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Gee wiz, finally found out what my brothers new job is. All this time he has been working in the upper stratospheres of programming and IT. And he never told me. His new job is from home and he works for the company that created and runs the Lojack product. they make products that let a company track their employees driving etc and compile it in a readable report format. I dont need nor want him to try and direct my life, kind of what he does now on occasion. but he could have been telling me about what he does and how to get started so i could consider it. That also tells me he doesnt care he just wants to control. I laughed when i found out.

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12 hours ago, Tachi said:

Oh, I thought someone hit your car, sorry.

No, I'm sorry, I forgot about it, with all the stress and pain I've been in, if you can believe that!  It's a mere nusance compared to everything else I'm going through.  :(

I only WISH we'd get no snow here (they need it at higher elevations but not here, yet we always get it), my hands are in so much pain I wonder how much longer I can keep doing this, yet I don't quit easily.  And Kodie loves it here.

How does your dad's medical get billed if he/you don't know what he has?  He has to have either Medicare or a Medicare Advantage program (mine is Healthnet).  I've had two doctors bill Medicare that should NOT have because they don't understand the difference between Medicare and a Medicare Advantage program, which supplants it.  II wonder how they mange their billing if they don't know the basics!

I feel the same way about Fall, I love it, if not for the impending winter hardships that follow.  

12 hours ago, Tachi said:

maybe in artwork i'll do that.

And I hope to see it!  I always felt lucky being born in the Autumn.  I love the poems about Autumn.
 

Autumn Fires
by
Robert Louis Stevenson


Next
 
In the other gardens
     And all up the vale,
From the autumn bonfires
     See the smoke trail!
 
Pleasant summer over
     And all the summer flowers,
The red fire blazes,
     The grey smoke towers.
 
Sing a song of seasons!
     Something bright in all!
Flowers in the summer,
     Fires in the fall!
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On 10/19/2020 at 8:50 AM, kayc said:

No, I'm sorry, I forgot about it, with all the stress and pain I've been in, if you can believe that!  It's a mere nusance compared to everything else I'm going through.  :(

I only WISH we'd get no snow here (they need it at higher elevations but not here, yet we always get it), my hands are in so much pain I wonder how much longer I can keep doing this, yet I don't quit easily.  And Kodie loves it here.

How does your dad's medical get billed if he/you don't know what he has?  He has to have either Medicare or a Medicare Advantage program (mine is Healthnet).  I've had two doctors bill Medicare that should NOT have because they don't understand the difference between Medicare and a Medicare Advantage program, which supplants it.  II wonder how they mange their billing if they don't know the basics!

I feel the same way about Fall, I love it, if not for the impending winter hardships that follow.  

And I hope to see it!  I always felt lucky being born in the Autumn.  I love the poems about Autumn.
 

Autumn Fires
by
Robert Louis Stevenson


Next
 
In the other gardens
     And all up the vale,
From the autumn bonfires
     See the smoke trail!
 
Pleasant summer over
     And all the summer flowers,
The red fire blazes,
     The grey smoke towers.
 
Sing a song of seasons!
     Something bright in all!
Flowers in the summer,
     Fires in the fall!

Thanks for the poem, I like it. True too. Praying for your pain. Docs need to get going. You need some peace. And end of pain. Any word from them, can they do anything at all? You'll need one of the kids to get you a tree for Christmas and set it up. Do you get a real tree or just decorate the house? Dad hasn't wanted to decorate much since Mom passed. It's just not at all festive here. But will put some things up. I forget that as pretty as it is snow can be a problem too. Guess i'm lucky that i'll be inside. 

I guess the good news is that I passed my exam with 85%. Such a relief. Honestly, about halfway thru I thought I was a goner. Now I need to review my basics and decide what to study next. I've spent the 3 days since mostly doing things for dad and just relaxing.

As far as I can see he has medicare and a policy from American Airlines as a secondary. I finally got to talk to a rep at AA. His Medicare is thru United Health and the AA will be added in for a Medicare C that takes over. His coverages dont change, the AA adds some things and his Part D is now paid for. Good thing is that all his medical is setup to autobill from his checking acct. I take care of all of it. he either cant or wont. he thinks he's the lord of the manor and im his footman or whatever else service he needs. Honestly hes very lucky im here. 

He also forgets or doesnt understand how to work the remote or his TV or both. Its obvious the remote doesnt work so I ordered him a new one, and its exactly the same. If he cant work this one he wont work a universal. He also cant get a properly sized pillow. he has a kids and a travel pillow and needs in between. Tempted to buy a foam one and cut it down. 

So how big is Kodie getting? Big as a house yet? Too bad he wont get big enough to pull you on a sled. That might come in handy. We were 90 two weeks ago and down in the 40s now. Fall is here to stay. Ours is short and will go to Winter. I'd rather see it 60s for awhile. Good thing I got 2 days of yardwork in.

Take good care of yourself and Kodie. Stay warm.

 

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Both kids are in the middle of moving and will be busy with that for quite a while.  Christmas is the furthest thing on my mind right now.  I always put up a real tree but in more recent years had a hard time getting it to fit in the stand and get it hauled away so went to an artificial one, I like real ones best but at least this is easy to put up and take down.  Haven't decided if I want to do it before my surgery, I usually do it the day after Thanksgiving.  I'm not much in the spirit this year and also will have to watch Kodie not chewing up all the ornaments so not sure.  He is a chewer!  Wouldn't surprise me if he'd chew the tree!  He got one of my newer shoes the other day.  He's not getting much bigger anymore, 16.4 lbs the last few months.  Feels like 100 lbs when he's pulling though!

That's a poem from my childhood, I read it to my kids too.  I was always interested in Robert Louis Stevenson.  Somewhere I have a rubber stamp of him sitting by the window looking longingly out as in Bed in Summer, that one touched me the most.  I remember making a card with it for George.

Your dad is definitely dementia affected, so sad.  That sounds like a great idea about the pillow!

I'm lost with the Medicare stuff, finally just picked Healthnet Ruby but it leaves a lot for surgery/hospital.  Can't afford supplemental with house and car payment, medical expenses, and home repairs!

Kodie is my joy!  Also my aggravation...  Funny how that works!  But I wouldn't trade him for anything, I love him to pieces!

 

 

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maybe instead of a tree you could decorate the mantle and such. Keep it up out of his reach. Or a small one on the table. I cleaned out Mom's old room and grouped all the Christmas together. Dad doesnt care much for holidays anymore. But at the least i'll decorate my room. We had nice holidays growing up. I've never had a holiday life at all. No parties or anything like that. I dont want glitter and glam and being out of work no expenses. Always been more for the snowfall at night in a deep forest. And the truer message of Jesus and peace. Something we may not see again except in our hearts.

Kodie must be a strong one. All muscle and chewy teeth. great company I know. Good he has you to look out for him. 

One of the greatest needs is to streamline Medicare so its easily understood. maybe standardize it. There has been one good outcome of this health crisis and thats all the ability to use televisits for health care. Theyre even thinking that people can have a monitoring station that will take vtals etc and transfer that to the doctor.

Stevenson...and special memories. I wish i could have met your George. he sounds like a very special person. It may not make sense but I think you're blessed for the time you had together. You will be together again one day. 

one of the delights of having folks who love antiques is getting to browse old books. used to love browsing the old bookstores. Old libraries. those times esp rainy days when the real world fades.

I was thinking about the state of my dad last night. he never talks about how he is doing so I have no clue how it is other than what I see. from his face he is troubled at times and lost at times. Some days he seems somewhat normal. On his good days sadly he plays his old games. Or he comes up with issues that make no sense. he keeps telling me his sheets and pillows dont work...because they fall off the bed. i try telling him he tosses and turns at night. He will never listen to anyone but himself, he is the sole holder of truth and reality. The sheets were coming off because they were too slick and the top wasnt pulled up to the headboard. none of which has anything to do with it. So I took his sheets and blankets and tucked em under the matteress tight at the foot. So far so good. I managed to find him pillows sized between toddler and travel, so far so good. It wont last. the hard thing for me is that he must always have an issue, always manufacture something wrong. And it seldom makes sense. 

It could get worse. Well, now that i've passed my exam I need to start looking at an IT specialisation to move into. More study lol.

We are 40s and 60 tomorrow. Hope you folks arent too cold. You should read some Christmas stories to kodie. I dont know what it is but for all thats going on there is still joy. Hang in there my friend. get your operation and see how it helps. there is hope. Take good care 

 

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It wouldn't be the same...Arlie used to gladly give up his spot by the window for the tree, he loved gazing at the lights, I so miss him!  I haven't decided, if my hand heals quickly I may do one, if not I'll have to do without.  It doesn't feel Christmassy without one.  Arlie and Kitty didn't bother the ornaments except I'd put cat and dog toys on the bottom branches, they knew they were for them, bells and such, Kodie has a way of destroying things he considers his.  To a puppy I can imagine it looks like a toy store, a free for all!

I do miss having family come and sharing the holidays with someone else.  Alas kids grow up, leave home and it's all part of the process.

I can't use televisits here, I have slow speed internet and my cellphone doesn't work here, can't afford a booster and higher speed internet yet, maybe someday, this has been a hard hitting year!  As next year will be, I have to get my house painted.  Miss the days I could do it myself but alas too hard on my hands and can't do ladders!  Getting old sucks.

17 hours ago, Tachi said:

I wish i could have met your George. he sounds like a very special person. It may not make sense but I think you're blessed for the time you had together. You will be together again one day. 

I couldn't agree more!  He was just the most caring person I've ever met, to EVERYONE!  And we had such amazing communication and bond.  

Have you tried flannel sheets for your dad?  They are wonderful this time of year and they do not slip and slide like the others.  I never wanted to go back to anything else.  Of course now I sleep in a recliner as I can breathe better and it supports my back better.

Congratulations on passing your exam!  It has to feel good to have that done!  I wish you well on your endeavors, you've worked hard for it and persevered!  Not an easy feat at this age with all you've taken on with your dad.

5TRKGGnLc (1).gif

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On 10/30/2020 at 7:29 AM, kayc said:

yes, to a puppy its all fair game. Ive wondered just what a dog or esp cat is thinking when they gaze at a light or the moon. Does it please them or do they just wonder what it is. I guess we are no different with many things. Quiet times when we seek solace and meaning. 

   When I worked in Lubbock in retail...I volunteered alot for holidays. As I had no family there I thought I might as well take it and let other people be with their families. I've never really minded being alone. Always thought it would be an advantage for a creative type, space to dream and practice skills. The few times i;d be off I enjoyed them. make a nice meal, drink a few beers and watch holiday shows. I enjoyed the old traditions. I think theres so much missing in our society today because theyve been replaced with what will soon be the socialist dogma. 

When I was married I started disliking holidays. One meal at my folks, one meal with her parents and one with her grandparents. By the end of the day i could have cared less. their meals were sitting at the end of the couch watching football while no one talked to me. very grateful I escaped. Sadly, never could get past what the divorce did to me to remarry. had chances just too messed up. 

   I forget you're out of town there, farther than I thought. Do what you can and pray for the best. 

One thing ive continually noticed in retail. the nicest and best people id meet would be elderly. Its the old folks who dont look at others and look down at them . Its like younger people are all conditioned to be suspicious and judgmental. And we had a few guys who were like your George. They were just themselves and made you totally at ease. When you walked away they left you feeling good in life. Just such a positive kind energy. 

I'm taking a couple weeks off. I need to get some thinsg done and wanted to learn some artwork. But never quite seems to go that way. Will have to decide my next steps, which will be narrowing the path. I'm not as positive as I was. It seems Biden will win. He has promised to do things detrimental to the economy. I'll be on the fringe looking for work. A bad economy and lots of unemployed wont help.

   He just got a new blanket and a duvet cover. he found a walmart giftcard in his wallet that was old but still good and started shopping. later I checked and he was ready to buy so he made his purchase. On amazon. Somehow he thought he could use his walmart card on amazon.

But I started tucking in his sheet and blankets real tight and seems thats fixed it. He doesnt often understand why things are as they are. his sheets and blanket were coming off the bed because they werent tucked in and he moves around alot. 

 I was chuckling that you sleep in a recliner but then it does make sense. Better for the body than a flat bed. Wonder if they make a chair like a plane seat, contoured and tilting. 

 Think i'll go make some dinner. Chicken and rice. Started eating brown rice and quinoa. Cant taste a difference but supposed to be healthy. Anyway, you and Kodie take good care. 

 

 

 

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I think they make chairs pretty much for everything.  I started sleeping in them because my husband died and the bed was a empty reminder of his absence, but over the years I've come to realize I breathe better with my allergies and asthma.  Supports my back too.

The gal I'm training to take over my Treasury job volunteered to come stay with me for a couple of days after my surgery to walk Kodie, cook etc.  A neighbor came and put my new generator together, I need to buy a cable for it and some propane and gas tanks but right now all my energy is going into preparing to be out of commission for a while.  I had to work at the church all day yesterday and some more today.  I had to pull my firewood out of my rack so I could separate the huge pieces from the smaller ones as no way can I lift it one handed after surgery!  Most of the wood in there was huge.  About five wheelbarrows full, only got about two done.  My neighbor said he'd pull them out as I get to them, just to call him when I'm ready.  And someone else volunteered to bring my wood up on deck once a week and fill up the rack.  I got the surgery place paid for.  So some last minute things to do and only a couple of days to do them.

I can't have rice but I eat cauliflower rice.

Kodie has been an angel today, he didn't do any digging in the pen yesterday or in the yard today.

I miss the times when my kids were growing up, family here, listening to football in the background while us ladies were doing dishes or putting the finishing touch on dinner.  Good times, now it's all too quiet.  George wasn't a sports fan, he liked classic car shows.  I'd always wanted to buy him one to work on in his retirement, he never got to retire though.

I hope tucking in the sheets helps, I wonder if some velcro would help?

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   We used to have a neighbor by the old house who worked for bell helicopter, many years ago. he restored classic cars. Once a week he drove his model A, 57 vette and 69 Mustang and wiped em down and parked em in his garage again. Always a pleasure to see that. I do prefer the older car styles, more character and sexier.

   After your surgery and you cab type let us know how you're doing. Will say a pryer for good outcome. really neat how people are helping you. Says theres some good people left in this world. Funny how the good ones I meet arent the well to do folks from a city but regular folks. guess they are closer to the truth. Hopefully the weather will be decent for you too. 

   I remember as a kid and we lived outside Chicago we'd drive to see dads family in Ohio. Everyone would come over to the Grandparents' and have big family get togethers. I agree, those were the best times. I remember much of it, the way the light was when the sunset, the fireflies, Sitting on the porch late talking. It was all so warm and cozy, def a different feel. 

   ya know what...George may have not had a retirement but he had you my friend. And somehow I think thats all he ever needed or wanted. Will remember you in my prayers. Take good care of yourself and Kodie of course :)

   

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I'm in a lot of pain and can't even think straight, my brain is literally not working right.  Kodie is being good, I'm glad I have him.  I had someone here for a short time but she's gone home.  I think I'll sleep good tonight.  I hope.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/10/2020 at 8:05 PM, kayc said:

I'm in a lot of pain and can't even think straight, my brain is literally not working right.  Kodie is being good, I'm glad I have him.  I had someone here for a short time but she's gone home.  I think I'll sleep good tonight.  I hope.

Im so sorry youre in such pain. please dont reply if typing hurts you. Prayers coming that they will be able to alleviate your pain and discomfort. hang in there.

I will tell you one story. My dad worked for american airlines for over 50 years. first as a pilot and then as their first flight instructor at the new then academy here in Texas. hes been in aviation since he was a young man working as a lineboy at a rural airfield in Ohio. he used to be part of a small club of flyers who met once a week to fly model planes and then have lunch and shoot the bull. But they havent been able to do that this year. So a couple days ago I sent an email to AA telling them about Dad and asking if they could send him a card this Christmas. next day I got a call from a rep and she said they'd be happy to. I've had three calls from AA and they are excited to do something for Dad. they have started sending it up thru the organisation and everyone really loves the idea. This last lady I talked to has a son with AA who works in Operations and he has been contacting alot of people and he's sending it over to the Pilots Union as well. She said theyre all talking about sending cards and some keepsakes as well and dont be surprised if he gets a ton of mail. 

I hate seeing my dad sitting all day grumpy and depressed. This gesture really touches my heart and I think it will make his Christmas. Now I need to get ahold of a couple of his buddies so he can tell them about it as its happening. i keep suggesting dad call them and he says he will but doesnt. No idea if he just forgets or what. I'm not telling him about it so will be a total surprise and if im lucky he will just think that they remembered him.

Please take good care of yourself and Kodie. Hoping you get some relief soon.

 

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Wow!  My son wanted to be a pilot, but he didn't have perfect eyes so when he went into the Air Force they wouldn't let him fly.  :(  He was disappointed.  His eyes weren't bad, like 20/40 or something as a teen.  

That is so neat what they're going to do for your dad!  It will be a huge blessing to him and cheer up his days!  I can't wait to hear his reaction when the cards start coming!!!  What a great idea!  You're a good son, that is so sweet!

My hand is improving daily, I'm over the worst of it but still can't lift heavy things or overdo it and opening jars/cans is still hard, typing is getting better although my fingers still stutter sometimes, have to check everything I type.  It could take months for the nerves to repair, IF they ever fully repair.

Have major problems with my garage/storage building, have someone coming out to look at it today, hoping I can afford whatever needs done.  This is the year for everything to hit it seems!  Kodie is being such an angel through everything, I'm amazed, esp. for his age.  Guess I can forgive a little digging.  ;)

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On 11/20/2020 at 9:26 AM, kayc said:

Wow!  My son wanted to be a pilot, but he didn't have perfect eyes so when he went into the Air Force they wouldn't let him fly.  :(  He was disappointed.  His eyes weren't bad, like 20/40 or something as a teen.  

That is so neat what they're going to do for your dad!  It will be a huge blessing to him and cheer up his days!  I can't wait to hear his reaction when the cards start coming!!!  What a great idea!  You're a good son, that is so sweet!

My hand is improving daily, I'm over the worst of it but still can't lift heavy things or overdo it and opening jars/cans is still hard, typing is getting better although my fingers still stutter sometimes, have to check everything I type.  It could take months for the nerves to repair, IF they ever fully repair.

Have major problems with my garage/storage building, have someone coming out to look at it today, hoping I can afford whatever needs done.  This is the year for everything to hit it seems!  Kodie is being such an angel through everything, I'm amazed, esp. for his age.  Guess I can forgive a little digging.  ;)

     Thankful your hand is better. Just take it easy. Kodie probably senses your discomfort and is being an angel. You may have to do things a little different but whatever works. 

     Why does it seem that problems come in bunches? 

     This old man here has decided how to cook again. Our spices are left over from Mom's cooking which makes them a few years old. I ordered a basic set and will start looking up recipes. My cooking has always just been what I like. The goal is something tender and yummy but no long prep time. yet I want to make new things and learn to use more spices properly. The Grand Experiment.

     My dad has gotten three cards already. One I noted was from a guy in our town. Another was from Arizona. dad is pleased but he doesnt seem to wonder why these strangers are sending him cards. I told him that AA has remembered him this year. I think this may be very interesting. 

     I did my shopping yesterday. We are having deli sliced turkey and roast beef and umpkin pie. I'll make all the other stuff. Just not worth it making a big dinner for us two.

     I also wanted to say that I appreciate your friendship. You have made this year a bit brighter so thank you. I'm hoping you folks will have a Happy Thanksgiving. 

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It doesn't surprise me that your dad doesn't wonder why the cards all of a sudden, I think when they begin to progress in their dementia, they are less likely to question/analyze and just accept things as they come, at least my mom seemed to.  I was amazed that when she went from the home her and daddy had built 59 years before, she went to a dementia care facility and slept a lot at first, then just seemed like she'd always been there, unquestioning.  I'd been so afraid of her being upset with the move!  Yet she didn't seem to realize it.

Good luck with the cooking venture!  I enjoy cooking but haven't been able to since my surgery as I can't immerse my hands in dishwater, makes it hard when you can't clean up the mess!  So I do simple stuff.  Would like to make a homemade soup again.

 

HT.jpg

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On 11/25/2020 at 9:10 AM, kayc said:

It doesn't surprise me that your dad doesn't wonder why the cards all of a sudden, I think when they begin to progress in their dementia, they are less likely to question/analyze and just accept things as they come, at least my mom seemed to.  I was amazed that when she went from the home her and daddy had built 59 years before, she went to a dementia care facility and slept a lot at first, then just seemed like she'd always been there, unquestioning.  I'd been so afraid of her being upset with the move!  Yet she didn't seem to realize it.

Good luck with the cooking venture!  I enjoy cooking but haven't been able to since my surgery as I can't immerse my hands in dishwater, makes it hard when you can't clean up the mess!  So I do simple stuff.  Would like to make a homemade soup again.

 

HT.jpg

Lol love minions. Thats cute. hope you had a good turkey day. really good your Mom settled in that way. I've read about so many problems. I know when my Mom had any changes from her routine she got very upset. I tried Curry Chicken by recipe the other night and it wasn't good. My dad wanted Buckwheat Pancakes for breakfast so i ordered a mix on Amazon. he said they weren't real Buckwheat cakes. Nothing is ever 'real' because it cant live up to his memory of what it was like.

I did buy some spices so will keep trying new dishes. dads the guinea pig i guess. Tonight I made chicken and rice with cream of chicken soup. i liked it but dad didnt. Last week I made tacos, same way our family has always made them. dad didnt like that the shells were crunchy. guess his tastes are changing or he's playing his narcissist games again. Either way he won't get tacos again. At times I think he brings a problem with no solution trying to cause anxiety. It doesn't. His complaints may be felt by him but theyre unrealistic. Like the constant complaints about the sheets on his bed. he cant accept he just tosses and turns and kicks at night. I should write a book.

He's gotten 5 cards already so fun to check the mail.

So how is the hand doing? guess it will take a good deal of time. Well, hang in there. It'll come along. How big is kodie getting? Have you gotten him a doggie sweater yet? I dont think we ever did but ive seen people get those. No idea if theyre good.

Take good care of yourself and you folks stay warm. 30s and 40s here at night.

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1309609293_Kodie112820.thumb.JPG.b3d31c8fe633c2a06167e3d3588a525e.JPGDon't feel you have to please him all the time or cater to all of his whims.  You can't.  What he likes or doesn't can change from time to time and the demands can be unreasonable or unsustainable.  Esp. with dementia!  They eat less and less as the disease progresses.  My mom weighed between 60 and 70 lbs. at the point of her death.  100 was a better weight for her.  I tried getting her to eat (How about if I take a bite and then YOU take a bite!) but that only works for so long.

You are sweet to get this card thing going!  I'm sure he enjoys them.

6 hours ago, Tachi said:

Nothing is ever 'real' because it cant live up to his memory of what it was like.

This says it all.

My hand is still swollen and sore, last night it hurt one of the worst it has.  Still on Ibuprofen & Tylenol PM and now soaking in Epsom salts.  That seems to be better than icing it...too bad I had to learn that from a friend (Occupational Therapist) rather than the doctors.  She said ice doesn't work for everyone, esp. with arthritis involvement.  That is a for sure!  Doctors have not been helpful whatsoever.  And this place is supposed to be "the best."  Ha!  So much for "no recovery time!"

Not sure what, if any, Kodie has gained, his vet is in Pleasant Hill and no one allowed in so weighing him his out and too iffy on home scales.  Puppies don't hold still very long!  He's supposed to get vaccinated in January, will have them weigh him then.  He's doing great though, such a sweetie!  Here's a picture I took this week...he always looks serious for the camera, yet he smiles all the time and is in constant motion when not resting!

No he doesn't need a sweater, he has LOTS of fur and undercoat!  And water seems to shed off of him once he shakes the majority off.  Hard to explain, but he never stays soaking wet, Arlie had to have a coat for the rain as he was 1/2 Golden Retriever and only 1/2 Husky.
 

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