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6 hours ago, Tachi said:

i get my stubborn from Mom. :)

Sometimes digging in stubborn is good!  I think where your brother is concerned, it's essential!

I was going to suggest a lap table for your dad but then I see you've tried suggesting everything known to man and he turns thumbs down to it all.  Not much you can do with that.  Lord I hope I'm never that obstinate!  By the time you get to that age and throw in dementia, I think we're beyond changing.  My mom was habitual and efficient and having her ways and patterns enabled her to live alone as long as she did, she went into dementia care at 90, needed to be there a full year beforehand!  It takes that long to get the govt cooperation, she would NOT go to a doctor until we took her to court to have it ordered!  Meanwhile she was living alone and a danger to herself.  It was one of the most stressful times of my life, worrying about her.  Knowing I could not take her in because I still had to work and no relief during work/sleep, and knowing she could kill my dog or burn the house down.  For that reason my siblings also could not take her in.  That and it would have polished off their marriages/families.  She was a hard person to deal with.  I did travel to be with her on my days off and fill her pill boxes, check her food supply, help her, take her places.  My brother spent Sundays with her.  It wasn't enough, no matter what we did.

Christmas was okay, saw my kids briefly, my son lives in a very remote, difficult to find area, I had my daughter drive while I tried to see where we were, it helped to have a collective effort, GPS doesn't always give perfect directions.  Grandkids opened presents the entire time we were there when we weren't eating, and still had more so no interaction with them.  Mine never had that much!  Don't think it's good for them, but not my kids to raise.  It was the first day my daughter had off in MONTHS, and her boss tried to get her to work then too!  That's nuts.  She did her entire move without days off!  She hasn't unpacked most of her stuff yet, but it's in the new place.  Living area looks nice but she has boxes lining the stairwell and both sides of her bedroom!  I feel so sorry for her, I wish her life were better.  She deserves so much better than it's dished out to her.  My son has his shop ready for cement pouring, everything is stored elsewhere or up off the floor, he's on a waiting list.  I'll be glad when he can unpack his shop and get it set up, it was his stress reliever.  It's a beautiful home & setting but I really miss his old place, it felt like "home" and had the most beautiful views I've ever seen!  That's something I miss here, I don't see the sunrises & sunsets, too many trees.  I see why some people take them down.

We've only had smatterings of snow, that is great by me!  Hoping it holds off until II can get the year end done at the church.  Tried yesterday but soc sec wouldn't let me in.  Took everything home and tried here this morning, called when they opened at 4 am my time but still can't get in.  They told me to have the new person register and do it!  Still would have to do the OR iwire (W2s & W3) and see if there's any more forms we have to do, I think there's one more with the Feds reconciling 941s for the year.  Ugh, I hate it.  Got the rest done though.  Blood sugar up until this is over I think.

The cards are impressive!  I'm sorry he didn't give much response.  I think it's the dementia, they become incapable of understanding much of anything.  It's not him, it's the dementia.  You tried, and you're a great son.  I know, no accolades in this lifetime, but still, you can take satisfaction in knowing who you are as a person.  You give of yourself regardless. ;)




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On 1/5/2021 at 9:10 AM, kayc said:

   I can understand elderly not wanting to give up control, its very scary. You justify and make excuses and think you'll be ok. She was blessed to have someone to do what was needed. Our Christmas was about same as any day, just a little celebrate. I do miss a good Christmas. Kids will be kids, always about fun. At least you got a bit of time with family. Next year if your bored i'll ask my brother if they'd like to eat dessert on skype with ya. Doesnt sound exciting to me either. 

   Not looking forward to skyping with him. He is a diehard rabid leftist. While I am a realist. I believe in giving credit where its due, good or bad, no matter the party. he will be going on and on and will drive me to go nuts and scream at him...I must be nice, I must. 

   There needs to be a spot with a clean view so you can see the sun and moon. Filtered light thru the forest is nice. Some days we get a short time where the sun filters through the window on the front door. As filtered light-rays go its beautiful. 

New houses/moving etc seems alot more work and time than we figure. Im sure they will be so relieved once its done. 

Seems as bad as govt was before, with Covid its ten times as bad. When we finally got dads taxes in there was no word for months. I asked his taxguy to call and seems they needed another form and didnt tell anyone. Got that in two months ago and still no word. Maybe im dumb but I dont see why its that much slower working from home. 

   We are now getting some nights to freezing and even had snow the other day. wasnt cold enough to stick here but east of Dallas some got up to 8 inches. 

   Thank you. I wear down some days and wonder why I try. I'm searching for a good Reuben sandwich for him. but nothing is ever good. This last one was really tasty. But not enough sauerkraut and onion and it didnt taste like corned beef. he cant admit he has lost his sense of taste. 

   But he got a catalog for Great Courses and wanted to buy the Tai Chi one. I reminded him he has all that on the channel on Prime. So I turned it on and left him to see what its all about. Checked on him an hour later and he was watching a western. I guess his heart is in the right place. he talked to his neurologist about his low energy levels. He is 94, doesnt drink enough water. hasnt had appreciable exercise in several years. Of course he doesnt have any energy. I told him lots of people even do Tai Chi sitting down. He just needs to move something. I dont think he is capable of making the connection.

   Wondering at this point if studying is worthwhile. If what has been talked about happens to the economy there wont be any jobs. My future is now extremely uncertain. But all I can do is wait and see. 

yea, get to talk to brother friday...and im sure he will be gleeful and just full of it.

Anyway, scratch Kodie on the ears for me. Take good care.





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Your post is showing up as a quote from me, but isn't, that had me confused!

I can't Skype here.  May be limited with internet & cellphone service here but the trade offs are worth it to me, being in the country around nature/animals, and not only such beautiful surroundings but everything a wee bit more slowed down and caring neighbors.  More like things USED to be!

Yeah, I don't see any excuse why our government seems to have dropped the ball on working this last year.  Went through a nightmare trying to do the church' year end forms, soc. sec. would not let me on to file the W-2s/W-3!  Had to call them at 4 am, as they wouldn't answer the phone or return calls.  Got someone but she wouldn't help me.  They wanted to "mail me a pw in two weeks!"  Too late for filing deadlines.  I had my asst. register and we went through her.  Have to go back to the church with her Saturday and work some more as the sec. decided to cut her hours and not having a PR module, I have to change everything in about 100 places.  So will walk Kelley through the process, ugh.  Wondering if I'll ever be done with this!  Also have to clean out the files, which I usually do after the audit and they're behind a year so now two years' worth to do and keep separate.

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

Checked on him an hour later and he was watching a western.

:D  That's cute!

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

My future is now extremely uncertain.

Don't give up.  I think the hardest hit industries are restaurants and gyms.  People who are innovative and flexible with changes are making things work but a lot of people are working from home as much as possible.  My son works at Garmin, very technical, still working, I don't think he'll ever be out of work!

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