Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Mom


Recommended Posts

14 hours ago, Tachi said:

I did some reading on working out and drew up a new regimen.

Best to do something you can keep up doing, not aim for something unattainable on a regular basis.  Consistency is the important thing.

Huskies are quiet, that's another thing I like about them.  Arlie "talked," which I miss terribly, but Kodie is very quiet, rarely barks, he spins when excited, it's really cute, he sort of squeaks sometimes when excited.  The hounds in the neighborhood are the worst, 13 dogs sounds like 26!  One of the German Shepherds across the street is horrible with his incessant barking in the middle of the night, etc.  Bad enough in the day, but who lets their dog bark all night and won't bring them inside or shut them up!  Very inconsiderate IMO!

You are right about caregiving.  I have to take my sister to town (130+ mile round trip) every week for six months now!  Not looking forward to it, the time gone from Kodie, the wear & tear on my car & expense involved.  I gave her Ridesource information after Bert died but she won't contact them, she puts off everything, would rather dump everything on me.

Do any of the local banks have a notary?  Sometimes Real Estate places have one too.  

Wish I did not have to go on the highway today (granddaughter's birthday celebration) as yesterday there was a horrid three car head-on that killed three people and three are in the hospital, one left critical, another heading to jail after this.  The highway was closed for hours, backed up ten miles, clear to & across our town.  I was lucky to get home from church.  It's very sobering.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Agreed, people who have dogs need to attend to them. maybe it doesnt bother them, they get used to it? No excuse. 

Can we send you our warm weather? mid to upper 80s and no rain. looks like summer is on the way. Absolutely love the cool nights and temperate days. The house gets so stuffy and sticky in summer. 

Found a notary who will accept my testimony of who dad is. now just have to go over and understand the Trust. Two documents...one assigns his possessions to the Trust and the other establishes the Trust and his and my roles. IF that works out is a huge relief.

Kodie sounds cute lol. maybe you should get him a kiddie pool for the heat of summer. I have no idea if it gets that hot for you folks.

Sounds like sis just loves being taken care of. dad has gotten that way but I dont mind because him trying to arrange anything is a nightmare. She is very blessed to have you. At some point I wish for you a nice vacation of peace and quiet.

Notaries...we went to the one at dads bank because they know him there. She had no idea what was going on. The bank mgr, who knows dad, came over and sat in. that was rather improper. She has always treated me as if im trying to cheat dad. Every time I get the strangest looks from her. the two of them had no idea about the POAs or the DNR. They marked on my DNR form, never mark on someones form. They did the POAs and refused the DNR because she didnt see the doctor sign it. I talked to the State of Texas and they were amazed they didnt do it. The notary doesnt need to see the doctor sign it, just my dad. They assured me the doctors office would have a notary, none do. I asked the lady at the Texas Office to email me a letter of how to do the DNR and mailed a copy to the notary at the bank. 

We went to my bank. That one had no idea what she was doing. On the form she signs twice, once for watching dad and a second time that the form was correct. State of Texas says thats how its done. She even called a notary hotline and they told her dont sign it. 

The form I was using was a standard form from the Tx Dept of health website. Its filled out and notarised no problem many times a day. the lady at the health Dept was amazed no one had a clue. When dad was in the hospital i talked to his social worker and she was amazed the notaries didnt understand. Honestly, i dont know how people get these things done. the Bank Mgr at dads bank even snidely asked me what atty created the form. i told it its from the Tx State Dept of health. People who think you have to have an atty for everything are people who can afford them. many things can be done without one. Altogether we will be saving dad a couple thousand by doing the forms myself. 

I rather suspect trouble from dads bank manager after he passes and I try and settle his estate. My name is also on all his accounts and the deposit box. I asked the banker if when he passes they would pass to me TOD and they said yes. Tbh I dont know whats wrong with these people. Ive killed a career and running down my life savings and making sacrifices to be here and take care of my dad. It is my responsibility to make sure the estate will handle properly as his wishes dictate. I am setting it up to follow his wishes. I am an honest and honorable man, it irks me to be treated that way.

Sorry, that bank...

I asked on the Ft Worth reddit and found a notary about 30-40 minutes away. they will come to the house on a saturday when we're ready at no charge. Im guessing theyre a social worker by their reddit name. I just hope dad doesnt have a bad day or they wont do it. 

Im tired of the stress and worry. i know you must get that too. Would be nice to go fishin. just sit under a nice shady tree with a basket of snacks and drinks and relax.

Wow be careful indeed. People think the car is a toy and just zoom around, drink and drive. It can have tragic consequences. i find I stay at home as much as I can. 

Take good care of yourself and kodie. find peace where you can and relaxation.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jazzy's mom has a wading pool for Jazzy & Kodie to play in but so far he won't go in it.  

It was 80s & 90s here, now it's cold again, I had to build a fire this morning, I was hoping to be done with that!  Had to haul some wood up on the deck.

A lot has happened this week, my sister Peggy fell, she walked somewhere she never should have, she knows she can't be on uneven ground, let alone attempt cobblestones!  Ambulance came & checked her, she went home.  She broke her dentures and glasses.  She hasn't made an appt. for new dentures yet but her old denturist retired, she hasn't been in for 20 years.  She has an appt. for her eyes (out of town, everything is 50-70 miles away), I was to take her on the 16th but it may be out until her ribs heal.  I made some homemade soup & took to her.  Will take her my blender too if she comes home, but she called me 6:30 am yesterday to tell me she's calling an ambulance.  When I called the hospital last night they still hadn't admitted her but she has several broken ribs, at least her nose is okay.  Family/neighbors want me to take her in but my house isn't set up for that, she's a large woman, would make more than two of me, she wouldn't be able to use my bathrooms, her walker is huge, it's hard for me to lift even, she can't use a bathtub or my shower as it's too small/flimsy for her, and no bars, she needs a place set up for it, my carpet all needs replaced & I have no help moving things so I have rugs everywhere.  Since she fell my BP went up 70 points!  I'd been doing so well on it.  I do NOT want to have a stroke or heart attack!  Peggy is resistant and stubborn to the umpth degree!  She does NOT want to contact gov't to utilize whatever services are available and puts up smokescreens that don't exist.  I may have to call Senior and Disabled to find out what's available.  All of this is taking all my time and energy, I'm exhausted from this week.  I worked the church' garage sale the last two days and need to take my car in to get the oil changed (60+ miles away) and get groceries (it's been three weeks, I'm out of everything) and visit her in the hospital tomorrow.  Poor Kodie, I don't like leaving him this much.  He's such a sweetie, he keeps my sanity right now...and always.

I don't know where Peggy's will/documents are, where she keeps her files/financial information.  Even after bringing it up to her she still hasn't told me.  If she passes, it'll be a nightmare.  You are doing well to get all this will/notary stuff done and I applaud your efforts!  Your dad has no idea how lucky he is to have you!  Shows he raised one of you right!

12 hours ago, Tachi said:

Would be nice to go fishin. just sit under a nice shady tree with a basket of snacks and drinks and relax.

Yes, doesn't it!  It sounds pretty remote right now.  How I miss George!  He loved to go fishing, and even though I'm allergic (can't touch/breathe/eat them) I'd go with him and just sit with him quietly out in nature, I love it, so peaceful!

And just one week ago I was worried about driving on Memorial Day to my son's...what a week, it seems like a year since.  Peggy doesn't remember being diagnosed with dementia.  Of course not! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I called and it took me hours to get Peggy...she sounds like Stage IV dementia, it terrified me!  I called back and talked to the nurse, she has no one listed as contact.  The nurse said she thinks it's 1948.  She talks nonsense, can't reach for words, doesn't answer questions, it's crazy!  She was fine the day before.  I asked if she's on some Rx doing that and they said no, that sometimes if someone is early dementia and out of their surroundings, it can do this but it should go back to normal if she's back in her surroundings.  She has a caseworker and has seen doctors, I don't know what their plans are.
 
When I got home after getting my oil changed (60+ miles away) I noticed a pool of oil when I moved the car so checked, there is NO OIL!  No light came on, nothing!  I spent the next few hours trying to get someone to help me, they finally called, I gave them hell, they're supposed to have someone up here to tow it away as of 11 minutes ago...still waiting.  They need to check the engine, also why no lights came on, and get to the bottom of their service problems.  Also bring me a car.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

hang in there, I know its crazy, but hang on. Address one thing at a time and breath. That oilchange place is just amazingly bad. Wonder if they disengaged the sensor or something, then didnt tighten the bolt, maybe it fell out. 

Did they check peggy for an infection, maybe urinary tract? Is she any better? Sounds like they need to list someone as contact. She doesnt seem to be able to make decisions for herself. 

George sounds alot like my Great uncle too. Fishing and just sitting in nature is soothing for body and soul. 

We are low 90s now. Our cool temps and rain is gone probably for the summer. Heat index over 100. next week a bit cooler so hope to get the grass seed done. I dont do well in the heat anymore.

Poor Kodie doesnt know what he is missing. maybe he will learn to enjoy a cool dip. You're doing so much, get what rest you can and make sure to eat. peggy sounds like my dad. he doesnt know what or where anything is nor does he care. He STILL hasnt gotten last year's income tax return yet. his man filed this years and the IRS cashed his check but cant seem to process the return from last year. 

Sayin a prayer for you and Peggy, smooth transition and solving problems. I wish there was someone there to help you. Sounds like Peggy or you for her need to do some things she isnt ready for. Do you have her POA? that would help. 

Spending alot of time doing things for dad, like repairing his TP holder he broke and trying to get his docs office to see if they gave him antibiotics. Finding out he had bacteria in his urine and they want to take care of it. Just didnt bother to let us know. 

My dad has eaten tacos for decades. Mom got the shells and kits at the store. hard and crispy corn shells. last time I made tacos he commented he didnt like em because the shells were too crispy. So tonight I ordered delovery and got some good mexican food that was a sandwich on flatbread and one on a cornmeal flatbread and tasted like a taco. Chicken and one was brisket. i thought they were good, dad didnt. he opinioned that he wanted 'real' tacos and no one makes 'real' tacos anymore. I explained they do but he doesnt like em because he complained they were crispy. he doesnt like flour tortillas. never ever seen a soft corn tortilla and I explained this to him. he 'remembers' a soft corn tortilla taco or just has an idea they shouldnt be crispy and crunchy? I dont even try with this stuff anymore cause it doesnt exist except in his mind and I dont care to chase a ghost, because nothing will ever be good enough. I guess from now on theres no more trying new things to give him variety. Ill just get him his old standbys of Whataburger and Chick Fil A. 

Going to go watch a movie with dad. take good care of yourself, Hope the rest of the week looks up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, Tachi said:

Sounds like they need to list someone as contact.

They have me on file, she must have given them my info last time.  I have literally been bombarded with phone calls and emails! (family, friends, neighbors...all inquiring and telling me what I should do!)  Day 4 one told me I need to go clean out her fridge...it's not going to hurt anything this soon!  I get groceries every two weeks and rarely throw away food.  Last time it was three weeks before I got groceries as I was busy dealing with her.  Even then she wanted me to do stuff. 

That was the day of the car fiasco.  The dealership lied to me, said everything was fine, told me to come pick up my car, so it took me over four hours, rush hour traffic, shouldn't have taken over 2 1/2.  I think they were covering up.  My son said if it sucked air the bearings could go bad. I have five years left on my warranty, I should know by then. ;)  Can't go up against a big corp. like them.  This has been a week from hell.

Then dealing with my sister Polly, upset that I "didn't tell her"...I did, I reminded her it was in a group email for the siblings.  I know she read it because she remembered the doctor's name.  Julie thinks Polly has dementia starting, it looks that way.  Can't deal with her, she's the one that yells at me over the phone when she's stressed.  All I need is more family!

14 hours ago, Tachi said:

Did they check peggy for an infection, maybe urinary tract?

They have checked her for everything, I gave permission for them to give her an epidural for pain.  They said she's not capable of making decisions for herself and they're supposed to come up with a plan for her before she can be moved, she needs 24 hour care.  She has 6 broken ribs.  She's told everyone something different but I got that from the doctor.  It takes me hours to get through to her because she can't reach to answer the phone so it just rings, no matter how many times I tell them they have to take the phone TO her.  She does not want us to visit her.  A neighbor did visit her yesterday, haven't talked with her yet, she's very invasive/controlling, so not looking forward to more exchange with her.  (Refrigerator monitor).

She has no POA and isn't capable of making one now.  It's too late, the state will likely take over and take her home.  I need to get some clothes out for her and Bert's ashes for safekeeping.  I told Polly they can come get family heirlooms if they want, all I want to make sure of is Bert's ashes are okay.  I told her on the off-chance Peggy returns to a better mental state and is able to return home with a caregiver, they can bring her "treasures" back. 

It's a mess.  I intend to make my son POA and put him on my bank account before I get like this!  All I know to do is prepare and take as good care of myself as I can.  None of us can be assured we won't get dementia someday, all we can do is help the odds the best we can.  Never have I seen someone go from 0-100 so quickly!  The nurse said it's trauma-induced escalation.  She was diagnosed four years ago but she had it years before that but she was semi-functional until this last fall.

I just got a recipe for Keto Empanadas this morning but who knows if he'd like them.  I'm sorry it's such a struggle, it's like arguing with an inanimate object for all the further you get.  Very frustrating, I know!  Can't argue, just agree, then do whatever.  Good luck to you, I keep you & your situation in my prayers too. :wub:
 

Keto Ground Beef Empanadas

INGREDIENTS

·         Dough:

·         1 1/2 cups mozzarella

·         3 oz cream cheese

·         1 1/4 cup almond flour

·         1 egg

·         Filling:

·         1 lb ground beef

·         1/2 cup chopped onion

·         1/4 cup chopped green olives (if desired)

·         1 tsp each: chile powder, cumin, smoked paprika

·         1 tbsp olive oil

·         1/3 cup salsa of choice


INSTRUCTIONS

1.   Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2.   In a pan over medium heat, cook onions in 1-2 tbsp olive oil until slightly softened. Add in ground beef and break up with a spatula. Season meat mixture with chile powder, cumin and smoked paprika. Cook until browned. Add in salsa of choice and olives if using. Set aside.

3.   While meat is cooking, add mozzarella and cream cheese to a bowl and microwave for one minute. Take out and stir well, then put back in the microwave for another minute. Stir well.

4.   Add egg to mozzarella and cream cheese mixture and mix well. Then add in the almond flour and combine well again.

5.   Roll the dough flat with a rolling pin or with a piece of plastic wrap on top and use a wine bottles. Once you’ve rolled it flat, about 1/4″ thick, use a bowl to cut circle shapes.

6.   For excess dough, form into a ball then roll out again and repeat the process until all the dough has been used.

7.   Lay on a lightly greased cooking sheet, parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.

8.   Place a two spoonfuls of meat mixture into each circle on one half and then fold the other half over. Make sure to press down firmly on the edges. You can also slightly roll the edges to make sure they’re together well or use a fork to gently push down the edges.

9.   Once you’ve made all the empanadas, cook at 425 degrees for 12 minutes until starting to turn golden brown.

4 net carbs

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

How are ya holding up? Id hate being bombarded like that. Standing rule should be if people want to tell ya what to do they have to come help. never works like that. Tune em out.So how is your sister? Such a mess and so much falls on you. Prayers for you always. you need some peace in all this. I'm working on dads Trust and think I have it almost done. Then have a notary who says they will come over. They're also a social worker so kind of shy at having one in. I hope my dad doesnt have a bad day. He's been pretty good this week. mostly just trouble figuring out how remotes and phones work. 

Thanks for the recipe, going to the store in a few days and want to try it. I think im done ordering food in. Got KFC wings for dad last night and they were horrible. I make better.

Hope to have nice wildflower pics for next time. One bed did real well and the others arent growing so guessing they dont get enough sun. Morning glories are taking over their part of the yard. I may be bold and try some seed in pots even tho we are in the 90s daily. 

I have to wonder how early the seeds of elder diseases begin. I know I should have taken much better care of myself starting decades ago. people just dont understand. you can tell them but they wont listen. Ive read dementia isnt hereditary so hopefully it will pass you by. All we can do is what we can do. just take good care of yourself. i know that I can do better and I will.

how is kodie doing? Good you have such a sweet pup, I know it helps.

Oh, addition to my PB&J sandwich

I toast 7 grain bread

PB on one side and Hazelnut spread  on the other

drizzle honey, add jelly and some banana slices

it falls all over the place but I think im addicted.

take good care

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is the old adage, "If I'd known I'd have lived this long, I would have taken better care of myself!"  I think most of us can say that. 

It's been insane the last 18 days!  Not hearing from Loose Lips Wanita anymore, which is fine by me.  Do not need her "advice."  

Social worker told me we'd have a telephone conference tomorrow and if anyone else wanted in on it (my other two sisters do) they could call her and she'd conference them in.  Older one called it a zoom call (it's not) so my little sister was going to go to her house to be in on it so I left a msg with the social worker asking if it's phone or zoom since she'd told me phone.  She called back and said it's not zoom and she hasn't heard from my other sisters and she can't conference anyway!  (She had distinctly told me she'd set it up).  She said I am the only one she can talk to since I am the contact.  (That is NOT what she'd told me last time!).  I am getting fed up with getting conflicting information from all of these people, doctors, nurses, social workers, caseworkers, my older sister, etc.  

Peggy's electrical needs worked on and she has thus far refused to call someone, even though I provided her with names of some reasonable providers here 1-2 months ago.  Everything she owns is filthy as her dryer outlet doesn't work.  I brought home all of her laundry and washed it, two trips up/down the mountain each time.  I went to get her mail yesterday and neighbor who holds it for me (we'd agreed upon Sundays after church) was not there.  I am so tired of putting wear/tear on my car plus the time everything is costing, so that I don't have time to do what I need HERE!   Peggy sounds better but still showing dementia, of course.  I'm afraid they won't let her come home and she will give up and die.  I've impressed upon her repeatedly, the need to do her best for them so they will let her come home.  Of course, that is buying time for the day will come when she will have to be institutionalized unless she dies first...my prayer as I know she wants to be in her home.  I've been talking to her about needing a caregiver/housekeeper, I hope she is warming up to the idea.  It does bother me, though, that because she fell and hurt herself the gov't is now involved and gets to have complete control!  It doesn't seem right.  They are trying to make her walk on uneven ground, which I do not agree with...had they shown an interest in that when she was in her 20s it might have helped, she is 77 and an old one at that, I feel it's too late and inviting trouble.  MY GOAL is to help her respect her limitations so she does not continue to fall!  Her mental capacity and lack of judgement is her greatest handicap.

I do hope you reach a point where you feel good about what you're doing about your health, 60s seems a benchmark for sure!  I am thankful for the last 1 1/2 years and the changes I've made in myself and my life.  It  showed up in my eye exam!  New glasses costing over $900!  I'm fortunate to have to only pay $333 after insurance!  I requested but have not yet received an itemized receipt, call me curious!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Hope youre well, and Kodie too. have you been having the crazy hot temps? We missed the rain so im listening to rain on Youtube. 

'Loose Lips Wanita' lol good shes leaving you alone. Maybe she in a way understands. Or just got distracted. Told my brother I didnt get the covid shot when Dad did and he didnt go haywire, he must be tired. California hasnt been sending him his unemployment and hes hurting. his new job is contingent on getting an FDA security clearance so he may be awhile.

Somehow youre supposed to understand whats going on and navigate a treacherous field when they keep changing the rules. The system is just broken. Hang in there, do the best you can. There will be a resolution.

I think you're right. No uneven ground. Respect limitations and live the best Life possible under those limits. Will be praying for her. Sounds like she just needs a tad bit of clarity. The govt works only to satisfy their metrics and rules and not to help people. Ive given up on them.

I'm also praying for you. I know youre tired and you hurt, hang on. Hoping you can get all that settled and then relax with your own life.

I keep reminding myself we are only buying time with Dad. I almost have his Trust done and then we can get it and his dnr notarised, I hope. dad got a new phone, a greatcall android. Seems a bit easier than the old android. He only needs to make calls but hes going thru the manual, reading how to do it all and breaking it daily. he keeps hitting the 5star emergency button. He is accidentally doing things because he lets his fingers get close to the screen. Im writing him a couople cheatsheets on how to work it. I wonder if he would enjoy a tablet with some basic games on it.

My health...my body still responds well to exercise, tho slowly and it feels good. But im mentally weak and skip days. I need to eat cleaner and I have trouble focusing but I might be able to help that. 

Ive been looking at dads bills from the hospital and his Insurance. Its odd to me how medicare etc limits how much they can charge and then pays their share. So if you didnt have Ins you paid the full charge, that seems wrong. My Dads old doctor gave him a handful of back pain brochures and remarked he could then bill for a back exam. Its just one big scam and they jack charges up to bilk the insurance. Thats life.

Take good care of yourself, hoping things settle down for you. Good thing you have Kodie to scratch behind his ears. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was 122 in Oakridge, it's NEVER been that hot here!  It was 96 inside my house that night.  It was hard surviving it, truly miserable.

I've learned a lot about Peggy in the last month.

  • She needs to respect her limitations.  Regardless of what horrid Marquis says.
  • She let her checks run out and didn't order new ones.
  • She didn't pay her electric bill last month.
  • She didn't take care of her electrical problems, instead she opted not to do her laundry again, leaving it for me to do.
  • She hasn't cleaned her house since Bert died except to run a vaccuum once or twice (it's been nine months).
  • She hadn't done her dishes.
  • She hadn't cleaned out her refrigerator or taken out her garbage.
  • She is disorganized.  You can't find past check registers, a budget, her taxes are all thrown helter skelter into a cupboard, no order.
  • Her closet is so full of clothes that don't fit you literally cannot fit another hanger into it!  She's out of hangers.
  • Her garage is like a hoarders, everything thrown into it, do not know what this stuff is, can't lift it, no rhyme or reason to it.
  • The boat and motor she sold and received payment for, the motor is missing.

On and on it goes.  I'm bringing her home tomorrow.  She'd planned on staying there until her oxygen level is 90 (it's 89), I bought her a pulse oximeter and blood pressure monitor and she will come home with oxygen.  She was going to let them strongarm her into staying until it's down but that makes no sense.  She can do oxygen just as well at home as there.  

  • They broke hippa laws with loose lips Wanita.
  • They fed her tomato soup for dinner six days in a row (she hates red sauce).
  • They brought her salads and steak she can't eat without dentures, they'd been appraised she needed a soft food diet.
  • Sunday they didn't bring her morning medicines until just before dinner, then brought her evening ones two hours later.  That could kill someone!  They were short staffed because of the heat.  WHAT!!!  They needed to order people to work for threat of their job.  No excuse!
  • They tried to get her to walk on uneven surfaces, a NO for her!  If someone was to work with her on that they should have done it fresh after her injury when she was 23, not when she's 77 and every time she falls she breaks something!  She has no equilibrium.

I see her coming home as temporary, because she's worsened.  Her biggest handicap is not her equilibrium it is her lack of common sense, and that's been life long, but is worsening.  I talked to her about putting me on as POA and signer on her bank account.  She also needs to point out where crucial things are (will, etc.).  So hard to get anywhere with her!  I told her me doing her laundry the rest of her life is not a permanent solution.  

I pretty much don't have a life anymore.  Welcome to your world, huh?!

On 6/29/2021 at 10:04 PM, Tachi said:

So if you didnt have Ins you paid the full charge, that seems wrong.

Absolutely!  And I read that Biden and Trump took off the table lowering Rx overcharging!  I cannot understand that whatsoever.  We've been gouged in America way too much.

You're right about medical bilking insurance.  I'm fed up with shyster doctors and drug companies.

I have been letting Kodie sleep with me so the fan hits us rather than in his crate in the back room.  He does really well with it.  He means the world to me, my bright spot in my life.  ;)

I totally relate to what you say about buying time, I get it, that's how I feel too.  I want Peggy to enjoy her life at home as long as she can but I can't "make" her do the right things, only work on her.  I understand your frustrations, I'm there too.

Keep taking care of yourself, it's the one thing we can control and it helps us, win/win!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/30/2021 at 10:41 AM, kayc said:

   Sounds like she does need someone to run her life. maybe she needs to be in a facility. But then I dont know about such things. Seems Life keeps throwing situations with no easy answers. It is the worst to be trying to help them and they fight it or dont offer any help. My dads financial affairs were bad. There are still things I dont know and have no one to ask. At least she has you to help her. I cant understand health professionals who dont care. I just dont. If I were an attorney I would be a very busy man. And I would be a target because I would be honest.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you both. Somehow peace and some order must come from this. hand in there, pray, and breath. Hope somehow you find some time for yourself. Oasis of calm. 

I always have said as long as I can do my artwork and have the basics of life covered im happy. Having a decent job, where you're appreciated and welcomed, never had that. I dont need anything fancy or extra or expensive. just be safe and alive and do artwork. i just have such a hard time learning that and doing it. I have questioned myself so many times. That something is wrong with me. but after long enough the question fades and you just shrug your shoulders.

I guess we dont get much choice in Life. So with what we have we do our best. 

My current view is that the entire game is rigged and people are getting rich and fat off of us. Im certainly not getting anything. 

The IRS sent another letter addressed to Mom saying they need 60 more days to decide how to answer her request. In other words they havent even looked at her file and are just stalling. The taxman cant even reach them by phone and the tax office wont answer my emails. So the IRS owes dad just under 900 and I dont think he will ever see it. Taxguy says everything is filed and he has no idea what their problem is. I wonder if they didnt lose his return.

Kodie should get an award. Such a good pup. Too bad you cant teach em to cook and clean.

I used to get so frustrated with dad. My best friend pointed out that we do just so much then ya have to let it go. hard lesson but serves well. Same with me. I have trouble learning and doing some things. never have before the last few years. Who knows. It gets to the point of being numb to things. life is about taking things away. Nothing we can do. 

anyway I hope things will ease up a bit for ya. hang in there and take good care.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Like I said, I discover more stuff every day.  It's overwhelming.  Now she says her hand is broke in several places.  I asked why she never said anything before as the hospital could have x-rayed it.  She said she was out of it in the hospital.  First time she's admitted that!  When my sister questioned her about it she told her she was exaggerating.  I don't appreciate that when she's unloading everything on me.  I do NOT think it's broken or she couldn't use it and it'd be swollen.  Perhaps arthritis, not much can be done about that but she could change her eating and give up seed oils, we both know that's not going to happen.  She's allergic to Nsaids so no Ibuprofen, etc.  She can take Tylenol, I haven't found it helpful but she can try it.  She doesn't use her hands much anyway.

Lack of cooperation is the most frustrating, she has always been that way, super stubborn, no common sense, but throw in dementia and wow!  I know you know...

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

Having a decent job, where you're appreciated and welcomed, never had that.

I'm sorry, I have had wonderful jobs all my life until the last one...he made it easy to retire!  Can't get respect or appreciation from a moron but I'm afraid there's no other way to put it.  So glad that's behind me!  At least you have your art work, thank God for that.  I used to, creative outlets are destressing.  Now with my hands I can't even do that.  I can't see well either, had to quit wearing my new glasses as my left eye hurts badly, it drove me nuts the nine days I tried them, I think the got the progressive in the wrong place, something is very wrong so will try to get back in, yay, another 120 mile round trip.

 

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

The taxman cant even reach them by phone and the tax office wont answer my emails. So the IRS owes dad just under 900 and I dont think he will ever see it. Taxguy says everything is filed and he has no idea what their problem is.

I know someone else going through the same thing.  They hold all the power but don't do their job and are inaccessible.  It's horrible and rotten of them!  Our gov't should be ashamed.  

I've been letting Kodie sleep with me as it's been too hot to put him in his crate in the back room, not enough fans to go around!  He's been wonderful and is so sweet and cuddly in the morning, I just hate to go back to crating him at night.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

   Hang in there. Your sister is a real handful. I hope you can find some time to relax and refresh.

My thought is that in the absence of normal function their minds just keep moving and grasping onto things. She is indeed blessed to have you. Do your best, can anyone else in the family pull their weight or is it best left to you?

Things are happening alot there. take it one at a time. be sure to breath. take your walks under the trees. Relax. I dont have trees so I do 30 minutes in the yard or find a video of a walk in the wood. 

Any endeavor is only as good as the people who run it. sadly taxes and medical care are just terrible. I called to get redo dad's appt because his doc is out on pregnancy leave early. was told no appts til Dec. Asked the service to send a msg could they squeeze him in just whoever needs to see him and let me know when. Got a curt voicemail to make an appt. But today magically a different lady found lots of appts. 

I give up on dads refund. Wouldnt be surprised if they decide he needs to pay more.

I bet Kodie likes the cool weather better. Sounds like a perfect puppy. Does he ever sing? saw a video of a lady who whenever she starts to sing her dog sings with her. Its cute. Maybe Kodie would behave if left out at night? Or would he get in trouble.

Hoping things have gone well. Seems several things every day here. Hopefully tomorrow will finish Dads Trust document and we can go to the Notary. I just hope his memory is good that day so they dont refuse him. I realise that by me making the Trust theres a chance of failure. But I dont see dad paying 1-2k for it. Will find out one day.

Oh, dad had his 2nd covid shot and seems no side effect at all. My brother and his wife had their 2nd and got side effects tho they didnt say what. But bad enough they cancelled sundays phonecall. Odd. 

My dad acts like he just doesnt care. It turns into a big guessing game of is something wrong, how serious, what needs to be done. you can lead a horse to water etc. 

Sadly, even tho I will try and be ready for a new job when dad passes im not fooling myself. Small chance. VERY hard to study and remember. Like the video I watched from the doctor who covrs narcissism. When you have the train of thought constantly running you just cant retain. Its like trying to study in the middle of a concert. I feel like my brain cant focus and order things properly. Do my best though.

I do refuse to give up trying to get back with the artwork. Its all i care about now. 

Take good care of you and your four-legged buddy. 

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, Kodie is perfectly well behaved in my house, I've been letting him sleep with me as it's too hot for the crate, no extra fans to point towards it.  He will still have to use a crate when we go to my son's.

I'm sorry the IRS has messed up your dad's refund, from what I've heard, he's not alone in it.  And they seem to be nigh impossible to reach.

Spent yesterday at my sister's, cleaning/lifting/carrying, washing.  Today my back hurts.  My hands were hurting last night and the day before, Kodie licked them, he's really sweet that way.

We got a lot cleaned out of her closet, some of the muck/grime cleaned, just a dent.  Can't donate anything right now so put boxes of stuff in the van, no one drives it.  Hoping St. Vinny's starts accepting donations again!  

Peggy does not cook for herself, she eats bologna or grilled cheese sandwiches unless I bring her food, which is the only healthy food she gets.  I had to throw away several dozen eggs yesterday as Bert ate them but not Peggy.  Don't know what she has against eggs, she's always been picky.

It will be nice to have time at home with Kodie today.  I tried to get Peggy to let me get her some groceries but she wouldn't, I heard my other sister tried also.  Sigh...she's gotten so big it'll be too hard to take her in the car if she keeps this up.  NO exercise, she sits there all day.  It wouldn't hurt her to try to do something for herself while she still can.  I'm wondering if she doesn't need a different antidepressant.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

you can lead a horse to water etc. 

Oh man, do I get that one!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hoing things are going better.

Hows peggy? Seems at some point elderly just lose credible touch with life. they can continue coping at a certain level but something is missing. If you cooked and put her some dinners in tupperware could she heat them up? 

When you described cleaning her place it reminds me of my dads garage and his den. I would really like to find a tool place to buy most of his things but he would never give them up. I realy wouldnt want him trying to work drills and tablesaws. There are so many small things here. Except for covid maybe we could have had an estate sale.

Hoping you had some relaxing time with kodie. Always good. stress and aches arent fun. I remember Mom had hand arthritis real bad, she had to stop painting too. never found anything that helped much. Hows the weather there, cool off any? We are near 100 or over for 2 weeks at least. No fun. 

Ive been putting off finishing the Trust but it has to be done. Im afraid the notary wont find Dad competent. He's pretty good some days but a few he slips, like cant remember how old he is. Also afraid that no matter how well I do it wont work, thats silly I guess but its what I have always been taught. 

Good news, Dad finally got his tax return check. He thinks hes rich, but on a two year return he got 800, paid 700 to have them done, and this year had to pay 200. I should have been a tax accountant.

Peggy sounds like my dad. Like cant initiate anything. if you suggest will she do? Or does she just not want to do anything? Even in younger people there can be  a gap between want to and do...I wonder if that becomes like a short-circuit with dementia in the elderly.

Take good care of yourself and kodie. Hope you get to rest and get rid of the aches and pains. take care.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah they really don't have a cure for arthritis.  I use Voltaren at night but can't use it in the day because Kodie wants to lick it off, I'm sure it's not good for him.

I think it's too upsetting for them to get rid of stuff while they're here.  Even though they don't use it, it's their "treasures," and makes them feel they don't have control over their own life.  They don't with dementia and other health issues but they don't need to FEEL that way.

Peggy is uncooperative, nothing is without a fight!  Sound familiar?  My mom wasn't cooperative either, but then they weren't before dementia, that only makes it worse.

I had the guy clean my roof, gutters, driveway "gutter" in front of carport last night, so nice to have it clean!  If I need it done again in the fall, so be it, that's when I usually have it done but it was unusually bad because of the branches/debris falling on the roof.  Also wanted the roof checked out for damage because I heard/felt something hit the house so bad three mornings ago I thought for sure it was crashing in!  Never found anything.  

So glad your dad got his check!  They should pay interest like they charge it!

I got a new appt for Peggy for her eyes for next Wednesday, sure beat waiting until the end of October!  She's already lost her sight in one eye and not a lot in her other eye.  My glasses didn't pass inspection again so waiting again for the third time!

If the notary doesn't find him competent, try another notary another day, maybe he'll do better then.  ;)  Peggy hasn't agreed to POA or bank account so the state will get her if something happens next time, and it will.  It's her choice, I can't "make" her anything.  She seems to think she can do what she wants, nope, too far gone for that.  On one level, I've seen her realize she's bad, but most of the time she's in denial.

Good luck with you in your dealings, trust me, I know how hard it is.  Peggy still won't hire a caregiver.  All she has to do is make a call but she won't, and doesn't want me to.  She's trying to hang on to her $.  Why?  I try to tell her it's there for HER.  She seems to think she needs to leave it to nieces/nephews who don't contact her or need it, no, it'll be long gone by the time she dies, the state will have it.  That's how her decisions are headed.

Friday I have to take her to the denturist and hang out all day in 100 degree weather, it'll be about 140 miles altogether, ugh.  

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Sorry Peggy is so difficult. it must be hard and confusing on her. They must be trying to do what they think best. maybe they feel threatened and dont see someone who loves them trying to do whats best. I think for my dad its not about whats best or safe, its just about his control. im sure that depresses him that he cant control anyone. And that he has issues doing things. Im guessing dementia only makes their personality worse at one point. 

Did you find out what hit the roof? maybe a big bird or something. Good it isnt damaged. We got hit by lightning one time. I walked into the kitchen and it was like steam. checked the attic and nothing on fire, some of the outlets didnt work til morning, but no permanent damage.

Sounds good getting some things cleaned up, bet you do get lots of leaves and branches. Im finding out theres so much to a home, apartments much easier. the pleasures of those nice trees. We have a couple neighbors cut theirs down. Should do that here as the shade is killing the grass.

Hoping you get some peaceful time for yourself and kodie. How is Kodie doing? Still growing? We had Boxers growing up, sweet dogs. 

I had this thought yesterday and it applies to you and Peggy as well of course . They are blessed to have someone watching over them. I can guess their lives now arent what they wish, but they cant change it now, they are here. But at least they have someone. In case no one else says it God bless and keep you my friend for all you do. 

My dad is slowly fading. I dont know if he doesnt want to or cant focus when hes alone. Some days he seemed ok but its like hes mesmerised and goes to another place. Im helping him a little more as he slowly weakens. he was chilly last night so went to bed a bit early. getting up and walking (walker) to the bathroom heated him up and I suggested he get up and walk a bit each day. He wont. i dont know if its from his narcissism or an inability from dementia or both...that he just doesnt do. maybe he forgets what there is to do. he loved building balsawood model planes. his tremors had ended that. But we ordered a couple kits for him and he was looking forward to it. But theyve been sitting on the floor. Im thinking he just has lot most of his ability to have initiative and/or make decisions. 

Take good care of yourself and Kodie. Hoping you get to relax a bit, you always seem so busy. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went through hell with her Wednesday, had to get her heavy walker in/out of the trunk six times, badly damaged my right forefinger in the process.  With her, it's never enough, she wants more and more and more and more from me.  I clean, cook, do laundry, drive her places, take her garbage out...her place is disgustingly filthy.  I told her I can't drive her anymore, it's a long ways, I put 174 miles on my car Wed. and had to go to the doctor about my finger Friday.  She told me I'm younger, so what, that makes me her slave?  I reminded her that at my age (and the last 28 years) she has sat in her chair.  She's never once helped me, she kept me from seeing my husband his last weekend on earth.  I reminded her that before she left Marquis, she said she'd hire a caregiver and she's done nothing.  She seems to think I'll just wait on her for life, giving up my life and health in the process.  Done, I can't do this, I'll be 70 next year and have much damage to my hands in strength and pain.

Kodie is full grown, stinking adorable, I took this picture of him this morning, I wish he'd smile for the camera but as much as he smiles, when the camera comes out, he get sober.

I'll be at my neighbor's taking care of her Husky 8/12-17, hoping/praying no fires get out of control, it'd be hard to load her up in my Civic along with Kodie and essentials!

Kodie 080821.JPG

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Peggy has become a sinkhole. I wholeheartedly agree, she needs a caregiver. You need your life and health back. Hows the finger? Hows your nerves. Hope you can get some rest and just sit for a bit, take a nice walk. Some people just take it until you're empty. My dad is like that, and why im very careful. If I did something one time he expected it every week. 

You folks have any fires close? Is it dirtying up your air? have read of the smoke blowing far across the country too. kodie is a good looking puppy. maybe thats a sultry look, like im adorable and you cant resist.

Do you have a bugout kit in case you need to leave in a rush? Put some essentials and water and food in the vehicle. 

In our hot and dry part of summer. The back yard is slowly dieing. I water 2x week but the ground is clay, I also wonder if its getting enough sun. Guess come Fall im reseeding it. 

the pic is several weeks old and its fuller now as more flowers have come up. You can see how bad the grass is getting. 

Take good care of yourself and kodie.  Stay safe.

 

denqplr-40e277be-0691-4f63-a421-c2b69352c8f7.jpg

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Beautiful, I miss having flowers but alas can't take care of them.  

Monday morning I woke up to a level 1 evacuation notice here (not at Peggy's yet) I told her to call 911 if she gets one.

I packed my car again.  Iris continues to plan on flying to MT for her dad's funeral, leaving me with her dog Jazzy (young Husky).  No one had offered me a place to bring her to (everyone's offer was for me and Kodie) if evac. 2 happens, and it very well could.  Personally, if it were me, I'd skip my dad's funeral rather than put this on someone else under extreme fire danger conditions, but I promised her two months ago.  She wants me to take HER car instead of mine, are you kidding me!  I told her my car is packed and I intend to take it.  She needs to take her important papers with her in a carry on and well ought to take her car and park it at the airport to keep it safe "in case" but she's never open to suggestions so what will be she will live with.  I can't take her stuff in addition to mine.  I'm leaving behind my tubs of photos, which pains me, but I can't lift them and frankly need to take essentials first like Rxs, vitamins, dogfood, etc.  I cleared a spot in the back seat for Jazzy.  I never have dogs on my black cloth seats but I'll make an except.  I promised her dog would be alive and well when they get back, nothing more!  I love Jazzy and could never allow harm to her.  

When I thought about it Monday, I realize I do not intend to continue helping Peggy in ways SHE could help herself, to do so is to enable, such as doing her dishes, doing laundry, emptying wastebaskets.  She's not helpless, her ribs are healed.  Nor am I going to do things she can hire done, I have my own home that badly needs dusting esp since the fire/ash/dust is thick.  No sense worrying about it right now until this settles down and after I'm back from Iris' 8/17 evening.  I pray they get a handle on the fires but there's so many they're battling in OR, crews are spread thin, also with them in CA and WA, we can't get the outside help we might otherwise count on.  I'm done cleaning up after Peggy so she can be a slob and throw garbage in the sink along with her dishes.  (A habit that has always been a pet peeve of mine.)

Do take care of yourself, try to hang onto any creativity you can as long as you can!  Caregiving takes everything within us.  I get calls from her neighbors all the time, although family is pretty quiet right now.  Funny how family disappears when you're inundated.

Here's a picture of the fire nearby, Kwiis, Knoll and many others nearby make up the Middle Fork Complex.  Two miles from here.
May be an image of fire and nature

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hope and pray ya'all are ok and somewhere safe, hows the situation? Ive only ever been at risk from tornadoes and hurricanes. this looks scary. Stay safe.

your neighbors seem to have prirorities a bit off. they should really appreciate you.

As well as peggy should. I agree with your thinking. you cant just take over everything. Besides which whatever she is capable of doing its going to be really good for her to do something instead of just sitting around...like my dad. You need some semblance of a life back, when they get those fires under control. Maybe time for a vacation to your son's house. 

My friend, I know life has been crazy and a whirlwind and so crowded. Stand still and just breathe. You'll get your peace back soon. 

My dad is about the same. Except he is forgetting how to use things, like the remote, the TV. he did order some things off amazon yesterday so thats a win. he bought a couple balsawood models to put together but has made little headway.

Im a coward, delaying the Trust and trip to the Notary. Doing it this week though. I need to clean up my list so i can concentrate on studying.

I am just unfocused, distracted by the insanity of this world. I feel a need to understand the truth, esp since my brother is the spinner of lies. I have to protect myself. Slowly working on some art and want to do much, need focus, more focus. 

The grass in the yard is slowly dieing. hard clay soil and the water just runs off. I think little soaks in. I prewater for ten minutes each zone but does little good. Tbh it needs the top 2 inches scraped off and replaced with good soil and resodded or seeded. the St Augustine grass needs more sun than it can get now. The trees have shaded so much of the day it cant get sun.

Oh well, add it to the list. 

take good care. Sending good wishes and prayers your way.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Returned home yesterday, evac. level lowered to 1.  Could go to 2 again as Gales is nearby my place as well, north of here (Fall Creek area up the McKenzie, it kind of parallels our Willamette, hard to tell sometimes as there's shoots off, we have the middle fork (of the Willamette) close by, I'm at First Creek.

I spent six days at my daughter's, she worked all but Sunday, she works long hours as she's in business for herself, doing pretty much everything, caregiving, cleaning, sorting/selling/getting rid of things, and working on a farm one day a week doing pretty much everything.  She never lacks for work.  I wish I could hire her, she's great, but she's well over an hour from me and always has jobs lined up.

Kodie was a real trooper.  Her cat is NOT used to dogs and decided to quarantine himself upstairs, however the last day he came down and was okay around Kodie.  Kodie never got within six feet of him or did anything to scare him, I was a proud mama!  He was an angel the whole time, yet I know it had to be hard for him because he was away from home, in the city where there's lots of stimulation/noise/people.  People walk their dogs right by the patio door!  He didn't understand why I didn't want him to bark at them but they sleep in later than I do and didn't want him to wake them up.  She lives in a beautiful area, and there are bike/walking paths that stretch clear across Eugene to Springfield, it goes for miles and miles, as I discovered one night when I got lost, I missed my turnoff and we walked a LONG ways across town, finally got a street sign and knew where I was and we hightailed it to get back before dark!  You do NOT want to be out past dark!  Funny because I'm used to the country, we can walk day/night, so long as you know what to do if you encounter wildlife. ;)  I'm more in my element in the country.  Most don't bother locking their doors, all the tweakers are in town, so no one to steal.

We got to meet up with my son's family Sunday, Melissa and I went out to eat and then got some groceries, then we met my son at Alton Baker Park so the dogs could be at the dog park.  There were no little dogs so I let Kodie go in with my granddoggy and some other large dogs, they all got along great!  Kodie's not afraid of them even if they're five times his size!  Peculiar since he's been attacked twice and it was traumatizing.  He's still nervous when he sees those dogs.

I had laptop problems when I was gone, turns out the control button was stuck and it caused all kinds of weird things, my formulas disappeared (Excel) in my budget (very intricate file I do NOT want to lose!) and I had to restore from a backup, some of my recipes deleted that I had on my laptop & backup, don't know what happened.  Most of the important ones I can get back from my Diabetic group IF I remember the name of them, may not, you have to query it just right.

I came home to my freezer thawed out and a mess everywhere, the refrigerator was okay, near as I can tell the door wasn't latched, good time to be away six days, right?!  I just turned everything colder, this morning the refrigerator was frozen so I turned it back down to regular setting.  I hope my eggs and what's left of the veggies haven't frozen!  Today I tackled the not-so-fun mess of cleaning out the freezer, getting rid of ice that was thick/solidified on everything!  Even got my bathrooms and kitchen floor cleaned!  Feeling industrious, have to act quick or the moment passes! ;)

Didn't get a lot of sleep, not used to their hours or people's noise.  But all in all it's a beautiful place in a gorgeous setting and I could see myself living there someday if I needed a low maintenance place...but I could never afford it on my own.  I'm used to living alone.  Would probably opt for Oakridge even if it does mean trips to Eugene.  Hopefully I can continue driving for many years to come or hire someone to do it for me when I become unable to.

What a week!  SO HAPPY to be home with my own kitchen and everything unpacked, I hate living out of suitcase/boxes heaped in a jumble in my car where I can't find anything, I am very organized but had to put things where they fit.

18 hours ago, Tachi said:

distracted by the insanity of this world.

Uh-huh!  I get it!  This world has changed into something I no longer recognize or like.  

Politics, lies, nasty people, scammers, no customer service, professionals that don't care about people, the list goes on and on.  Such a far cry from when I grew up and worked.  The last ten years especially.  We had a discussion about that in my other grief group and a guy suggested blowing a whistle into the phone for scammers.  I warned him it's illegal some places, he went off.  Hey, I don't make the laws but choosing not to believe or follow them doesn't exempt us...with my luck I'd be charged and they continue to get away with their scamming.  What did the gov't ever do about the "Do Not Call" list?  Nothing!

Peggy is in Portland staying with my blind sister, the other one picked her up and took her up there, she was evacuated right before me only I didn't know it until later.  They didn't let me know where she was until the next day, by that time I was worried as I didn't know WHERE she was!  Turns out a neighbor took her to some evac. center where she'd be expected to sleep on a cot, she could NEVER get up/down from a cot!  She needs a riser on the toilet, grab bars!  She demanded to be taken to a motel, she got the last disabled room!  The next morning my little sister picked her up and took her to Portland, by then she knew I was evacuated with my car full and Kodie with me.  It's been pretty crazy!

I chose to go to my daughter's as it's closer and I rarely get to see her, and feel more welcome there (my DIL is unwelcoming to me, I never knew why)...for instance when we saw them Sunday, she never spoke to me, not even when I wished her a Happy Birthday.  I don't talk to my  son about it, he's doing his best to make things work, he has a lot at stake in this marriage (his kids, his place) and high morals, I don't want to make anything harder on him, and I can't imagine living in his shoes...he's learned to pretend everything is okay, like his dad is in his marriage.  :(  If my son ever needed me, I'd be there in a heartbeat, same with my daughter.  We've always had an open door policy.

I know your life is hard with your dad and brother being like they are, I am so sorry, you deserve some peace and happiness to come your way and I pray it does someday, hopefully not too distant from now. :wub:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow your daughter has more energy than I can dream of. She got her work ethic from her folks I bet. Hope the fire is waning and you folks can stay at home. I cant imagine all that, esp in such a beautiful place.

kodie seems a very smart dog. more so than most. 

The city is a different place. Times have changed since I was a kid. I am no longer the explorer and keep my head on a swivel everytime I leave the house. 

Yep, those laptop buttons, have had that lesson a few times. My screen fram came apart months ago so i supergued it and dont move it. It came apart again so i superglued it and the text really messed up. After checking all i could I rebooted a couple times and all good. No idea what happened. need to check the hard drive and check for corrupted Windows files then i happy.

Isnt it soo good to see family? Sounds like a wonderful time.

Ugh, did the freezer break down or just an unlatched door? Did you lose all the food? I'm building an emergency pantry for the winter. Trying to get mostly dry and can goods in case we lose power. need firewood too hmmm

You needed a couple good nights sleep. Now you're home hopefully things be quiet for a bit. I bet kodie is happy to be home too.

Poor Peggy, Dad is same, needs bar etc. he tells me today he needs a porta potty by his bed. I asked why and he couldnt tell me. he wears diapers and has no control over his peeing. It catches his BMs too. the potty would have to be positioned a few feet from the bathroom door, maybe halfway. im going to suggest we move his bed where he will stand up and be a step away from the bathroom. he wont like it cause he doesnt like change or any idea thats mine.

hes had a pretty rough day. Seems his thinking hasnt been good, hes been napping for a bit and im inclined to let him sleep straight through but he needs to take his pills. He is so tied to habit. he could do some things just a bit different and make it alot easier but nope.

I noticed a change years ago but didnt understand. more and more people wouldnt have a civil discussion and couldt tell the truth. All gone these day. Ive talked to some good and upstanding people so theyre still out there but so many are just vile creatures. 

I just dont get people like your daughter in law. I understand that people can get so caught up in life and in their own hearts and minds. i dont think they know how to be real ith themselves let alone others. Seems they have to judge everyone. Well, always knew the world was an evil nasty place, it gets worse. One reason in a way im glad i dont work. And try and stay home my dad used to say im hiding when i was studying in my room. yea studying, gone out the window, need to evaluate and get after it. taking a few days off. The yard is dieing off. My theory is with clay soil and hard crust and I see the water doesnt get into the soil. Was recommended and I just got a liquid aerator and some shoe spikes. lol, So I strap em on and walk driving holes in the ground then spary this stuff on the soften and loosen the soil. then water. Supposed to help the water get down into the soil and grow the roots. 

Thank you. I feel like ive been stressed and anxious enough for so long the battery lost its charge and wont recharge. hard to focus, hard to see the big view. But im still trying and I wont ever quit. I appreciate the kindness of your words. its good to hear that, really is.

You two take good care of each other, hoping those fires get taken care of.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

She got her work ethic from her folks I bet.

You bet!  My kids knew to never say they were bored!  They knew mom and dad would find something for them to do and they might not like it, ha!  :D  But they appreciate the examples we set and everything we taught them, they were prepared for life, unlike many of their peers.  And both self-sufficient!

14 hours ago, Tachi said:

and keep my head on a swivel everytime I leave the house. 

I about lost my mouthful of coffee!  :D  Very apt way to put it!

14 hours ago, Tachi said:

Ugh, did the freezer break down or just an unlatched door? Did you lose all the food?

It must not have latched, six days of it trying it's best must have been very hard on it!  I had to clean everything out the next day, all was sticky, filthy, ice to clear out as I'd just shut the door when I got home and dealt with it later.  What a mess!  I have an outdoor freezer full of food so plenty in it, but just have to restock my larder.

I hear you on ER food, I haven't been able to get peanut butter at Winco for the last couple of months, no one to pick the crops or something, almonds expected to be scarce too, so I bought some almond flour off Amazon, priced a lot higher and I literally got eyestrain looking for the best deal, but got it ordered!  I can't be without them.  I do keep cheese in the freezer.  Most of what I eat is fresh...meat & vegetables, berries, so it's very hard to go without refrigeration!  I have a generator if the electricity goes out but it doesn't help if I'm not there to run it!

14 hours ago, Tachi said:

he wont like it cause he doesnt like change or any idea thats mine.

Oh, I HEAR you!  Peggy invented stubborn!

My DIL sent an email telling me she wants me to come babysit overnight so I'll miss church then, I hate that.  I feel I have nothing to look forward to except Kodie and church.  It's in a month.  I have foot surgery 9/2 and have been telling Peggy she needs to hire a caregiver to help her before then but now she's scheduled to see the eye surgeon 9/3 and no driver, it's 8:30 am and I'd have to leave my house at 6:30 to get her there in time but I feel it'll be way too painful for me, it's in a bad place right where all my shoes straps hit it even my slippers.  They'd done a scraping 6-7 weeks ago and that hasn't healed yet!  NOT looking forward to this.  If she reschedules it'll be Dec., she's let everything become emergent and can't wait that long.  Dealing with her has become very stressful and it seems the rest of the family is "mum's the word!"

14 hours ago, Tachi said:

But im still trying and I wont ever quit.

I love this, will keep reminding myself when I want to quit or run away!  At least the time at my daughter's was a bit of reprieve!  Wishing you well, I sure relate to everything you say and go through, hang in there!

Good day!.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...