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14 hours ago, Tachi said:

I did some reading on working out and drew up a new regimen.

Best to do something you can keep up doing, not aim for something unattainable on a regular basis.  Consistency is the important thing.

Huskies are quiet, that's another thing I like about them.  Arlie "talked," which I miss terribly, but Kodie is very quiet, rarely barks, he spins when excited, it's really cute, he sort of squeaks sometimes when excited.  The hounds in the neighborhood are the worst, 13 dogs sounds like 26!  One of the German Shepherds across the street is horrible with his incessant barking in the middle of the night, etc.  Bad enough in the day, but who lets their dog bark all night and won't bring them inside or shut them up!  Very inconsiderate IMO!

You are right about caregiving.  I have to take my sister to town (130+ mile round trip) every week for six months now!  Not looking forward to it, the time gone from Kodie, the wear & tear on my car & expense involved.  I gave her Ridesource information after Bert died but she won't contact them, she puts off everything, would rather dump everything on me.

Do any of the local banks have a notary?  Sometimes Real Estate places have one too.  

Wish I did not have to go on the highway today (granddaughter's birthday celebration) as yesterday there was a horrid three car head-on that killed three people and three are in the hospital, one left critical, another heading to jail after this.  The highway was closed for hours, backed up ten miles, clear to & across our town.  I was lucky to get home from church.  It's very sobering.

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Agreed, people who have dogs need to attend to them. maybe it doesnt bother them, they get used to it? No excuse. 

Can we send you our warm weather? mid to upper 80s and no rain. looks like summer is on the way. Absolutely love the cool nights and temperate days. The house gets so stuffy and sticky in summer. 

Found a notary who will accept my testimony of who dad is. now just have to go over and understand the Trust. Two documents...one assigns his possessions to the Trust and the other establishes the Trust and his and my roles. IF that works out is a huge relief.

Kodie sounds cute lol. maybe you should get him a kiddie pool for the heat of summer. I have no idea if it gets that hot for you folks.

Sounds like sis just loves being taken care of. dad has gotten that way but I dont mind because him trying to arrange anything is a nightmare. She is very blessed to have you. At some point I wish for you a nice vacation of peace and quiet.

Notaries...we went to the one at dads bank because they know him there. She had no idea what was going on. The bank mgr, who knows dad, came over and sat in. that was rather improper. She has always treated me as if im trying to cheat dad. Every time I get the strangest looks from her. the two of them had no idea about the POAs or the DNR. They marked on my DNR form, never mark on someones form. They did the POAs and refused the DNR because she didnt see the doctor sign it. I talked to the State of Texas and they were amazed they didnt do it. The notary doesnt need to see the doctor sign it, just my dad. They assured me the doctors office would have a notary, none do. I asked the lady at the Texas Office to email me a letter of how to do the DNR and mailed a copy to the notary at the bank. 

We went to my bank. That one had no idea what she was doing. On the form she signs twice, once for watching dad and a second time that the form was correct. State of Texas says thats how its done. She even called a notary hotline and they told her dont sign it. 

The form I was using was a standard form from the Tx Dept of health website. Its filled out and notarised no problem many times a day. the lady at the health Dept was amazed no one had a clue. When dad was in the hospital i talked to his social worker and she was amazed the notaries didnt understand. Honestly, i dont know how people get these things done. the Bank Mgr at dads bank even snidely asked me what atty created the form. i told it its from the Tx State Dept of health. People who think you have to have an atty for everything are people who can afford them. many things can be done without one. Altogether we will be saving dad a couple thousand by doing the forms myself. 

I rather suspect trouble from dads bank manager after he passes and I try and settle his estate. My name is also on all his accounts and the deposit box. I asked the banker if when he passes they would pass to me TOD and they said yes. Tbh I dont know whats wrong with these people. Ive killed a career and running down my life savings and making sacrifices to be here and take care of my dad. It is my responsibility to make sure the estate will handle properly as his wishes dictate. I am setting it up to follow his wishes. I am an honest and honorable man, it irks me to be treated that way.

Sorry, that bank...

I asked on the Ft Worth reddit and found a notary about 30-40 minutes away. they will come to the house on a saturday when we're ready at no charge. Im guessing theyre a social worker by their reddit name. I just hope dad doesnt have a bad day or they wont do it. 

Im tired of the stress and worry. i know you must get that too. Would be nice to go fishin. just sit under a nice shady tree with a basket of snacks and drinks and relax.

Wow be careful indeed. People think the car is a toy and just zoom around, drink and drive. It can have tragic consequences. i find I stay at home as much as I can. 

Take good care of yourself and kodie. find peace where you can and relaxation.

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Jazzy's mom has a wading pool for Jazzy & Kodie to play in but so far he won't go in it.  

It was 80s & 90s here, now it's cold again, I had to build a fire this morning, I was hoping to be done with that!  Had to haul some wood up on the deck.

A lot has happened this week, my sister Peggy fell, she walked somewhere she never should have, she knows she can't be on uneven ground, let alone attempt cobblestones!  Ambulance came & checked her, she went home.  She broke her dentures and glasses.  She hasn't made an appt. for new dentures yet but her old denturist retired, she hasn't been in for 20 years.  She has an appt. for her eyes (out of town, everything is 50-70 miles away), I was to take her on the 16th but it may be out until her ribs heal.  I made some homemade soup & took to her.  Will take her my blender too if she comes home, but she called me 6:30 am yesterday to tell me she's calling an ambulance.  When I called the hospital last night they still hadn't admitted her but she has several broken ribs, at least her nose is okay.  Family/neighbors want me to take her in but my house isn't set up for that, she's a large woman, would make more than two of me, she wouldn't be able to use my bathrooms, her walker is huge, it's hard for me to lift even, she can't use a bathtub or my shower as it's too small/flimsy for her, and no bars, she needs a place set up for it, my carpet all needs replaced & I have no help moving things so I have rugs everywhere.  Since she fell my BP went up 70 points!  I'd been doing so well on it.  I do NOT want to have a stroke or heart attack!  Peggy is resistant and stubborn to the umpth degree!  She does NOT want to contact gov't to utilize whatever services are available and puts up smokescreens that don't exist.  I may have to call Senior and Disabled to find out what's available.  All of this is taking all my time and energy, I'm exhausted from this week.  I worked the church' garage sale the last two days and need to take my car in to get the oil changed (60+ miles away) and get groceries (it's been three weeks, I'm out of everything) and visit her in the hospital tomorrow.  Poor Kodie, I don't like leaving him this much.  He's such a sweetie, he keeps my sanity right now...and always.

I don't know where Peggy's will/documents are, where she keeps her files/financial information.  Even after bringing it up to her she still hasn't told me.  If she passes, it'll be a nightmare.  You are doing well to get all this will/notary stuff done and I applaud your efforts!  Your dad has no idea how lucky he is to have you!  Shows he raised one of you right!

12 hours ago, Tachi said:

Would be nice to go fishin. just sit under a nice shady tree with a basket of snacks and drinks and relax.

Yes, doesn't it!  It sounds pretty remote right now.  How I miss George!  He loved to go fishing, and even though I'm allergic (can't touch/breathe/eat them) I'd go with him and just sit with him quietly out in nature, I love it, so peaceful!

And just one week ago I was worried about driving on Memorial Day to my son's...what a week, it seems like a year since.  Peggy doesn't remember being diagnosed with dementia.  Of course not! 

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I called and it took me hours to get Peggy...she sounds like Stage IV dementia, it terrified me!  I called back and talked to the nurse, she has no one listed as contact.  The nurse said she thinks it's 1948.  She talks nonsense, can't reach for words, doesn't answer questions, it's crazy!  She was fine the day before.  I asked if she's on some Rx doing that and they said no, that sometimes if someone is early dementia and out of their surroundings, it can do this but it should go back to normal if she's back in her surroundings.  She has a caseworker and has seen doctors, I don't know what their plans are.
When I got home after getting my oil changed (60+ miles away) I noticed a pool of oil when I moved the car so checked, there is NO OIL!  No light came on, nothing!  I spent the next few hours trying to get someone to help me, they finally called, I gave them hell, they're supposed to have someone up here to tow it away as of 11 minutes ago...still waiting.  They need to check the engine, also why no lights came on, and get to the bottom of their service problems.  Also bring me a car.
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hang in there, I know its crazy, but hang on. Address one thing at a time and breath. That oilchange place is just amazingly bad. Wonder if they disengaged the sensor or something, then didnt tighten the bolt, maybe it fell out. 

Did they check peggy for an infection, maybe urinary tract? Is she any better? Sounds like they need to list someone as contact. She doesnt seem to be able to make decisions for herself. 

George sounds alot like my Great uncle too. Fishing and just sitting in nature is soothing for body and soul. 

We are low 90s now. Our cool temps and rain is gone probably for the summer. Heat index over 100. next week a bit cooler so hope to get the grass seed done. I dont do well in the heat anymore.

Poor Kodie doesnt know what he is missing. maybe he will learn to enjoy a cool dip. You're doing so much, get what rest you can and make sure to eat. peggy sounds like my dad. he doesnt know what or where anything is nor does he care. He STILL hasnt gotten last year's income tax return yet. his man filed this years and the IRS cashed his check but cant seem to process the return from last year. 

Sayin a prayer for you and Peggy, smooth transition and solving problems. I wish there was someone there to help you. Sounds like Peggy or you for her need to do some things she isnt ready for. Do you have her POA? that would help. 

Spending alot of time doing things for dad, like repairing his TP holder he broke and trying to get his docs office to see if they gave him antibiotics. Finding out he had bacteria in his urine and they want to take care of it. Just didnt bother to let us know. 

My dad has eaten tacos for decades. Mom got the shells and kits at the store. hard and crispy corn shells. last time I made tacos he commented he didnt like em because the shells were too crispy. So tonight I ordered delovery and got some good mexican food that was a sandwich on flatbread and one on a cornmeal flatbread and tasted like a taco. Chicken and one was brisket. i thought they were good, dad didnt. he opinioned that he wanted 'real' tacos and no one makes 'real' tacos anymore. I explained they do but he doesnt like em because he complained they were crispy. he doesnt like flour tortillas. never ever seen a soft corn tortilla and I explained this to him. he 'remembers' a soft corn tortilla taco or just has an idea they shouldnt be crispy and crunchy? I dont even try with this stuff anymore cause it doesnt exist except in his mind and I dont care to chase a ghost, because nothing will ever be good enough. I guess from now on theres no more trying new things to give him variety. Ill just get him his old standbys of Whataburger and Chick Fil A. 

Going to go watch a movie with dad. take good care of yourself, Hope the rest of the week looks up.

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14 hours ago, Tachi said:

Sounds like they need to list someone as contact.

They have me on file, she must have given them my info last time.  I have literally been bombarded with phone calls and emails! (family, friends, neighbors...all inquiring and telling me what I should do!)  Day 4 one told me I need to go clean out her fridge...it's not going to hurt anything this soon!  I get groceries every two weeks and rarely throw away food.  Last time it was three weeks before I got groceries as I was busy dealing with her.  Even then she wanted me to do stuff. 

That was the day of the car fiasco.  The dealership lied to me, said everything was fine, told me to come pick up my car, so it took me over four hours, rush hour traffic, shouldn't have taken over 2 1/2.  I think they were covering up.  My son said if it sucked air the bearings could go bad. I have five years left on my warranty, I should know by then. ;)  Can't go up against a big corp. like them.  This has been a week from hell.

Then dealing with my sister Polly, upset that I "didn't tell her"...I did, I reminded her it was in a group email for the siblings.  I know she read it because she remembered the doctor's name.  Julie thinks Polly has dementia starting, it looks that way.  Can't deal with her, she's the one that yells at me over the phone when she's stressed.  All I need is more family!

14 hours ago, Tachi said:

Did they check peggy for an infection, maybe urinary tract?

They have checked her for everything, I gave permission for them to give her an epidural for pain.  They said she's not capable of making decisions for herself and they're supposed to come up with a plan for her before she can be moved, she needs 24 hour care.  She has 6 broken ribs.  She's told everyone something different but I got that from the doctor.  It takes me hours to get through to her because she can't reach to answer the phone so it just rings, no matter how many times I tell them they have to take the phone TO her.  She does not want us to visit her.  A neighbor did visit her yesterday, haven't talked with her yet, she's very invasive/controlling, so not looking forward to more exchange with her.  (Refrigerator monitor).

She has no POA and isn't capable of making one now.  It's too late, the state will likely take over and take her home.  I need to get some clothes out for her and Bert's ashes for safekeeping.  I told Polly they can come get family heirlooms if they want, all I want to make sure of is Bert's ashes are okay.  I told her on the off-chance Peggy returns to a better mental state and is able to return home with a caregiver, they can bring her "treasures" back. 

It's a mess.  I intend to make my son POA and put him on my bank account before I get like this!  All I know to do is prepare and take as good care of myself as I can.  None of us can be assured we won't get dementia someday, all we can do is help the odds the best we can.  Never have I seen someone go from 0-100 so quickly!  The nurse said it's trauma-induced escalation.  She was diagnosed four years ago but she had it years before that but she was semi-functional until this last fall.

I just got a recipe for Keto Empanadas this morning but who knows if he'd like them.  I'm sorry it's such a struggle, it's like arguing with an inanimate object for all the further you get.  Very frustrating, I know!  Can't argue, just agree, then do whatever.  Good luck to you, I keep you & your situation in my prayers too. :wub:

Keto Ground Beef Empanadas


·         Dough:

·         1 1/2 cups mozzarella

·         3 oz cream cheese

·         1 1/4 cup almond flour

·         1 egg

·         Filling:

·         1 lb ground beef

·         1/2 cup chopped onion

·         1/4 cup chopped green olives (if desired)

·         1 tsp each: chile powder, cumin, smoked paprika

·         1 tbsp olive oil

·         1/3 cup salsa of choice


1.   Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2.   In a pan over medium heat, cook onions in 1-2 tbsp olive oil until slightly softened. Add in ground beef and break up with a spatula. Season meat mixture with chile powder, cumin and smoked paprika. Cook until browned. Add in salsa of choice and olives if using. Set aside.

3.   While meat is cooking, add mozzarella and cream cheese to a bowl and microwave for one minute. Take out and stir well, then put back in the microwave for another minute. Stir well.

4.   Add egg to mozzarella and cream cheese mixture and mix well. Then add in the almond flour and combine well again.

5.   Roll the dough flat with a rolling pin or with a piece of plastic wrap on top and use a wine bottles. Once you’ve rolled it flat, about 1/4″ thick, use a bowl to cut circle shapes.

6.   For excess dough, form into a ball then roll out again and repeat the process until all the dough has been used.

7.   Lay on a lightly greased cooking sheet, parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.

8.   Place a two spoonfuls of meat mixture into each circle on one half and then fold the other half over. Make sure to press down firmly on the edges. You can also slightly roll the edges to make sure they’re together well or use a fork to gently push down the edges.

9.   Once you’ve made all the empanadas, cook at 425 degrees for 12 minutes until starting to turn golden brown.

4 net carbs




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  • 2 weeks later...

How are ya holding up? Id hate being bombarded like that. Standing rule should be if people want to tell ya what to do they have to come help. never works like that. Tune em out.So how is your sister? Such a mess and so much falls on you. Prayers for you always. you need some peace in all this. I'm working on dads Trust and think I have it almost done. Then have a notary who says they will come over. They're also a social worker so kind of shy at having one in. I hope my dad doesnt have a bad day. He's been pretty good this week. mostly just trouble figuring out how remotes and phones work. 

Thanks for the recipe, going to the store in a few days and want to try it. I think im done ordering food in. Got KFC wings for dad last night and they were horrible. I make better.

Hope to have nice wildflower pics for next time. One bed did real well and the others arent growing so guessing they dont get enough sun. Morning glories are taking over their part of the yard. I may be bold and try some seed in pots even tho we are in the 90s daily. 

I have to wonder how early the seeds of elder diseases begin. I know I should have taken much better care of myself starting decades ago. people just dont understand. you can tell them but they wont listen. Ive read dementia isnt hereditary so hopefully it will pass you by. All we can do is what we can do. just take good care of yourself. i know that I can do better and I will.

how is kodie doing? Good you have such a sweet pup, I know it helps.

Oh, addition to my PB&J sandwich

I toast 7 grain bread

PB on one side and Hazelnut spread  on the other

drizzle honey, add jelly and some banana slices

it falls all over the place but I think im addicted.

take good care


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There is the old adage, "If I'd known I'd have lived this long, I would have taken better care of myself!"  I think most of us can say that. 

It's been insane the last 18 days!  Not hearing from Loose Lips Wanita anymore, which is fine by me.  Do not need her "advice."  

Social worker told me we'd have a telephone conference tomorrow and if anyone else wanted in on it (my other two sisters do) they could call her and she'd conference them in.  Older one called it a zoom call (it's not) so my little sister was going to go to her house to be in on it so I left a msg with the social worker asking if it's phone or zoom since she'd told me phone.  She called back and said it's not zoom and she hasn't heard from my other sisters and she can't conference anyway!  (She had distinctly told me she'd set it up).  She said I am the only one she can talk to since I am the contact.  (That is NOT what she'd told me last time!).  I am getting fed up with getting conflicting information from all of these people, doctors, nurses, social workers, caseworkers, my older sister, etc.  

Peggy's electrical needs worked on and she has thus far refused to call someone, even though I provided her with names of some reasonable providers here 1-2 months ago.  Everything she owns is filthy as her dryer outlet doesn't work.  I brought home all of her laundry and washed it, two trips up/down the mountain each time.  I went to get her mail yesterday and neighbor who holds it for me (we'd agreed upon Sundays after church) was not there.  I am so tired of putting wear/tear on my car plus the time everything is costing, so that I don't have time to do what I need HERE!   Peggy sounds better but still showing dementia, of course.  I'm afraid they won't let her come home and she will give up and die.  I've impressed upon her repeatedly, the need to do her best for them so they will let her come home.  Of course, that is buying time for the day will come when she will have to be institutionalized unless she dies first...my prayer as I know she wants to be in her home.  I've been talking to her about needing a caregiver/housekeeper, I hope she is warming up to the idea.  It does bother me, though, that because she fell and hurt herself the gov't is now involved and gets to have complete control!  It doesn't seem right.  They are trying to make her walk on uneven ground, which I do not agree with...had they shown an interest in that when she was in her 20s it might have helped, she is 77 and an old one at that, I feel it's too late and inviting trouble.  MY GOAL is to help her respect her limitations so she does not continue to fall!  Her mental capacity and lack of judgement is her greatest handicap.

I do hope you reach a point where you feel good about what you're doing about your health, 60s seems a benchmark for sure!  I am thankful for the last 1 1/2 years and the changes I've made in myself and my life.  It  showed up in my eye exam!  New glasses costing over $900!  I'm fortunate to have to only pay $333 after insurance!  I requested but have not yet received an itemized receipt, call me curious!


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  • 2 weeks later...

Hope youre well, and Kodie too. have you been having the crazy hot temps? We missed the rain so im listening to rain on Youtube. 

'Loose Lips Wanita' lol good shes leaving you alone. Maybe she in a way understands. Or just got distracted. Told my brother I didnt get the covid shot when Dad did and he didnt go haywire, he must be tired. California hasnt been sending him his unemployment and hes hurting. his new job is contingent on getting an FDA security clearance so he may be awhile.

Somehow youre supposed to understand whats going on and navigate a treacherous field when they keep changing the rules. The system is just broken. Hang in there, do the best you can. There will be a resolution.

I think you're right. No uneven ground. Respect limitations and live the best Life possible under those limits. Will be praying for her. Sounds like she just needs a tad bit of clarity. The govt works only to satisfy their metrics and rules and not to help people. Ive given up on them.

I'm also praying for you. I know youre tired and you hurt, hang on. Hoping you can get all that settled and then relax with your own life.

I keep reminding myself we are only buying time with Dad. I almost have his Trust done and then we can get it and his dnr notarised, I hope. dad got a new phone, a greatcall android. Seems a bit easier than the old android. He only needs to make calls but hes going thru the manual, reading how to do it all and breaking it daily. he keeps hitting the 5star emergency button. He is accidentally doing things because he lets his fingers get close to the screen. Im writing him a couople cheatsheets on how to work it. I wonder if he would enjoy a tablet with some basic games on it.

My health...my body still responds well to exercise, tho slowly and it feels good. But im mentally weak and skip days. I need to eat cleaner and I have trouble focusing but I might be able to help that. 

Ive been looking at dads bills from the hospital and his Insurance. Its odd to me how medicare etc limits how much they can charge and then pays their share. So if you didnt have Ins you paid the full charge, that seems wrong. My Dads old doctor gave him a handful of back pain brochures and remarked he could then bill for a back exam. Its just one big scam and they jack charges up to bilk the insurance. Thats life.

Take good care of yourself, hoping things settle down for you. Good thing you have Kodie to scratch behind his ears. 

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It was 122 in Oakridge, it's NEVER been that hot here!  It was 96 inside my house that night.  It was hard surviving it, truly miserable.

I've learned a lot about Peggy in the last month.

  • She needs to respect her limitations.  Regardless of what horrid Marquis says.
  • She let her checks run out and didn't order new ones.
  • She didn't pay her electric bill last month.
  • She didn't take care of her electrical problems, instead she opted not to do her laundry again, leaving it for me to do.
  • She hasn't cleaned her house since Bert died except to run a vaccuum once or twice (it's been nine months).
  • She hadn't done her dishes.
  • She hadn't cleaned out her refrigerator or taken out her garbage.
  • She is disorganized.  You can't find past check registers, a budget, her taxes are all thrown helter skelter into a cupboard, no order.
  • Her closet is so full of clothes that don't fit you literally cannot fit another hanger into it!  She's out of hangers.
  • Her garage is like a hoarders, everything thrown into it, do not know what this stuff is, can't lift it, no rhyme or reason to it.
  • The boat and motor she sold and received payment for, the motor is missing.

On and on it goes.  I'm bringing her home tomorrow.  She'd planned on staying there until her oxygen level is 90 (it's 89), I bought her a pulse oximeter and blood pressure monitor and she will come home with oxygen.  She was going to let them strongarm her into staying until it's down but that makes no sense.  She can do oxygen just as well at home as there.  

  • They broke hippa laws with loose lips Wanita.
  • They fed her tomato soup for dinner six days in a row (she hates red sauce).
  • They brought her salads and steak she can't eat without dentures, they'd been appraised she needed a soft food diet.
  • Sunday they didn't bring her morning medicines until just before dinner, then brought her evening ones two hours later.  That could kill someone!  They were short staffed because of the heat.  WHAT!!!  They needed to order people to work for threat of their job.  No excuse!
  • They tried to get her to walk on uneven surfaces, a NO for her!  If someone was to work with her on that they should have done it fresh after her injury when she was 23, not when she's 77 and every time she falls she breaks something!  She has no equilibrium.

I see her coming home as temporary, because she's worsened.  Her biggest handicap is not her equilibrium it is her lack of common sense, and that's been life long, but is worsening.  I talked to her about putting me on as POA and signer on her bank account.  She also needs to point out where crucial things are (will, etc.).  So hard to get anywhere with her!  I told her me doing her laundry the rest of her life is not a permanent solution.  

I pretty much don't have a life anymore.  Welcome to your world, huh?!

On 6/29/2021 at 10:04 PM, Tachi said:

So if you didnt have Ins you paid the full charge, that seems wrong.

Absolutely!  And I read that Biden and Trump took off the table lowering Rx overcharging!  I cannot understand that whatsoever.  We've been gouged in America way too much.

You're right about medical bilking insurance.  I'm fed up with shyster doctors and drug companies.

I have been letting Kodie sleep with me so the fan hits us rather than in his crate in the back room.  He does really well with it.  He means the world to me, my bright spot in my life.  ;)

I totally relate to what you say about buying time, I get it, that's how I feel too.  I want Peggy to enjoy her life at home as long as she can but I can't "make" her do the right things, only work on her.  I understand your frustrations, I'm there too.

Keep taking care of yourself, it's the one thing we can control and it helps us, win/win!

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/30/2021 at 10:41 AM, kayc said:

   Sounds like she does need someone to run her life. maybe she needs to be in a facility. But then I dont know about such things. Seems Life keeps throwing situations with no easy answers. It is the worst to be trying to help them and they fight it or dont offer any help. My dads financial affairs were bad. There are still things I dont know and have no one to ask. At least she has you to help her. I cant understand health professionals who dont care. I just dont. If I were an attorney I would be a very busy man. And I would be a target because I would be honest.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you both. Somehow peace and some order must come from this. hand in there, pray, and breath. Hope somehow you find some time for yourself. Oasis of calm. 

I always have said as long as I can do my artwork and have the basics of life covered im happy. Having a decent job, where you're appreciated and welcomed, never had that. I dont need anything fancy or extra or expensive. just be safe and alive and do artwork. i just have such a hard time learning that and doing it. I have questioned myself so many times. That something is wrong with me. but after long enough the question fades and you just shrug your shoulders.

I guess we dont get much choice in Life. So with what we have we do our best. 

My current view is that the entire game is rigged and people are getting rich and fat off of us. Im certainly not getting anything. 

The IRS sent another letter addressed to Mom saying they need 60 more days to decide how to answer her request. In other words they havent even looked at her file and are just stalling. The taxman cant even reach them by phone and the tax office wont answer my emails. So the IRS owes dad just under 900 and I dont think he will ever see it. Taxguy says everything is filed and he has no idea what their problem is. I wonder if they didnt lose his return.

Kodie should get an award. Such a good pup. Too bad you cant teach em to cook and clean.

I used to get so frustrated with dad. My best friend pointed out that we do just so much then ya have to let it go. hard lesson but serves well. Same with me. I have trouble learning and doing some things. never have before the last few years. Who knows. It gets to the point of being numb to things. life is about taking things away. Nothing we can do. 

anyway I hope things will ease up a bit for ya. hang in there and take good care.


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Like I said, I discover more stuff every day.  It's overwhelming.  Now she says her hand is broke in several places.  I asked why she never said anything before as the hospital could have x-rayed it.  She said she was out of it in the hospital.  First time she's admitted that!  When my sister questioned her about it she told her she was exaggerating.  I don't appreciate that when she's unloading everything on me.  I do NOT think it's broken or she couldn't use it and it'd be swollen.  Perhaps arthritis, not much can be done about that but she could change her eating and give up seed oils, we both know that's not going to happen.  She's allergic to Nsaids so no Ibuprofen, etc.  She can take Tylenol, I haven't found it helpful but she can try it.  She doesn't use her hands much anyway.

Lack of cooperation is the most frustrating, she has always been that way, super stubborn, no common sense, but throw in dementia and wow!  I know you know...

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

Having a decent job, where you're appreciated and welcomed, never had that.

I'm sorry, I have had wonderful jobs all my life until the last one...he made it easy to retire!  Can't get respect or appreciation from a moron but I'm afraid there's no other way to put it.  So glad that's behind me!  At least you have your art work, thank God for that.  I used to, creative outlets are destressing.  Now with my hands I can't even do that.  I can't see well either, had to quit wearing my new glasses as my left eye hurts badly, it drove me nuts the nine days I tried them, I think the got the progressive in the wrong place, something is very wrong so will try to get back in, yay, another 120 mile round trip.


13 hours ago, Tachi said:

The taxman cant even reach them by phone and the tax office wont answer my emails. So the IRS owes dad just under 900 and I dont think he will ever see it. Taxguy says everything is filed and he has no idea what their problem is.

I know someone else going through the same thing.  They hold all the power but don't do their job and are inaccessible.  It's horrible and rotten of them!  Our gov't should be ashamed.  

I've been letting Kodie sleep with me as it's been too hot to put him in his crate in the back room, not enough fans to go around!  He's been wonderful and is so sweet and cuddly in the morning, I just hate to go back to crating him at night.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

   Hang in there. Your sister is a real handful. I hope you can find some time to relax and refresh.

My thought is that in the absence of normal function their minds just keep moving and grasping onto things. She is indeed blessed to have you. Do your best, can anyone else in the family pull their weight or is it best left to you?

Things are happening alot there. take it one at a time. be sure to breath. take your walks under the trees. Relax. I dont have trees so I do 30 minutes in the yard or find a video of a walk in the wood. 

Any endeavor is only as good as the people who run it. sadly taxes and medical care are just terrible. I called to get redo dad's appt because his doc is out on pregnancy leave early. was told no appts til Dec. Asked the service to send a msg could they squeeze him in just whoever needs to see him and let me know when. Got a curt voicemail to make an appt. But today magically a different lady found lots of appts. 

I give up on dads refund. Wouldnt be surprised if they decide he needs to pay more.

I bet Kodie likes the cool weather better. Sounds like a perfect puppy. Does he ever sing? saw a video of a lady who whenever she starts to sing her dog sings with her. Its cute. Maybe Kodie would behave if left out at night? Or would he get in trouble.

Hoping things have gone well. Seems several things every day here. Hopefully tomorrow will finish Dads Trust document and we can go to the Notary. I just hope his memory is good that day so they dont refuse him. I realise that by me making the Trust theres a chance of failure. But I dont see dad paying 1-2k for it. Will find out one day.

Oh, dad had his 2nd covid shot and seems no side effect at all. My brother and his wife had their 2nd and got side effects tho they didnt say what. But bad enough they cancelled sundays phonecall. Odd. 

My dad acts like he just doesnt care. It turns into a big guessing game of is something wrong, how serious, what needs to be done. you can lead a horse to water etc. 

Sadly, even tho I will try and be ready for a new job when dad passes im not fooling myself. Small chance. VERY hard to study and remember. Like the video I watched from the doctor who covrs narcissism. When you have the train of thought constantly running you just cant retain. Its like trying to study in the middle of a concert. I feel like my brain cant focus and order things properly. Do my best though.

I do refuse to give up trying to get back with the artwork. Its all i care about now. 

Take good care of you and your four-legged buddy. 



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No, Kodie is perfectly well behaved in my house, I've been letting him sleep with me as it's too hot for the crate, no extra fans to point towards it.  He will still have to use a crate when we go to my son's.

I'm sorry the IRS has messed up your dad's refund, from what I've heard, he's not alone in it.  And they seem to be nigh impossible to reach.

Spent yesterday at my sister's, cleaning/lifting/carrying, washing.  Today my back hurts.  My hands were hurting last night and the day before, Kodie licked them, he's really sweet that way.

We got a lot cleaned out of her closet, some of the muck/grime cleaned, just a dent.  Can't donate anything right now so put boxes of stuff in the van, no one drives it.  Hoping St. Vinny's starts accepting donations again!  

Peggy does not cook for herself, she eats bologna or grilled cheese sandwiches unless I bring her food, which is the only healthy food she gets.  I had to throw away several dozen eggs yesterday as Bert ate them but not Peggy.  Don't know what she has against eggs, she's always been picky.

It will be nice to have time at home with Kodie today.  I tried to get Peggy to let me get her some groceries but she wouldn't, I heard my other sister tried also.  Sigh...she's gotten so big it'll be too hard to take her in the car if she keeps this up.  NO exercise, she sits there all day.  It wouldn't hurt her to try to do something for herself while she still can.  I'm wondering if she doesn't need a different antidepressant.

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11 hours ago, Tachi said:

you can lead a horse to water etc. 

Oh man, do I get that one!!!

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Hoing things are going better.

Hows peggy? Seems at some point elderly just lose credible touch with life. they can continue coping at a certain level but something is missing. If you cooked and put her some dinners in tupperware could she heat them up? 

When you described cleaning her place it reminds me of my dads garage and his den. I would really like to find a tool place to buy most of his things but he would never give them up. I realy wouldnt want him trying to work drills and tablesaws. There are so many small things here. Except for covid maybe we could have had an estate sale.

Hoping you had some relaxing time with kodie. Always good. stress and aches arent fun. I remember Mom had hand arthritis real bad, she had to stop painting too. never found anything that helped much. Hows the weather there, cool off any? We are near 100 or over for 2 weeks at least. No fun. 

Ive been putting off finishing the Trust but it has to be done. Im afraid the notary wont find Dad competent. He's pretty good some days but a few he slips, like cant remember how old he is. Also afraid that no matter how well I do it wont work, thats silly I guess but its what I have always been taught. 

Good news, Dad finally got his tax return check. He thinks hes rich, but on a two year return he got 800, paid 700 to have them done, and this year had to pay 200. I should have been a tax accountant.

Peggy sounds like my dad. Like cant initiate anything. if you suggest will she do? Or does she just not want to do anything? Even in younger people there can be  a gap between want to and do...I wonder if that becomes like a short-circuit with dementia in the elderly.

Take good care of yourself and kodie. Hope you get to rest and get rid of the aches and pains. take care.

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