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I had some doubts dad could do 3 hours a day. now we have an issue with his neurologist overmedicating him. he doubled his med. Didnt have a problem with the original dose but doubling it makes him sleep all day and hes turning into a zombie. I tried talking to his neuro office and they tried to gaslight me. Calling again tomorrow and sending a certified letter to his neurologist. hadnt been able to get reliable info from the hospital. I have the poa and they have a copy so no clue. way this is going dad wont be able to rehab, and will end up in a nursing home a zombie. I have never been as angry in my Life. 

It seems just sitting in bed cannot engage the mind. Its hard enough to focus but when theres nothing engaging they just fall asleep or go into a vegetative state. 

Sorry you got hurt again. Hope you feel better soon. You do need a break from the injuries. I would guess that if a dog bites one person theyre unsafe. We had boxers and schnauzers and the boxers at least were loving dogs. their worst offense was farting.

Did the owner at least pay your hospital bill? Good you made it to the hospital and home again. 

I want you to know I really appreciate your kindness and friendship. I realised today I am really alone here. Altho I may be making friends with an eldercare atty soon. Stinks getting old doesnt it? 

At least kodie is ok. Thats a tough dog wanting to protect you. hes too small tho. I think you need a few weeks of peace and quiet. Watch the leaves turn. Watch em fall. 

What i was thinking yesterday. I was raised by a narcissist, who taught me that im never good enough and always fail. Who hoarded the knowledge and didnt teach me much. Well, now I all of a sudden need to know all these things and need to be able to navigate these people and systems with a proper level of firmness so they pay attention. I have two gears, bellyup and war. Ive been trying to learn the middle way. But rt now I see the neuro med either killing or sending my dad as a zombie to a nursing home. This is a hill im happy to die on. Needing to do this and having to wait cranks my anxiety, so heres a lesson for me to learn.

You have always seemed centered and understanding. like nothing upsets or rattles you and you can take the appropriate action. I admire that. 

Heres tonights visiting dad:

I go in and hes twisting in bed trying to get his gown off. I try to straighten it to discover hes peed on it. So I tell the nurse and ask her for a new gown. theyre waiting for a second nurse so they can change gown and pads but I wanted to get him fixed. I roll him over to remove the pad only to fins he did a number 1 and a 2. nice. Then the nurses came in and fixed him up. i watched and asked in case I have to do that one day. i fed him and halfway tghru he started falling asleep. So i left. he really needs them to adjust that med. 

I will say honestly that i sincerely pray I never have to be in the hospital. At this point i know life wise im out of luck. but i will take care of my dad until the end. 

Ok im rambling, please take good care

heres another one


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12 hours ago, Tachi said:

Did the owner at least pay your hospital bill?

It's my son and he will pay whatever the ins doesn't.  I need to see my doctor as the largest laceration the glue did not work, it was still bleeding.  I put Neosporin on it and a bandage meanwhile, couldn't remove the gauze until this morning.

I agree with you on your dad, seems the Neur. should listen!

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

Stinks getting old doesnt it? 

Yes, it sure can.  I know many 20 years older that don't have to deal with what I do.  But then, I'm a survivor.  

Kodie will always mean the world to me.

I'm glad you're making friends with someone, sometimes it comes in unexpected places!

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

Watch the leaves turn. Watch em fall.

I had to smile att this.  I kind of get that when Kodie and Jazzy have their playdates.  It gives me an hour to sit and watch the nature around me, they live on the most beautiful piece of property!  They have their own gorge, sunrises, sunsets, trees, rushing water, they have it all.

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

You have always seemed centered and understanding. like nothing upsets or rattles you and you can take the appropriate action.

Saturday I was anything but, I was in shock and freaking out, I had to pull myself together for my grandkids sake, Ceci is six, Vincent is four.  HE was the calm one!  Just like his dad.  God I miss my son living here, it's been years, we always got along so well and could talk about anything, but I also miss my daughter, my ray of sunshine.  Such wonderful people!  I can't believe I raised them, they got the best of the genes on both sides!  Keepers, both of them.  I don't get to see/talk to them enough, it's rare anymore.  Always working.  Your dad is lucky to have you, you gave up your life for him!  Who does that?  You do, I don't know anyone else.

I'm glad you were there at the right time for your dad.  Hospitals are the pits.  Even  emergency rooms.  I hate going to the doctor even.

Thank you for sharing the video!  I hope today is better for you.  I'm in a lot of pain, have some numbness in the dogbite also, not good, indicative of nerve damage, although their "report" shows none, WTH!  They didn't test/question me for it!  He wrotte down that I had a lot of arthritis for my age, yeah, if he'd asked, it's from the dogbite I suffered with Joe 6/19/20 and also the Dermatologist did damage there when she whacked on me removing something she suspected cancerous, turns out it was all for naught, took months to heal, now a lot of scar tissue from the trauma.  Yep wouldn't you know, got bit there again!  Sometimes I feel I don't stand a chance.


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quick response and more later. 

Last resort i guess you could clean it then use some superglue, can you try butterfly bandages if you have them?

Ah, yours son's dog, never mind, he will take care of things. 

Finally some answers, his nurse today is so amazing. She is smart, compassionate and proactively trying to help Dad. She showed me his charts and when his neurologist came by asked him to call me, dad has faded since tghursday. he is always sleeping and somewhat lethargic. His neuro doc says he seems a bit down but was responsive to him and did all his tests, just a bit lethargic. But they ran more tests and no UTI or anything wrong. he says dad is just showing his age and his Parkinsons. And I have to remember Dad doesnt really like me. So hes not going to perk up for me. In fact yesterday he said I could take the day off today and not visit, gee. Doc said get him in rehab and we will see if he perks up a bit.


maybe your hand has some numbness from the shock of the injury? maybe give it a few days and see if it gets better in that regard. I think you should get a body bubble for protection :)

Well you kept enough composure to do what you needed to do and you made it home. Its not about being cool and calm maybe, maybe its about freaking out but keep cool enough to take care of things. In case no one has said it no more injuries this week. take the week off.

No idea what these are esp the tall one, which has never flowered. Im needing to clean up the yard . havent done any studying for a couple weeks, need to get back so bad. 

well you did very well with your kids. be proud indeed. 

You and Kodie take care




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It reminds me of my mom's dianthus "pinks" only I remember them being a little fuller, w/o breaks between petals.  They smelled good, like carnations kind of, do these have an odor?

Went to doctor's yesterday, three of the 8 wounds (one that we missed) are not glued, including the largest one on the knuckle, it'll take forever to heal, can't get it wet or lift anything.  Friends came up and got wood on my patio for me, had to build a fire, temps dropped 40 degrees this week!

Being a Narcissist, they don't seem capable of love, not their fault except if they'd get professional help maybe there's something they can do for them, don't know, but too late now.  :(  They're pretenders, copy others' emotional responses to appear normal, but that's all it is, fake.  They can imitate pretty good but don't always choose to.  Not great dads or husbands.  My XH John (the con) was this way.  When he left me his daughter's letters and his dad's police badge were in my storage, he never bothered to pick them up on his way through town although I'd told him he and his GF could get them while I was at work, just don't go in the house.  Shows when it came down to it those things meant nothing to him.  Narcissists are different.  I'm sorry you've never gotten the feedback from your dad that one would hope/expect/need.  No matter how old you are, I don't think that's easy.  My mom also had those tendencies.  Everything centered on HER.  She didn't raise her kids with THEIR good in mind, not at all!  I don't know how we survived, let alone all turned out well, I had to have counseling, we all figured things out in our own way.  Peggy lived in fantasy world.  I prefer to deal with things.  Polly was constantly learning.  Julie approached it differently, impressed others with great house, personage, landscape, travels, etc. trying to appear normal, excelling.  I think our bad background affected us all, just displayed differently.  We all tried to "do better" only half of us having kids but those of us who did raised them pretty much the opposite of what our parents did.

You should have tons of appreciation for what you do for your dad.  It isn't forthcoming.  Your reward is in knowing that you have done your best and can be proud of yourself, I know I am and I haven't even met you in person!  Doing our best in life means something, to ourselves even if no one else.  You don't get the positive strokes from your dad or your brother, but I sure hope you give them to yourself!  We can't control others' responses, but only can decide for ourselves who we will be and what that will be like.  ;)  

I think if your dad were to come home he'd regain some of himself, my sister did...dementia is a ganglion taking over, little by little, but some things can be improved or worsened and I can't help but feel hospitals worsen it, being out of their surroundings.  It takes them a while to adjust being back in their own surroundings, like my sister forgot how to use the phone, was clearly out of her mind during/after evacuation, but has improved since, I've had to work with her on getting some things back like using the phone.  In a year or so it could be stage IV and she won't know anything, but my hope is she'll have some of her brain meanwhile.  Your dad too.:wub:

dianthus pinks.JPG

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Those are gorgeous flowers. If im here next summer I want to get some seeds. These do have a sweetish smell. There are different colors too.

Sorry to hear about your hand. You'll have to be very careful. good you have neighbors to help tho. No more injuries for awhile.

my brother answers eamil and tells me sounds good. never initiates an email asking how dad is and has never asked how I am. I know what he is but still. 

Got dad settled. Its an older place. looks like thyeve renovated the outside and the offices. his room is fine and the place doesnt smell at all. The room could use a new coat of paint and the hospital beds work but not new either. he says hes comfortable and not in pain. But hes still sleeping all the time. Which is the problem, since friday he sleeps all the time and is groggy, looks drugged. 

His nurse showed me his list of meds. The hospital added 2-3 new meds for cognition and pain. I know pneumonia can hurt, but he wasnt taking these before. the rehab has no idea how he was before so think hes always taken them and needs to continue them. he needs to stop taking them. Thats my next battle. They have a doctor and a nurse practitioner that each make rounds once a week or come in when needed. they have PT and nurses on premises of course. So, I need to talk to the doctor. I have a meeting friday so if he's not there will address it with the unit manager and case manager. If he stays on these drugs he will end up just another overmedicated elderly man sleeping away the rest of his life in a nursing home. Seems a pretty good scam to me. but not my dad. I dont know if holding his medical POA means I can make them stop or if i'd need an atty. we shall see

And isnt this the tragedy. Doctors etc making decisions for those who cant defend themselves, dont even know the poor folks and they consign them to a terrible end.

They close for visitors at 5pm and its a half hour away so just one visit a day. I really dont think dad cares, notices or remembers. he that drugged up. 

To me if theres nothing to catch and interest his mind he will just sleep or veg. If he were home and could surf channels maybe , but they didnt have a remote for his TV, supposed to get one and I ordered one. I know he has serious issues, but i truly believe he can do and be alot more than theyre saying.

Thanks for your kind words. they mean alot. All but those 2 great nurses at the hospital never asked me about dad, never cared. I would think if you want to help someone know what theyve been capable of.

Tbh ive been way over my head but I have no choice so will do all I can. Im getting more hardhearted and more ready to fight for him. hes away from that hospital so this is leg two. get him off the drugs and get rehab going.

I am also considering the alternative, that he may never come home. Ins pays for 100 days so we have 99 days to go. Will do my best and give him every opportunity and if he doesnt then we deal with it. If he passes then will deal with that also. 

I know with parkinsons new places are bad for them. being drugged up does not help at all, i think it pushes him more to being catatonic. Being there with nothing to do most of the day hurts too. Its hard for him to initiate and focus. Now he has nothing to do so will just sleep. If he cant change the tv channel then its worse. The health care system is broken and I sincerely pray im gone before I need to go into it.

I dont really expect anything from my dad. This whole ordeal I think just did him in, hes just lost and doesnt care, in a fog.

You folks got cold. thats definitely fire weather. be careful with your hand, hope your neighbors will check on you. Too bad you cant train kody to fetch firewood. get him a little sled and attach the reins to a bodyharness. he could go put a few logs in the sleigh and bring it in.

Hope your sister hangs on. nobody should go through all this. 

Well. im going to go rewrite some notes and do some reading. Take good care and scratch kodie for me.

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That's true for dementia too, they do best in their own surroundings, Peggy went nuts during evacuation, also when in hospital and rehab.  I remember ordering the dementia care place to get my mom out of bed and into general population (no Covid back then), she needed stimulation, not shut away, they had to answer to me, even though my brother had POA, not me.  I still would call them out when something was wrong.  She did well there but not at first when they left her in her room in bed the first two weeks!

Talked to Polly (sister) last night, she knew about my dog bite but hadn't called, wanted to update her on what was going on, also she's the only one seems interested in Peggy besides me.  Julie is traveling again, I told her I'm going to live vicariously through her pictures.  She has a lot of stress in her life.  Never hear from brother Mick.  It'd be easy to fear what's to come but I try not to go there, try my best to stay in today, it's enough.

Polly said Peggy's caregiver doesn't listen, they shrunk her drapes when Peggy told them it wasn't washable, now they need replaced, two sets.  :angry: They were supposed to be dry cleaned, we don't have a dry cleaners here.  I'm having problems with them throwing things out the garbageman can't take and filling up the garbage so there's no room for the diapers and kitchen garbage.  It's annoying, like no common sense.  I already have Peggy if I wanted that!  Still, am relieved it's not all on my  shoulders, but just wish they were more responsible (caregiver has a "helper").

Only to get to 62 today so filled up fireplace again.  In the 40s at night.

I wish I could garden like you do, poor knees & hands, can't even think of it.  But I need to get some hanging flowers next year to brighten up my home.  Tired of fake flowers on my patio, I changed over when I was gone every weekend but haven't been for years, need to get back into having real flowers, it was fun to take care of them and watch them grow every day.  Something about being surrounded by life.


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Yes definitely need mental stimulus. Its easier for the staff to just let them lie in bed and stare at the wall. The facility called me this morning, dad was wheezing and coughing bad. They put him on oxygen and started albuterol and when I went in hes coughing alot. Its clear mucous and no fever etc but he definitely has stuff in his lungs. they did an xray and it came back clear so he didnt aspirate food. Nurse Practitioner saw him and set him up with atropine for salive, which he was already on and said it was probably from his Parkinsons. I havent seen him get sick and cough like that in 4 years. Im trying to get a list of his meds so I can see whats been added. I need to talk to one lady and fill out forms and she wasnt in. Will do so tomorrow or talk to the director, delay isnt acceptable. hes being given something thats drugging him out and it will stop or I find an atty. You can imagine how tired, anxious, scared, and angry I am at the healthcare system, being ignored and seeing dad being used like he has. 

That said the nurses there have been very nice and treated him well. Im trying to talk to all of them and tell them how he was before his pneumonia and what he likes, doesnt like and what he needs. 

yep, today is more than enough. your siblings sound very interesting. Do you all ever get together for Christmas?

It was so strange after I quit work. All those many years in retail and never enjoying a holiday and then I had em but didnt have Mom and didnt know anyone , anyway. 

So what kind of work is Julie in? Traveling would be exciting, even with ths covid mess. I wonder if it gets really complicated.

caregivers...how do people reach adulthood with no common sense. Sounds like they dont even try. And caregiving is pretty important. Well, yes at least she has some help. Hoping you can relax a bit. 

We are a bit warmer here. 60s at night and 80s by day. Hoping for rain. Once dad feels better I want to get him in a wheelchair and take him outside so he can kind of see where hes at. 

I realise that he may never make it home, and may never make it out of that place. he got there yesterday and today hes very sick and they say its something hes not had in 4 years so I have to wonder. And I do undertsand paperwork but as his son and poa holder they will be transparent on his meds. I will do all I can to see he is well taken care of and get better. Hoping tomorrow he is better. 

Oh, yea, he does have a TV in his room but theres no remote. Several people told me they would get one and havent. So now im keeping track of how they delay and how they say they will then dont. 

Enjoy the cool weather, maybe some nice spiced tea. Hope Kodie is doing well, take good care

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We never get together for Christmas or anything, we used to have "Sisters Reunions" but can't do that anymore, Peggy needs too much care, they wanted to last summer but I put the kabash on that, my Civic won't hold people, luggage, coolers, her walker, bed rails, I don't have the strength to fold up the bed rails, neither does she, no one ever offers to come by her house and help with it of course, also she can't do stairs, needs a toilet riser, just overall CARE.  I think they have a better idea of her state now but didn't before.  Polly needs driven because of her blindness.  Peggy is very unstable for balance and blindness, also zero common sense.  That leaves me and Julie doing everything.  We had another sister, the one who was quadriplegic for 50 years, she died three years ago, we got together with her every month, taking her out to lunch and shopping, I miss doing that with her.  The boy rarely sees us, last time was lunch for Peggy's birthday.

Julie is retired from the school system but works in her husband's business, he has a roofing business so she answers phones, writes contracts, does billing, etc, she trained someone else but has to fill in when she's gone.  She's had to train someone several times, seems she can't get a break.  They're vacationing in Vermont right now, they've been all over the world, different countries every year, but since Covid staying in our country.  They have a map in their movie room that shows all the countries they've been to!  Their kids were raised traveling...my kids, upon seeing their black sports cars when they were teens, said:  "Clearly, we were born in the wrong family!"  :D  We did well just taking them camping!

You are a wonderful son/advocate, when I'm old I wish there were someone there for me like that, but I'm afraid I'm out of luck.  Hoping my health will hold up and die quickly. ;)

Kodie is doing well, he's affected by this latest dog trauma though, he's never growled (except playfully) before until after this.  Guess he's sick of vicious dogs, me too.

Yes, I don't believe in coincidences, I think everything going on with your dad is telling a story, and they're not doing right by him.  Do they not stop and think that will be THEM someday?!  No excuse for them not having a remote for someone who isn't ambulatory.  The one thing he should be able to control is what he watches!  And they should have someone cross-trained that can release a list of meds. what if a hospital was asking for it!  Sometimes it can't wait for 24 hours for them to have so & so back at work. :angry:  Keep up the good vigilance!  I fought for Peggy just like you are with your dad.  Sometimes there's no appreciation/thanks for what we do except our own knowing we did the right thing...our best.



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be back later and answer fully, rehab just called and dad is running a temp and difficulty breathing so theyre running him to the hospital. I'm getting a real bad feeling here. he hasnt had coughing like that in four years and didnt have it from his aspiration pneumonia. There was a text to all residents families saying they passed all the covid protocol testing and restrictions were now lifted. I wonder if someone had tested for covid before. No one ever mentioned that in all the phone calls. Going to wait a couple hours then go out

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well talked to his nurse

his fever is gone, his cough is gone, they moved him to CSU critical care and have him on a breather. He was somewaht awake and spoke to the nurse but very weak, They want to do a swallow test again before giving him water. I dont know why they cant do that first thing. Will see if I can go visit tomorrow for a few minutes. He wont be going back to that rehab place again. 

Too bad you cant all get together, wonder if theyd like all getting on skype sometime and chatting. thats what we do with bro and wife.

they ask if dad had his pneumonia shot and I know he is due. Sept is usually when we get ours but havent been able to with all the stuff. I wonder if that pneumonia shot would help with the aspiration pneumonia and we should get it for him before he leaves the hospital.

Im listening to faroff thunder, doubt we get rain but maybe down into the 60s. looked before sunset and those dark clouds were beautifull.

I noticed with my cousins also that they dont want to know us. The one cousin who wanted Moms old family cookbook. i sent it to her since my brother didnt want it. Cousin was all sweet til she got what she wanted then doesnt know me. Another reason why I say I have no family.

If I can ask, do you ever hear from anyone else in the family?

Lol your kids, I think id rather have an appreciation and connection to nature. never travelled outside the US, never will.

Julie sounds very smart, she sounds like someone who always has to be going.

What really stands out to me in all this is the system is broken, not people friendly and I always feel like im fighting a losing battle. the one nurse Dad had in the hosital was helpful and thats it.I hope I go before I get into the bad stuff. 

Well, I know I wont get a thanks. tho my brother gave me a rah rah. Problem now is the meds they gave him in the last hospital carried thru rehab and the new hospital will think hes always taken them, tho he hasnt. his nurse tonight actually asked me about him, did he walk before etc and I laid out the fast track. I know hes not out of the woods but we shall see.

Kodie-yep and cant blame him. Im sure he was traumatised. Its sad cause he sounded like such a sweet dog. i hope it doesnt affect him meeting new animals and people. 

take good care, no more new injuries, aches or pains. Just a peacefull week.


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Oh no!  (On your dad)  

Don't have Skype here.

My sisters is about all I hear from, rarely my kids except holidays.  My bdy is this week, heard from Peggy & Julie so far, will hear from Polly.  Kids remember me but sometimes late.

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

Julie sounds very smart, she sounds like someone who always has to be going.

You've got that right!  Her husband is in turbo mode!  I could not keep up...even if I weren't 9 & 10 years older respectively.

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

i hope it doesnt affect him meeting new animals and people. 

That's my concern too.  :(  It infuriates me that he could be damaged by these traumas.  It seems the threat to me hit him even harder than when he was attacked by Kyro a few months ago!

I'm sorry about your family, I understand.  I can't stand people that only use you, then don't know you. :angry:  Family or otherwise.

Dr wants a phone visit at 4, annoying, what's he to learn by phone that his nurse prac. didn't already glean in person and on the phone!  Seems to me he'd want to see my wound in person, so why did he bother having his nurse prac. see me?  Annoying waste of my time, messes up my schedule.  Another business appt was changed on me from 12:30 to 2:30 w/o even bothering to discuss with me by company, it means Kodie will be late for his play date which means my dinner will be late also.  Originally I'd had plans today, now they're canceled.  Apparently others matter, but not me?

I'm glad you talked to the hospital and they wanted to know if he was ambulatory before all this!  I hope you cued them in on the newer Rxs he's being drugged with.  I hope they listen to you.  We sure have to grow some backbone standing up for them, don't we!

Peggy wants me to take her out for my bdy, told her I can't lift her walker with my hand like this, now she wants her caregiver to go with us, ugh.  Kind of ruins it, seems bdys are kind of private...guess not now.



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11 hours ago, Tachi said:

Im listening to faroff thunder, doubt we get rain but maybe down into the 60s. looked before sunset and those dark clouds were beautifull.

Sounds beautiful!  We never did get the T&L predicted but relieved as we weren't out of the woods yet with fires...

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quick update and im cooking dinner. dad is better. On O2 mask and instead of making him pee on a pad they gave him a slipon catheter. his doctor came and talked with me and asked how he was before this, didnt know about the previous hospital, we had a good talk. 

dads throat so dry cant understand a word and I keep telling him that and he keeps talkinng anyway. No cough or congestion or fever. Weak, needs to get O2 up and pass a swallow test. Hopefully tomorrow. No meds until he can. Overall hes in decent shape, better once he gets the above issues fixed. Will go back after dinner. 

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This sounds much better, seems they weren't taking care of him as well where he was before, I'm glad the doctor asked how he was before, I hope he aims to get him there again.  It's good that he's wanting to communicate, even if he can't, it's showing interest.

Had phone visit with doctor, I like this doctor, he said gluing is "acceptable practice" but he's old school, esp. for joints he would have stitched.  He said the nurse prac. hadn't stitched because they aren't allowed.  I'm to call and report on it Monday morning and see if they want to see me.

I talked Peggy into letting me bring in takeout for our "bdy celebration," easier than trying to take her out right now.  I hope to God I don't have to go to the doctor on my bdy.

The other appt took nearly two hours, it was my air filtrations and vacuum, no one ever took it completely apart and cleaned it before, had to replace a part, cost $534 altogether, it's a lot.

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well Hapy Birthday.

takeout sounds good. I think I use super glue too much, but it works good. Sounds like your doctor is practical. Wow, expensive vacuums and filtration. Thats the problem esp with the tech stuff, expensive to maintain and replace. 

Well, dad is barely able to communicate today, a bit better and hope it continues. he had a barium swallow test and is still on water. Pudding he failed. he has it stay in his throat. I know hes hungry. they switched him to glucose for a bit of noursihment. I thought they would have a nutritional IV but no. Sooner or later he has to either eat or have a feeding tube. he is trying his best but wants to go home. No one has even looked at his legs. I know even tho he cant stand up they can do exercises in bed. he gets several breathing treatments a day. they say his throat main nerve may be irritated and one problem may be his throat has little feeling so he cant feel when fluid or food is in there and needs to be swallowed. I go see hime for about an hour after lunch and dinner, very good hospital. This is the first time anyone tried to help his swallowing. they are good. 

We got firewoodtoday, expensive, got a half cord. Will save it for emergency.

My brother sent us a huge crockpot big enough to hold a whole chicken. i dont cook whole chickens.  But he needs to feel helpful.

dad is in good spirits most the time, I know hes depressed at whats going on. I want to know how he got his second pneumonia but theres no way to know. Im afraid for him it may be a feeding tube or someother remedy and he wont like it. But the odd thing is, he seems better cognitively than ive seen him in a long time. It is hard to tell with his voice so hoarse but he's better than usual. he even makes jokes and laughs and he never does that. I wonder sometimes if he has a alt personality thats his old self when he was young.

Oh well , will hope for improvement.

Hows all the aches and pains? doing better i hope. take good care and scratch kodie's ear for me.

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Just curious, how much is firewood/cord there?  I'm so lucky, I get mine from a neighbor, same one that cleans the roof, gutters, chimney, mows, cut & limbs trees, does burn piles...his name? Jack.  So you might say, Jack of all trades!

I'm so glad this hospital is doing something!  They need to work with his legs too!  If they'd show you exercises, you could help him go through them.  They NEED to be moved or his muscles will lose ground fast!  It's already been quite a while!

Peggy not listening about getting appt to dr so when her meds run out she can get some in time.  I have to shrug my shoulders at this point as trying to argue sense in her does nothing, only raises my BP, which has been normal or nearly normal recently.  Dr's office concerned about 140s, ha!  Dr Volpi wasn't concerned when it neared 200!  It's been 113-120s lately (systolic, diastolic always normal). I have white coat syndrome so don't worry what it shows at the Drs.

Called Dr's, began trying at 8, they didn't answer until 8:47, web shows they open at 8, outgoing msg says 8:15!  Got an appointment at 3 w/PA, Dr out all week!  Dr told me he'd give me non-stick pads and put stitches in, renew the antibiotics, PA did nothing.  I had to remove my own bandaging and they didn't have pointed scissors to use, I had to get my micra out of my purse!  They didn't even bandage it when done, and had to wait until I got home to do it.  I'd wanted to ask about a referral for the allergy specialist for my throat/tongue, he wouldn't look at it, and said I'd have to make an appointment to see Dr.  The Earliest they have is the 22nd.  I'm done.  I love Dr. Volpi but it does no good to have a Dr you like if you can't see him.  It's way too much hassle going here, not worth it, I could drive to town and get seen easier even if it costs gas, at least it's tax deductible.  Now I'll have to wait on the allergy Dr. even longer and Lord knows if my former Dr. will see me about my throat/tongue.  I need my annual blood tests done but it's like pulling teeth.  I guess it'll wait.  Don't like whatever Drs have to say anyway, most of it's wrong.  Lord, why do we even bother!  He did tell me to leave the bandages off at night.  He also said he would NEVER EVER EVER have glued it!  His specialty is sports medicine and injuries.  He said ESP. with nasty dog bites and the hand!  Same as my Dr. said.  So much for ER.
I haven't been able to cook the last 1 1/2 weeks and have been using what's in the freezer, ran across a pkg of Taco soup, I can't eat the beans, corn or carrots in it but decided to try half portion today, half tomorrow will see what it does to my BS.
I hassled with my insurance about whether they'd cover the PA, it all depends upon how it's billed.  I guess I'll find out.  I've had this bite 1 1/2 weeks now, it's been VERY hard trying to keep it clean and dry!  Can't clean my house and am dealing with building fires, somehow getting by.  It could be it'll take another month to heal.
The throat issue your dad has sounds like an issue, I hope they figure something out to help him with it!  I'm glad his mental state/demeanor sounds good.  I hope YOU are doing okay, it's a lot of concern on you.
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Firewood=for a half cord or 8x4 feet it was over 200 and I paid for deivery and for them to stack it in the racks. Otherwise they drop the pallet in the driveway. that was with tax 350. Expensive but if we lose power for a short time i'll have heat. If it goes out for the winter im in trouble. It is amazing to me with all our smart engineers and technology that they cant build and upkeep the powergrid. thats pure negligence and sabotage.

Dad had a jack of all trades once lol. Jack should name the company that. Would get good attention.

PT can do exercises on his legs in bed where he pushes against their hand. Its not about getting up and walking at this point but they can start strengthening them. Im hoping he gets his swallowing back, else he is probably looking at a feeding tube. They can also stretch out his neck and I think theres something they can implant that would help him swallow. I just want this ordeal to be over for him. then its on to rehab. I have my fears rehab can take care of his special needs. But theres no choice.

You have good BP, I havent checked mine in awhile. cant go to the doctor in any case. but I can start exercising again and finetune my diet more.

I never understand doctors anymore or PAs. They should be concerned about you and take care of everything you need. yep, time for a new one. I know its frustrating but hang in there.

yea, I wonder why we have docs sometimes too. Its not about the patient anymore so I dont know what its all about. 

Dads throat is the number one issue and should have been addressed in April with his first pneumonia. he simply cant keep getting sick. I ran across this page


I havent studied or done much this two weeks. Its quieting down some. I was wasting the times between care and business, just wasting it like im waiting for another emergency. Have to break out of that and get back to what life I can make. Last night I started some new artwork. dad likes yardlights so i got a pack and am going to plant a pumpkin patch, albeit small. i was very pleased with how the wildflower mix did so well. the other seed didnt do well but then they were in mostly shade, so trying different ones.

hang in there, hoping you can get the medicals to help and get caught up. get what rest you can. I know Kodie is taking good care of ya, scratch him on the ears for me.

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Small town, everyone knows everyone else, his reputation precedes him. ;)  He charges me $90 for pickup load, about 2/3 cord, and he stacks it because of my hand injuries.  I used to.  I used to pay a guy (many years ago) $175 and I had to stack it, another was $225, I've heard others charge more now.

I'm on three BP Rxs, wish I wasn't but seems to be my genetics, I've tried everything to get it normal.  It takes me work to keep it down even with the meds!

Yes on the article, except I have no one to ask for help, doesn't look like you do either.

Try to enjoy the down time, you may not get some for a while if he comes home!


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On my way to the hospital so a quick update then be back. dad was pretty good friday. Saturday he was full of false memories, off his game by miles. Sunday he slept heavily all day. twice I went in and tried to get him fully awake and talk, he made it halfway. His tube gets inserted at 3pm, his doc called this morning to tell me when she saw him yeasterday morning he was way gone and wasnt responsive to her much. So she wants a catscan before his operation and see if anything has happened to his brain. I mentions he hasnt had his meds all week and she ignored me.. Im on a slowburn because no one tells me why he hasnt had his meds and i know it is bad when he doesnt have them. hoping this all goes well, he can get nutrition and back on meds tomorrow and be his old self again. They will keep him a few more days at least and then to rehab and hope they know how to feed a tube. If he can regain his legs at rehab he will be coming home. 

We shall see, be back in a couple hours.

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Thats a great price on wood and great service. Good people can be hard to find anymore.

Im eligible for medicare in a year and no idea if it will still be around or if I can afford it. but would be nice. It has treated dad really well. 

I talked to him a minute and then they came to take him down. he was more awake and he looks so weak and tired. Big change from friday, no idea what happened. Will go back after dinner. Hoping they can feed and meds him soon after and it helps.

BP- I wonder if the older we get the more genetics comes into play. Sounds like youre doing the right things just keep doing them. 

No help whatsoever, brother does the ole rah-rah but thats it. 

Unless it goes bad today they should have dad in hospital a few more days and then on to rehab. Insurance will pay thru end of the year i think and I hope it doesnt take that long. But if he doesnt break out of his fog we are in trouble. He asmswers questions, made a joke. it seems like he's in a fog. Will see in a few days.

Downtime. I find my anxiety is on fifth gear and I have to solve that. So much needs doing but so much in the air. 

I planted a small pumpkin patch, we will see. 

Take good care of yourself, and Kodie. Everytime I think of him it reminds me of scooby-doo getting scooby snacks because he was being good.


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went over to the hospital after dinner. Dont know why, guess just in case he was awake. they gave him something for pain and sleep so he slept. Im very curious to see if they will give his meds again, he really needs his parkinsons meds. I feel like that may be why he has been so cognitivley out of it, he needs em. Will go in after lunh tomorrow. Good chance of rain the next two days.

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I am so furious with the hospital personnel for taking his meds away and for not explaining themselves to you!  No excuse!  The way they treat people, no one wants that!  The sooner you can get him to come home the better, they can be out of it with the upset in meds AND having them in a different environment.  Peggy was too.  And her being evacuated threw her off, took her a while to come back from it somewhat, then hiring a caregiver threw her off too (that's when she attacked me so horribly).  Do hospitals even understand dementia?!  If he has dementia and Parkinson's, he may have Lewey Bodies, that's what my mom's was.  Do you know whether it's that or Alzheimer's?

I know why you went there, you care about him and hoped to see if he was still like that or doing any better.  I hope with you...

So Covid is going around here, I know several with it, yet our town just had an event the news covered, not one was wearing a mask, glad I am staying home.

Smells like skunk in here, can't do a walk around until it gets light...

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yesterday dad was pretty good. They had the feeding tube in and said he was tolerating it well. I was hopeful. This morning at 5a.m. his nurse called me in. he had taken a turn for the worse. His eyes were closed and he was unresponsive, he wheezed when he breathed and coughed up at times. she was wondering if the feeding solution wasnt absorbed and so was getting up into his throat. they had vacuumed his throat several times and gotten gunk out. His doctor called me and suggested we start hospice. theyve xrayed and scanned for blood clots and run tests and find nothing wrong. maybe they botched the feeding, I have no way of knowing. maybe they did it right but it got in his throat anyway. In any case he is unresoponsive, breathing hard and fast and his heart is going fast. hospice has started him on morphine and atavan to try and ease him and relax him. maybe that will help his breathing. he has always said he wasnt in pain so he doesnt need a pain killer. they didnt expet him to last the day but im thinking he will hang on. 

His fear has been that he end up a vegetable. he does have his dnr in place. I know they have O2 on him and IVs they had to put in his legs because they couldnt in his arms. So we are all just waiting for him to pass

I called my brother, fisrt thing he asks about is the estate, wants me to keep the house. We've been over it and ive told him no. he wanted to run the numbers. No, its my money, ive run the numbers and no

The house is on a Ladybird deed and will pass to me. Since I never got the Trust done we will need to probate the Will for the possessions. That wont be bad unless bro decides to be a pain, then i'll talk to a judge. Need to have the estate sale so theres cash to pay mortgage and bills. medical bills, taxes etc. Im staying busy and trying t make a list of things I need to do. 

My loving brother had told me of some heirloom things he wanted, this was last year. I told dad and that i told bro he had to ask dad cause its not my property. bro never asked him and dad just said he had to work that out when the time came. I told bro that after the estate is settled he could have anything he wanted but the value of that item would be deducted from his share. he decided he would need to re evaluate, apparently he just wanted to grab expensive things off the top and then split the rest...no.

The estate cant close until all bills are paid. It will take time for the medical bills to come in. So really do need that estate sale or the house will default. 

Anyway, one step at a time. I want him to pull through but it wont hapen. i want him to pass peacefully and easily. Its just so strange the difference from when I saw hime yesterday at 6pm to what I saw 5a.m. But no one knows.

Honestly I have no idea what dad had ever been told of what he had. I know he had some dementia handbooks so he at least suspected. But he would get very angry if i mentioned he was sick or had problems. But he def had dementia and alzh and Parkinsons..

take good care of yourself, i dont watch the news anymore so dont get the coivd scare they always do. Ive read theyre targeting doctors who use ivermectin, even tho they dont use the horse dewormer kind and it works really well and safe. 

I guess I wont do anything else in the yard and will start cleaning the house. 

Thank you for listening to me ramble, take good care and scratch Kodie's ears for me.

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dad has passed, he just never woke up today. No idea what happened but he was breathing fast and heavy til the end. they did scans and xrays and tests and couldnt find anything. Nurse said his lungs were just worn out. 

The guy from the funeral home called soon after, that made me mad. he was asking what I wanted for him. dad had a prepaid policy so whatever that was for but the guy didnt have the info on his pc at home. then he shouldnt have called me. I remember when Mom passed she went into their plot and it was like 1500. he was saying 18000, ummm no.

Life seems so odd, just when it looked hopeful then for no reason we could see the floor fell away. I hate this, have to cancel all this stuff, hope the bank co operates and doesnt screw me over. 

Anyway, you dont need to read my anxiety. Feels so weird now.

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