I lost my very best friend one year ago but the grief is not over

[maryy]

I lost my very best friend one year ago in my home country. I got really shocked since I was in the US and didn't know anything about her illness. I had very had time to accept this fact that my super energetic friend with big wishes is no longer on the earth. Since I am far from my family and my home country friends, I didn't have the chance to talk with our common friends about our memories and mourning together. I had a very difficult year with lots of ups and downs. Recently, my grandfather has died and the death and grief still continue. My family and my friend's family all recover from this grief. However, it's still in me and I think it transformed into anxiety. I really afraid of death and whenever I think about it I tolerate lots of stress. Any advice can help.

 

Thanks

[kayc]

I'm very sorry for your loss.  You don't say where you're from, but it helps to see a grief counselor.  Also grief support groups can be helpful as you're all going through it together.  What is it about death that you are afraid of?

Anxiety is common in grief, mine was kicked in full bore when my husband died, but then I have GAD anyway.  A feeling of not knowing how you're going to survive without that person, afraid of the future.  It helps very much to stay in today, live in the present, one day at a time.

[kvolm]

Hello maryy, I too am sorry to read of these 2 deaths that you are grieving.  I am sure that being away from home and without the support of your family and friends makes the grieving much more intense.  Healing from the loss of any significant relationship is a process that takes time so even though it has been a year, that can be quite normal.  Is there any opportunity for you to connect with your family and friends in your home country?  Would it be possible to arrange this so that you can talk about both of these losses with them and share with them how you are feeling and the difficulties you are experiencing?

[MartyT]

You may find this article helpful (including the related resources listed at its base): In Grief: Mourning the Loss of a Friend ❤️