Always Aware

[Froggie4635]

Life moves along, sometimes so quickly that you don't have time to acknowledge all the things that are going on.  I am still dealing with the after affects of my car accident, and it is approaching a year.  I am meeting with a therapist for a few sessions; part of the treatment for my accident, and perhaps to show some emotional distress.  Am finding out how VERY attached I was to my car and all the memories and importance it held in my life...pretty significant.  I was forced to give it up, just like I was forced to give up Mark when he died.  I had a stronger connection to it than I do to my house...if you can believe that.  I recently allowed a friend to move in because she was in a truly horrible situation, and I couldn't continue to allow it to happen.  It has been a major adjustment over the last two weeks; I know that I need to encourage and push her to begin to help herself as she has safety and peace now.  On a more positive note, over the past month I have been getting to know someone who has plans to relocate to Houston before Thanksgiving.  He is the first man I have met that "gets it" in regards to being a widow and how it affects your life forever.  We both kind of agree that Mark has brought this man to my life...he is so similar to Mark in many ways, but also very different and will add so much to my life.  I am so much stronger than I have been in a very long time.  I started dressing better, wearing make up and walk with a confidence I have not had in a long time.  Yesterday I received news that a former colleague, who we worked closely with in our office, lost her battle with breast cancer; the first person I have known on such a level to die since Mark, and I am trying to deal with the feelings and emotions it is presenting at this time.  But I get through each day, and keep moving forward...always aware of all that is going on.

[MartyT]

So good to hear from you, Maryann, and we wish you all the very best as you keep on moving forward ❤️

[KATPILOT]

4 hours ago, Froggie4635 said:

We both kind of agree that Mark has brought this man to my life.

They do have ways Maryann.

I'm so sorry for you having lost your friend. Losses seem to come with so much more powerful an affect when we have had such a major loss in our lives. I think that every time we lose something that connects us to our departed loves we feel that loss so much more because what is gone can never be brought back. And we know that too well.  

Patty and I are thinking of you and even though you have come so far on your journey it still seems like a mountain yet to climb. Hang in there friend. Each day is one of growth and you are moving in the right direction. Even if we don't know which way we are heading, it has to be better than where we were.

[Polly]

11 hours ago, Froggie4635 said:

  He is the first man I have met that "gets it" in regards to being a widow and how it affects your life forever.  We both kind of agree that Mark has brought this man to my life...he is so similar to Mark in many ways, but also very different and will add so much to my life.  

ohhhhhh, I swear I could have wrote this. I also think that Richard had something to do with me meeting Bill. Sometimes he will say or do something and I just stop dead in my tracks and swear it was Richard. 

[kayc]

Maryann, you have a lot going on in your life but it sounds full, if not challenging too.  I see you growing stronger, so it's no wonder your confidence is showing!  Losing our spouse knocks us for a loop but then we discover it's what we do with it...

I can relate to the car feelings, I just let go of my Honda Civic that I bought new over 11 years ago...very hard!  She never let me down, not once.  When I was commuting every day I felt like I lived out of it.

Wishing you the best going forward.  Keep us posted!