Astala Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 I am rambling just to get something written and (hopefully) help my grieving process. It likely wont make much sense, so feel free to ignore I just wanted to get it out. My sister passed away just over four months ago. She was only 47. We were only 16 months apart and she was my best friend. I didn't need anyone else, we had each other. I have a couple of other friends but was happy knowing I had her and didn't feel the need to expand my social circle on meaningless acquaintances. We finished each others sentences, and knew every thought the other had. We were only NOT twins because we were born 16 months apart but our bond was just as strong. In the last five years we have dealt with the death of our stepfather, our mother, and my former brother in law. We got through it all because we had each other. How cruel that I lost her as well, 15 months after her diagnosis of cancer. I keep hoping that the good memories will come, all I keep getting are flashbacks of the time of her passing, it was not a peaceful death (at least it did not appear that way to me). She was asleep but I can't even begin to describe the last few hours (although if you are here I'm sure you know what I am taking about). We used to love boating, so I bought a boat and named it after her. I'm trying to fill the void that she has left by doing the things we loved to do together. No one seems interested and to be honest, nothing seems like it will be anywhere near as good without her. I can't imagine travelling without her, we had so many plans! Her husband is already dating the neighbour that helped take care of her. While I have nothing against her personally, I cannot begin to deal with my sister's husband as part of another couple and while I want to support him as well, I haven't been to his place since he told me (because she lives across the street and will likely come over). I spent the last few months hibernating. I'm slowly starting to emerge but it's been lately again that these images of her death and crying jags keep coming up. I don't know if it will ever be better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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