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No words I can say will help.  If I was close I could hug you, and that would not help either, but you know you have a lot of people hurting with you, and we all feel helpless.  Our hearts are with you Katie girl.

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Thank you all.  Today it’s three weeks since he left this world, my world.  Why does it feel like it’s been forever yet yesterday.  

I went to the cemetery.  I want to crawl in the hole with him for eternity.  But Lord knows I have to keep going for our kids.  I just want my heart to not hurt this much.  It hurts so much.  😢💔

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Katie, I’m sorry I am late in saying hello to you.  Laid up right now.  I’m so glad to see this community rally as they do when someone is in need.  I can add my first few months were like a time warp.  Time had no meaning.  Sometimes it would zip thru a day in numbness and others feel like misery so much longer than 24 hours.  We never had children, 3 miscarriages tho. I cannot imagine what that is like for you with your boys and another coming.  Just wanted to say I have been reading your thoughts and feelings so you know another is hearing your pain and wishes they could fix it.  Make it all undo itself.  Sadly we cannot.  Another heart is with you.  💖

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Time is warped when we are grieving.  I remember feeling like that too, now it just feels like forever ago, it's been so long, it almost feels like I dreamed him up, it's hard to believe he used to hold me...a lifetime ago.  Time doesn't stand still for any of us.

I know it is hard but I'm glad you have the kids to keep going for.  

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Today is the worst day as of yet.  I just don’t want to keep going.  I am without my other half.  I had to let the boys go to my parents today as I need to work through this feeling of not being able to go on.  I am starting a grief and loss group tomorrow.  I’m scared to go.  But I promised my therapist I would give it a try. I can’t imagine the rest of life without my love.  I guess life will go on.  But I just don’t see how.  😞

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I know how difficult these moments are.  If you can try to refocus on just now.  Just breathe and let the tears flow.  Is someone there with you?  I hope so.  This is too hard of a time to be alone.

Life will go on one moment at a time.  It won't be the life you and Allen planned.  You are a great mom and a wonderful person and the life you will give your children is the best life they could have.  As they are older you will be able to tell them the love story of you and Allen.  You can share with them what a great dad he was and wanted to be.  No one else can do that for them with the love and honesty you can.

If you need help to go to the group therapy ask someone to drive you.  If you aren't sure you are strong enough that is normal and it's ok.  Ask if someone might be able to go with you if you think that would help.  Right now you have to focus on looking after yourself so that you are well enough to look after the boys and to carry your darling daughter.  You are important to many people in this world.  Each one who cares for you wants to fix what can't be fixed.  But if you can teach them to hold your hand and listen to you I think you will feel better.  We all need people to care about and to have care about us.  Don't be like me and lock yourself in a box where no one can see your pain.  Reach out ❤️ 

Katie you are strong and brave.  I don't think there is anyone that I have heard of that has gone through all of what you have.  You are still here with the boys for a reason.  They need you and you need them.  Take care my 'chosen little sister'.  You mean so much to do many.

 

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Thank you Marita.  I’ve taken your words to heart. I believe you are brave too.  I don’t want you to lock yourself in a box.  I think of you all the time.  I should email more.  I will work on that.  ♥️ And hugs.  

I have my best friend with me.  I just don’t want Caleb and Ryan to see me this upset and down. Though Caleb is old enough to understand.  

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Katie,

Right now I'm here to help hold you up and offer my support.  Don't worry about sending me an email.  As long as you post somewhere that you are ok or ok but need help I will be happy.

Let your friend help you and take the time you need.  Ask her to give you a hug from me. ❤️

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And please a hug from me too.  Please listen to Marita.  We cannot sit with you in your house, we all would be with you if we could.  Katie-girl, you have all our hearts and we would all be sitting with you if we could.  

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Kate:  You have gone through so much in your young life.  I can't begin to imagine what you must feel.  I do know,  right now is try not to think about tomorrow or next week.  Just get through the next minute, then the day will take care of itself.  One Day at a Time.  Please know you are in my thoughts and I pray for the strength you have inside of you.   Dee

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Katie,

Sending my love and warm hugs over the miles to you, also. I hope you are able to find some comfort in the grief group. Do not be afraid. They are lost and hurting,  just as you are at the moment.

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Katie,

You ARE loved by everyone here.  I'm sorry yesterday was so hard.  Marita speak from the wisdom of experience.  There can be good surprises in your future, hold on for your children and to see those good surprises.  For today, be in this moment, with your friend, don't try to take on the "rest of your life", it's too much for any of us to try to tackle.  We're here with you.

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@MartyT  Katie said she's unable to log into the site but has read the posts.  Can you help her out?

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