I Lost My Brother

[Lenora]

Hi eveyone,

I'm new to the group. I lost my brother in 2000 due to an accidental shooting. I was 15 at the time I'm 21 now. I do grieve for him at times and I do have days were I'm depressed. Has anyone ever felt like this even years after the death?

[candih]

Hi,I lost my only brother in Jan of 2001,and yes I do still

feel the saddness and loss and depression.still seems like a dream ya know?

the pain has lessened some but never will I be the same and the hurt will never go totally away

I miss him so much

Candih

[Kerry]

Hello Everyone

I lost my 10 year old brother 16 years ago. I was 14 years old at the time. He died in a drowning accident. I was with him at the time and I didn't act in time enough to save him. Words cannot even begin to express how guilty angry empty and devastated I have been ever since. He was my everything. I don't believe grieving ever really ends. It just goes through stages. Sometimes I will be ok for years and then it just hits out of nowhere. I will become emotionally paralysed for months with non stop crying and flashbacks.

I know I had always been a good sister to him and I take comfort in that. I just miss him and love him so much. Everyone grieves diferently and its ok to still mourn someone you loved even 50 years after they have passed. I know I sill will if I am still around.

Edited June 23, 2006 by Kerry

[hisbeauty4ashes]

HI I to am new to this group. I lost my brother last May do to an unsolved mistry. It is normal to have times where you grieve the loss,sometimes I would question myself like why am I feeling like this or should'nt I be over this by now! THe truth is it is a process you walk through and it takes time.

Blessings to you and I am sorry for this loss.You will be ok and you will get through it be encouraged.

Jeanie

Hi eveyone,

I'm new to the group. I lost my brother in 2000 due to an accidental shooting. I was 15 at the time I'm 21 now. I do grieve for him at times and I do have days were I'm depressed. Has anyone ever felt like this even years after the death?

[Kerry]

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to let you all know about a book that really helped me. I have been through two years of counseling and this book did more for me. It is called Sibling Grief by P. Gill White, Ph.D. It's about healing after the death of a sister or brother at any age. It has just been published. The auther lost her sister when she herself was 14 years old. She is a counselor now. Anyway it talks about the ignorance in society about sibling loss. Everyone pushes us to be over it. They are not being cruel they just don't understand how deep that bond runs. They have'nt been through it. It is a devestating blow and you don't just get over it. You grow through it and evolve from it. Our brothers and sisters know us like no one else does or ever will. The bond is so deep that it can never be broken even after death. They are a part of who we are today. Anyway I hope this information can be of some help.

Kerry

[colonel0404]

Hi eveyone,

I'm new to the group. I lost my brother in 2000 due to an accidental shooting. I was 15 at the time I'm 21 now. I do grieve for him at times and I do have days were I'm depressed. Has anyone ever felt like this even years after the death?

My sister was killed by a drunk driver about a year ago and the trial just ended recently. It hurts so bad sometimes. It come and then go and then comes back worse. My sisters name is danae demattei and it kills me so much not to talk to her. The one thing i will say that helped was being with her in her coma for the 4 or 5 days. At least i got to put my head at her side for those days. Hang in there, please. I want everyone like me to win this horrible battle. Sometimes i have bad thoughts but i know she wouldn't want it and i have to be strong because she is watching just like your brother.

[elb]

This week marked the eighth anniversary of my brother's death and I don't think it has gotten any easier. I am dealing with new problems now like not being able to remember what hiss laugh was like as well as old problems like feeling.such a profound sadness that sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. The only time I feel better is on this forum. I am relieved to have found a place where I can say all things other people would think sound crazy. Happy holidays everyone. Thank you for becoming my support family.

[waltermeyer]

I lost my dad to suicide when I was 10. I'm 35 now. Trust me it is absolutely normal to go even yrs with it not really affecting your day to day life. Not that u don't think about them, but you aren't "in mourning". I don't know if it makes sense. But I find myself going through the years living life on a rollercoaster as far as that subject goes. Its not an ideal situation, its hard, but it's what builds the character in us that you know you have, that others around you don't. You said earlier and it's true, and it's why we all come here. Not everyone understands. They for whatever reason don't need to. It's life long. Do the best you can with it and know it's alright and perfectly normal. Get this. My dad was buried on the total other end of town in vegas. To me, especially at 10, it was a long way to go. I visited, but not like I should have. Just coincidently I found a house when i was looking after my divorce, didnt know where it was, knew the area, but everything sounded good. Ends up the house I got was walking distance from the cemetery he's at. They put him over here so he could be by his dad. I never got to know him. He died before I was born. But I've lived here about a year and it definitely pulled it back in my face. It goes like that. Not always the same way. But the swings are still extreme. Like I said it's lifelong. Hope things stay manageable. Good luck.

By the way, I know this is a sibling section, Im unfortunately kinda well rounded when it comes to the loss of loved ones. But the feelings that come along. The straight up grief, confusion, sadness, guilt, devastation, depression, loneliness, helplessness, frustration, and I can't forget the good old anger, are common feelings.

[bonnie]

I recently lost two brothers; one March 2 of this year and the other one April 21. I feel so lost and miss them

terribly every day; we were all very close. Sounds like it doesn't get much better when it has been years for some.

I am very sad and cry all the time however going to grief counseling and seems to help some but the "hole" is still

there - seems I have lost part of my identity. New at this so wanted to just share.

[bonnie]

I have read the book Sibling Grief also and it did help even after losing two brother the early part of this year. I looked around for books and

they seem to be in shortage on siblings, however, know the grief is there for all. All the lonliness and seems to be no joy in life.

Very difficult but good book. Just taking the one day at a time and trying to do the best one can but the saddness is so great and such

an empty feeling.

[Guest Nicholas]

Dear Bonnie,

This book may not be entirely relevant to your own situation, and apologies if you have read it already, but I found it interesting, even though it was a son I lost (I seem to have read so many books on all different aspects of grief and bereavement):

http://www.amazon.com/They-Heaven-Surviving-Suicide-Sibling/dp/0972331808/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312642521&sr=1-1

Hope it helps & be strong.

Nicholas