My sister, Peggy

[kayc]

Haha, that's funny, never thought of that, just always heard it called Alexa.  I've never been interested in one of those, guess I've lived long enough doing everything for myself.  Kind of amazing though.

I keep my ceiling fan going year around, although it has a winter setting on it, but I feel the cool air from it.

[Tachi]

These devices are in a very early stage, but things like playing music and reading a book or finding you a recipe. Now they have some with a small screen like a laptop. My dad....as I have come to find out is a narcissist. The world revolves around him, he is alwys right and he gets very mad if you disagree with him. Even in the face of overwhelming professional testimony to the opposite he just refuses to listen. I have learned to not take his advice or believe what he says. he has several times told me something about business matters that I refused to follow his advice because he was very wrong, he got angry and argues like his life depends on it and then later argues again for the opposite side. Its rather difficult because I always have to show a solid front or he will take advantage of me. He feeds on being the authority and telling people how things are, ego. Now, he wants to be friends with the widow lady across the street. he says not date but just someone to talk to. Since he lost Mom he has no one to make him feel like a king. Mom spoiled him. The week before she passed she had told me how much she loved him. And how much he had changed with his stroke. She said she didnt know him anymore. Honestly I dont think he cared about her, and I think it was that way to some degree for some time. 

I was working on her old laptop because its so very slow. We had offered to get her a new one but she would fight it. Come to realise that she was having issues for a long time that just kept getting worse. She built a routine that helped her cope and feel normal. Sadly I didnt really understand until after she had gone. I dont know if she would have gotten help or if she would just have been traumatized. But her withdrawing from the public, not wanting to drive. The time she got lost going to see dad ib rehab, very simple drive but dad being a jerk gave her his directions with alot of shortcuts. Either he didnt understand how she was or he was just being cruel. From what i've seen he was being cruel. he tends to bully weakness. You remember that he and I have butted heads before. I will never give an inch because I know that means a fall. He misses having someone to run over and run their life. Mom really did love him and sacrificed for him. I guess growing up means finding out life isnt pretty. 

Sorry to go on, doing some thinking, hope you folks are enjoying the cooler weather and the trees etc. personally I love fall the most I think. The old Norse heritage perhaps.

You folks take care.

[kayc]

Fall is my favorite time of year too.  It's beautiful and I love the weather.  The snow will be here soon I fear.  Not wanting it to start...

I found out my sister worries about falling in the shower and does not have a non-slip mat.  I have one I like with suction cups in my bathtub, so I'm getting her one too.  I will put it in for her because she can't bend over like that.

Tachi...so your mom had dementia?  My mom did, not sure when it started, it went back a long ways, but my mom had other mental issues and her responses were inappropriate always so that kind of masked the onset of dementia.  I do know she noticed and was scared of losing control, scared of her own mind, that was perhaps stage 2 or 3.  Peggy has it too, not as advanced yet, but it's been going on quite a while.  She has a different personality though, so rather than it scaring her, she buries her head in the sand, always the optimist that refuses to see things as they really are.  In a way she's lucky, but on the other hand, sometimes it means she doesn't help herself the way she needs to so suffers needlessly.  We've learned we can't change her.  Like lately she's been smoking in the house because she can't navigate the porch steps.  We wanted to put in a ramp but her and her husband refused to allow it.  (???)  My other sister sent her an air filtration system a couple of years ago but she's not using it.  Why?  My guess is when it needed a new filter, rather than buy one, she'd rather use her money gambling.  She won't tell us though, we don't even know if she still has it although I can't imagine her throwing it away.  We could buy her a new filter if she'd give us the information.  But no, she's sitting in a smoke-filled house, burying her head in the sand about the damage she's doing to herself and her husband.  Refuses to see anything bad could happen.  She's always assumed she'd go quietly in her sleep.  I've tried to point out that we can't order our outcome, it comes to us unbidden in it's own way...this year should have taught her that.  But she has not wanted to take care of herself.  Even now she only exercises to stave off the pain she's endured.  If not for the pain she would not be walking.  I guess pain is a great incentive.  I would not wish the year she's had on anyone.  It very nearly broke her.