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Gwenivere

Grief removes all guard rails

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Gwen, assisted living or a homecare worker for a few hours daily not a bad idea.......Proud of your Quit ,you will see the benefits of not smoking  soon....Keep up the fight, this Journey definitely has some steep hills...Picture of me with youngest grandson...Christmas Eve

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Kevin, that is one big grin on your face, being a grandpa suits you!  Love the sweater too!  :D  This house has the same layout as my son's I was surprised, for a second I thought it was his place!

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5 hours ago, kevin said:

or a homecare worker for a few hours daily not a bad idea..

Investigate this Gwen.  I know you do  not want to leave home.  My sister had someone come in to help with my mom and maybe Medicare pays for it.  Am not sure you are old enough for Medicare.  You must have excellent insurance though and your ER social worker should be able to help with this.  After so many years of volunteering, I know you hate to give that up.  But, most nursing homes have rehab attached to them so you might know someone that can put you in touch with help.  Keeping a clear head when you are ill and when you still have widow's brain are two things that seem impossible.  💗💟💗

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12 hours ago, kevin said:

Gwen, assisted living or a homecare worker for a few hours daily not a bad idea.......Proud of your Quit ,you will see the benefits of not smoking  soon....Keep up the fight, this Journey definitely has some steep hills...Picture of me with youngest grandson...Christmas Eve

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Kevin:  What a precious grandson you have.  Your smile says it all.  Dee

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Did another volunteer day, sort of.  My back degeneration is getting intolerable.  Makes me feel useless.  I’m too terrified of the surgery for it because of being alone and I mean without Steve.  I’d still be terrified, but he would probably talk me into it seeing how I’m suffering.  I wouldn’t have to worry about the dogs and a big chance of not having to go to a rehab facility for maybe weeks.  Nor have strangers in as caregivers.  I did some once simple errands after leaving the nursing home and I just want to cry and scream about the unfairness of getting disabled when I have to now operate without my partner.  I know you can’t drive for maybe a couple months.  But Steve could get me out.  No one understands my reluctance of turning myself over to strangers.  None of them have had to.  My counselor just had both hips replaced and had his wife.  Different recovery too.  Only took a week off for each.  Quicker recovery, less risks.  Anyway, it’s so hard not feeling I belong at Foss now.  I asked the activity gal if we could chat a bit in her office and she said not a good idea since the new director laid out all the unfriendly rules.  I always walk out now and sit in my car wondering what to do.  I used to spend hours there.  Lots of laughter and comradery.  Just a daily whine about stuff I have no control over.  I just keep coming back to if Steve was here, all these kinda things wouldn’t be so heartbreaking.  2018 really set me back big time.  I think of all I have given others all my life and now I need some back from my best friend.  Again, no control on that.  My heart is so dark.  

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Gwen,

I've been horribly sick all week, don't know how long this will last, but it's been very hard taking care of my dog and cat.  Everyone says to take Nyquil but I can't drive like this so have to do w/o it.  This is one of those times I need my partner back, I can't begin to imagine how you must feel on an everyday basis.  I watched what my sister went through this year, and she had a husband who did everything for her!  She barely made it through the year.  He is still doing all of the cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, driving.  There needs to be a place you can rent a husband.

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KayC, is it Flu like symptoms that just don't get better......I was slowed  down for about two weeks, chest, head , and even Bones were sore.....I was surprised how many people that have been effected...Next year flu shot just for Insurance...

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I get my flu shot every September as soon as they are available.always hit and miss by science guessing, but I want a chance to skirt it if possible.  Also got the 2 pneumonia shots.  What’s the kicker is I have gotten sicker this year more than usual.  Bad bad year.

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I get my flu shot every year but yes it's like a flu and cold all in one.  They don't cover all strains and it seems they're getting stronger.  My friends are on day nine of this, I'm on day six.

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On 12/7/2018 at 12:00 PM, KarenK said:

Marita,

Kachinas are hand carved Native American dolls created by the Hopi, Navajo, and Zuni craftsmen. Each one is unique and carved  to represent an animal such as wolf or owl or  immortal beings such as Corn Mother or Sun God, for example. They are said to be messengers between us and the spirit world. Not sure if any other tribes do this work, but the Hopi craftsman do the finest and most expensive ones here in Arizona. The Hopi reservation is a tiny one and sits smack dab in the middle of the large Navajo reservation. Not sure how that came about. All my Kachinas are Hopi which I purchased from the craftsman. Used to have 30 of them, but had to sell many so am down to a dozen. They are carved from the Cottonwood root and stand an average of 8" to 20"  high, although the size is limited only by the artist. Somewhere around this messy house, I have a book about them which I will gladly send to you if I can find it. Living in Arizona for over 60 years, I have collected a lot of Native American pottery and hand painted drums, along with the Kachinas. I treasure each piece.

Your Kachina De Chelly was beautiful. I'm so sorry it was necessary to let her go. Canyon De Chelly is in northern Arizona. I hiked it once as a teenager in the summer with a church group. Beautiful, but remember it was a tough hike because the youth leaders didn't bring water and it was hot and dusty.

Karen, I'm sitting here today just going back through some old threads, and just read this post of yours. My wife and I lived in Holbrook operating a Comfort Inn for several years. Cookie started collecting kachinas while we lived there. They are so uniquely beautiful.  And there is no such thing as 2 of a kind. Be well. Wish I had your sunshine and warm temps these days. 

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

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Darrel,

Nice to hear from you. I love my Kachinas and other Native American craftwork. There are times when it makes me a bit sad to see all of it sitting here as it represents part of the happier life I once lived. Such a different solitary life now. Have passed by Holbrook many times on our way to Gallup and Zuni.  My photo was taken by the wall(hand painted by a Zuni artist) outside a shop in Zuni. He made beautiful hand painted drums. Those were the days.......

Peace to you and be well.

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Darrel, every time I quote your famous quote, I think of you and wonder how you're doing.

Listening to you and Karen talk...I so wish I could have gone to a tribal ceremony with George.  I still have the thick file on his Native American heritage.  Someday I need to send it to his daughter.

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43 minutes ago, kayc said:

Darrel, every time I quote your famous quote, I think of you and wonder how you're doing.

Listening to you and Karen talk...I so wish I could have gone to a tribal ceremony with George.  I still have the thick file on his Native American heritage.  Someday I need to send it to his daughter.

Kay, I hope this finds you well...and warm.  The older I get the more I dislike cold weather. I got terribly spoiled by the mild winters down yonder in the Houston area (I never have been able to find where "yonder" is on my atlas!).  Winters down there just called for a light jacket. We were supposed to get about 4 inches of snow here last Saturday, but we woke up to a VERY light dusting. That disn't disappoint me one bit.

I check the forum here most days, but I find that I'm just a bit hesitant to make comments as freely as I used to. It's my own fault. I made a terrible (expletive deleted) out of myself a time or two here. I still regret it, but sometimes it's hard to mop up all that spilled milk. I keep myself occupied most days trying to get a book written. Hemingway I'm not! I've never done anything like it before, and it's a bit daunting. I'm wanting it to be a self-help sort of thing. How to deal with adversity and look for ways and reasons to get up each day and put one foot in front of the other. That sort of subject matter. I may never get it done. But even if I don't it's giving me a way to deal with my moods better.

My 70th birthday is coming up next month. I sure wish Cookie was here to make me one of her homemade German choc. cakes. Everything was made from scratch. Even the icing. My mouth still waters just thinking about her cooking. The best ingredient was her love that she put into everything she touched.  BE WELL EVERYONE!  Try to find something to smile about today.

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

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Darrel,

The only one that remembers anything that far back is you, so let it go and be comfortable, you're one of us. ;)

You're three years older than me then, I'll be 67 this year, where does time fly?  German Chocolate, one of my favorites!  I love that and carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.  Rarely get those treats, I'm Diabetic so I quit baking.  I know someone who knows how to make an excellent small choc. cake w/o sugar and have begged her for the recipe so I could make it for my son but alas have still not received it.  I gave up asking.

I'm glad you didn't get the expected snow, we were predicted two days & nights of snow and it didn't materialize.  NOT complaining in the least!  But I was surprised to wake up and...nothing, my dog would have loved a bit!

Writing a book...that sounds industrious, I wouldn't know where to start.  Not that I don't have knowledge to impart, but trying to figure out how to put it in some kinds of acceptable form, now that's another matter!  Good luck with your endeavors.  And as I've learned whenever I've taught something, it is I who gleans the most out of it!  I'm sure the same must be true for writing a book.  Alas, I wish TX weren't so far, my bestie lives there, she's in Lockhart.  They're planning to sell their home and go to RVing. Now I won't know where to find her!

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On 1/21/2019 at 11:03 AM, olemisfit said:

The best ingredient was her love that she put into everything she touched.

Darrell, when Mark was sick in ICU and then in recovery, I had the oddest feeling I was starving to death even though I made sure I ate healthy, and saw him daily, in the evenings after work and all day weekends.  After awhile, it dawned on me that I was missing the love he put into his fantastic cooking.  It's a real thing, that magic touch.  💖

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51 minutes ago, Kieron said:

Darrell, when Mark was sick in ICU and then in recovery, I had the oddest feeling I was starving to death even though I made sure I ate healthy, and saw him daily, in the evenings after work and all day weekends.  After awhile, it dawned on me that I was missing the love he put into his fantastic cooking.  It's a real thing, that magic touch.  💖

So very true Kieron. Cookie and I both l loved to do things for each other. She didn't have a selfish bone in her body. For at least 20 years she would make the german choc. cake as my birthday cake. It took a lot of work and time to make one entirely from scratch. That sucker would be as heavy as an anvil because of all the ingredient but geez were they ever good. I never was any good in a kitchen. I eventually figured out why. I just wasn't interested in indoor cooking. I'm okay with a bbq grill, but indoors I couldn't boil water without burning it. I would try anything on a grill. Give me some thick sliced bologna and some bbq sauce and I'm totally happy. Since Cookie passed I've learned how to cook indoors. But nothing I throw together can hold a candle to Cookie's version. But then I no longer eat for enjoyment anymore. 

I hope this finds you well, my friend.

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