Margm Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 Kori, right after Billy passed (within days) I had my granddaughter and family move in with me. They were fussing so much I loaded up my car (truck) and left, no excuses except to let them both know they would not know how much they had lost "until it was written in stone." Grand-son-in-law hugged me and said "I'm so sorry we dishonored your house." My granddaughter is like most women in my family, have tempers. I left Billy so many times that 3rd month of marriage until about the 5th time, he did not come out on the steps and beg me to come back. That was the last time I left. We fussed a lot. You have to determine is it what you want, if it is worth fighting for and if it isn't , quit sitting on the steps and save yourself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 Kori, I hope you can get in to your counselor today. I'm sorry you have such a heavy load, I wish those around you were more supportive. I'm sorry your son goes through this too, how old is he? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 I hope you are having a better day Kori. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariesBabyGirl1990 Posted September 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2018 Thank you so much Widowbysuicide. You have no idea how hard and difficult this time has been for me... Last night i broke down and called my therapist. I was a mess and felt so incredibly bad for calling... He was so kind and caring about it though and called me back and i said i would talk about it when he gets home. He sent me a text this morning and then called me just to make sure that i was ok. It so sweet and so thoughtful to know i have someone in my life who cares about me and wants the best for me. Thats how my mam was... I miss her so desperately and need her now more than ever... 🤔 In a way though, i am so extremely lucky to have met such a humble and caring counselor who wants to help me through this. I am counting down the days til i get back there again 🙏 which i know wont be long at all thank god 🙏, and then ill finally be as ease and be able to completely relax. ❤️ It means more than anyone will ever know to have someone in my life who cares so deeply about what i am going through. Tomorrow my husband says he wants to take me out to a Chinese restraint for dinner. i am looking forward to it as its been a few weeks since ive been out, let alone had any time just for myself, Lets hope it goes smoothly and no arguments.... lets just wait and see.... MariesBaby xx 💖 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariesBabyGirl1990 Posted September 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2018 He is 6 years old Kayc, and he is my whole world ❤️ i would do absolutely anything for him, i love him more than life itself id take a bullet for him, or go do time for him - thats how much i love my only baby boy, he is absolutely everything to me, as he was to my mam xxx 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted September 22, 2018 Report Share Posted September 22, 2018 Great to hear you talked with your therapist. Now that you have had the recent contact you will be less agitated and more at ease knowing you will talk to him soon. It's good that there is at least one male in your life that you can be yourself with and feel safe. Keep taking care. Hugs to you ❤️ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 23, 2018 Report Share Posted September 23, 2018 I'm glad you have your son. We all need someone to care about, mine are my pets. I hope your dinner out with your husband goes well...Chinese is my favorite! Been a long time since I've had it. I'm glad your therapist contacted you too! Some positives for sure! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariesBabyGirl1990 Posted September 23, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2018 Absolutely! @Widowbysuicide & @Kayc 😎😎 I feel so much more at ease knowing i can talk to him and I feel so much better. I am seeing him this coming week so it is definitely a positive 😍 and i know i ave someone i can relay and count on. Me and my husband didnt go out today, he was exhausted from work and i was a little tried myself so i didnt mind so much - we will do it again im sure sometime... I am just sitting down to relax now and throw a pizza in the oven in a few minutes. Im just gonna have a chill night and watch my soap and then 7th Heaven and Touched by an angel. I love them shows, its kinda like when i am watching them, the whole world just stops or everyone else in the world is sleeping. Its so peaceful and relaxng and i just zone out of everyday life and sit on my recliner with my blanket and pillow and my mam's scarf and just chill out. MariesGirl xx😃 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariesBabyGirl1990 Posted September 23, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2018 😃 My friend was just here also and has just left so it was nice to spend some time with her and have a good aul laugh. 😂 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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