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Feeling Guilt After Not Being in the Room during Euthanasia


tdot2003

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My baby had bladder cancer and there was no way to save him.  He was getting sicker and I didn't want to see him suffer.  I had him for 12 years and it was so hard to make the decision to put him to sleep but it was an even harder decision to choose to not be there during his final moments.  Although he was with his favorite caretakers, who have been with him since he was a puppy, I still feel guilty not being there.  How can I deal with this?  Any advice will help.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, my dear, and as fellow animal lovers (many of whom have been where you are now) we know how much this hurts. Having walked with many pet parents over the years, I can assure you that nothing engenders more guilt than having to make the euthanasia decision for our cherished pets. It's not unlike making a conscious decision to take the life of a beloved family member, and for most of us, it's one of the most difficult choices we'll ever have to make. And then there is the choice of whether or not to be present, as you say, "during his final moments." You know yourself better than anyone, and the simple fact is that not everyone is capable of being "in the room" when a pet is euthanized. What is more, your presence under duress would only add to your animal's anxiety, which makes everything that much harder for all concerned ~ including your beloved baby. So I won't pass judgment on anyone who is unable or unwilling to be present at such a painful time. It is very much an individual decision and it belongs to the person involved. The guilt you are feeling now is only natural, and my heart reaches out to you in your pain. I hope you will find this article helpful: Guilt in the Wake of A Euthanasia Decision

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I'm so sorry for your loss, I know this is a hard thing to have to do and as a very personal decision, not everyone chooses to be present for the euthanasia.  To them, they are just going to sleep and you're the one going through the stress.  It makes sense to not expose them to your stress and let them go in peace.  It's my belief that we'll be together again and that the death of the physical body is not the end, but rather a transition to what's next.  I hope for your sake you'll be able to come to peace with this decision as it's the kindest thing under the circumstances, we do what is ultimately best for them and we don't all handle it the same because it's not a cookie cutter decision, we are different people, with different animals, so we make the unique decision (where/how/when) to do what is in their best interest.

 

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