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Tomorrow is two months since Stephen left.  This afternoon has been really hard, and I'm trying not to have predetermined feelings about tomorrow.  Gosh I wish there was some rhyme or reason when grief hits.  I know there is none.  I hate the broken heart feeling....

The only thing that seemed to help is taking off my wedding band and just wearing his.  No idea why this is giving me some comfort, but I'll take it.

Wishing peaceful moments for us all.

~Shirley

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, shebert56 said:

The only thing that seemed to help is taking off my wedding band and just wearing his.  No idea why this is giving me some comfort, but I'll take it.

Do whatever gives you comfort, Shirley. Matters of the heart require no rational explanation. ♥️

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Whatever works for each person.   I tried wearing Steve’s, but it was too bulky.   My ring never leaves my finger.  Just shows how different we all are, yet the same.  It’s the connection now matter how we do it.  

Wishing you some peaceful moments on a very hard day to face.  💖

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15 hours ago, shebert56 said:

The only thing that seemed to help is taking off my wedding band and just wearing his.  No idea why this is giving me some comfort, but I'll take it.

It's weird what brings us comfort and what doesn't, it seems to be unique for each of us, but I'm like you, I'll take whatever I can get.  My wedding band was causing discomfort as it's a wide band, not a comfort fit either, and it caused callouses below it so I had it enlarged, cost me $275 because it has yellow gold and platinum, they had to separate the two kinds and put them back together and then re-inscribe it, but in the end, it was a little too loose for my left hand so I switched it to my right.  It doesn't matter to me which finger it's on, only so it's with me.  I remember the day he placed it on my finger, it means a lot to me, what it symbolizes.  We find comfort in what we can.

Thinking of you today...I don't count months anymore, the annual anniversary of his death, our wedding anniversary, his birthday, those are hard days for me.  I guess they always will be.  I wish peace for you today.

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I hear you all. Cookie put this ring on my ring finger on March 7, 1975. It's never left my finger since then for even one second. I've instructed the young lady that has agreed to take care of my "last wishes" to leave it on me (if they will do it) when I am cremated. I suppose it's my physical connection now to her spirit. I want her to see it still there every time she looks down on me.

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For me it comes in waves , i will be at peace for several hours ( i have not made to days yet) then out of the blue it hits me like a huge wave my Shane is never coming home again . My loss is still very fresh 3 1/2 weeks and was tragic i did not see it coming , but i am a firm believe that god has a plan for us all and this was part of our plan. I would say do whatever gives you comfort . I still have my ring on my left ring finger and his on my right middle finger , at this point i cant bear to take mine off but maybe someday i will be able too.

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1 hour ago, Amy Mcleod said:

I would say do whatever gives you comfort . I still have my ring on my left ring finger and his on my right middle finger , at this point i cant bear to take mine off but maybe someday i will be able too.

Amy:  Yes, do whatever gives you comfort.  It has been three years since I lost my husband, I still wear my wedding ring.  It's not that simple for some of us.  Only you will know when it is time.  I also wear his  wedding band on my right middle finger.  

And, yes the waves will come without any warning.  Take care of yourself.  Dee

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As a saying goes...they will bury me In my boots.  In this case it’s my ring, it’s staying right were it Is as long as I live. 

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Amy, everyone's grief is so different.  But I can tell you the coming in huge waves is very normal.  I'm three months out, and for me, it's softer.  Shane's love will always be with you.  And his spirit will always be connected to yours.

I had Stephen's ring resized and wear it next to mine.

~Shirley

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I'm approaching 20 ms since Susan left with no warning. I still wear my ring and hers are in a bowl on top of her dresser, My life is endless repetition of being OK when I'm focused on the moment, and then a grief attack. 

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