My Kitten Got Into the Dryer

[Mpuck]

I decided to post something today because I feel so lost and so heartbroken that I didn't know what else to do. Last Thursday night as I was getting ready to go to bed I asked my husband to go move his clothes over to the dryer. I can't stop thinking now about how I should have done it myself. We both knew that our 5 month old kitten, Bernard, loved to get into the dryer. My husband and I even had a conversation about what could happen about a week earlier because I was moving things around and he repeatedly jumped back in. I just keep thinking if I had been doing the laundry maybe I would have noticed him just because I usually do it so I tend to double check or if I had just remembered to put his collar that jingled every time he moved back on him or if I had just made a rule that the cat gets put into a room when doing laundry maybe this wouldn't have happened. I don't blame my husband at all. But I do blame myself for not preventing this. I keep replaying the next morning when my husband found him. I just keep hearing it in my head. "Baby its the cat. Something happened with the cat. I'm so sorry." I woke up to that at about 6:50 Friday morning. I spent what felt like an eternity doubled over screaming wheres my cat and my baby. I just keep screaming it in my head days later. Everything I do I think of him. The only relief I've gotten is when I leave my house. Its like I kind of forget for a little bit. Until I get back home and open that door and my cat doesn't come running out. My oldest son (4) has told me hes sorry that I am sad that Littles went to Heaven pretty much every few hours since it happened and my youngest (1) has wondered around calling for his kitty a few times. I feel my heart break all over again every time. Today has been extremely rough. I finally had to deal with our laundry that has been sitting there ever since my husband rewashed and dried everything Friday morning. Our clothes and blankets are stained. I have tried my best not to think about what my husband found in the dryer that morning but doing my laundry I couldn't avoid it anymore and I do not know what to do. I can't go in my laundry room. I cannot touch that dryer and if I could afford to I would have thrown it out. I'm just so lost. I miss my kitten and I feel guilty because my kids can tell that I am not okay. I would give anything to just hold my kitten one more time. I feel like |I don't have anyone to talk to about any of this either. My husband has been a rock throughout this entire ordeal but I know he is broken. He's mentioned that he keeps picturing it. I can't keep- putting this on him but I do not know how to help him when I am falling apart. We got our kitten when he was only about 4 weeks old and we'd been looking for one for months before finding him. I had wanted a cat so bad and now my house feels so much emptier than it did before. This is the first time I have lost an animal like this. I have had a few family pets in the past that had to be put down but they were much older and it was going to be happening soon anyways but my Littles had such a long life ahead of him and now its just gone. The picture I attached is my favorite of him. Its probably a month or two old but he just looks so happy. I loved him so much and I will always be so sorry I let him down.

[MartyT]

My dear, it breaks my heart to read of yet another kitty dying this way. I am astounded to find how often an accident like this keeps happening, and I wish with all my heart that we could find a way to prevent it from ever, ever happening again. I am so sorry for you, for your husband, for your darling Littles, and for all the others who've posted here and written to me with stories like your own. I hope you will read these stories and take some comfort from knowing you are not alone ~ and please note the resources I've included as well:

Curious Cats Get Killed in Clothes Dryers

Curious Cats Still Getting Killed in Clothes Dryers

 

[kayc]

I am so sorry, I know the loss of losing a pet especially prematurely.  I haven't lost a kitten in the dryer but many have, but I did lose our dog Fluffy when he snuck into our van.  I shouldn't have left the door open, it was only a minute while I was giving the cat medicine, then off to work I went.  Hot day, it was closed up just outside my office.  Did he bark, try to get my attention?  What the vet told me has haunted me ever since.  It's been about 21 years yet I've never forgotten.

All we can do is learn from these experiences and be more vigilant with the next one.  We can't undo it, although God knows we'd like to.  I feel for your husband, the image will always be with him, just as my dog rolling out stiff into my arms when I opened the van door that night...we don't forget that.

I'm so sorry, I know all of the what ifs we ask ourselves in a way to find a different possible outcome, but there is none but what happened.  You aren't to blame, neither is your husband, besides affixing blame doesn't help, it only hurts more.  It takes time but I hope you find some peace.  Maybe you could do something with your kids to memorialize your kitten, maybe if you've buried him, you can each put a flower on his grave, a plant would be nice but not the right time of year, perhaps in the Spring?  I'm so sorry, from someone who's been there.

[TmcL]

I am so sorry, we just lost our baby last night.  I can’t stop crying and thinking about what if.  Does the guilt ever fade?

[kayc]

My dog, Arlie, had a botched euthanasia after his hospice with cancer (I provided at home).  They under anesthetized him and he went out in severe pain, all due to their scale being so far off!  12 lbs off!  It haunts me still over 3 years later but to some degree I've had to make peace with it by assuring myself he is now out of pain and in a happy place, and they are the first to forgive.  He has to know I love/d him and only wanted his best, not what happened.  Since I brought him to the vet I was afraid he'd think I wanted what was done to him.

Praying each day gives you a little more comfort in knowing where your kitty is now.