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Where’d everybody go?   I guess that includes me.  I’m going to try not to laugh saying this, but I’m just too shy to post.  😇

really tho...to those having a hard time my heart goes out to you.  To others that are doing OK, I’m happy for you.  Just never seen it go so quiet.

I'm hearing Halloweeners go by and I’m the grinchy old lady with the gate shut.  Just hear daylight savings ends this weekend.  Oh boy!  An hour back to spend feeling (awake or asleep) grief.  Too bad it doesn’t come at least covered in dark chocolate to ease the blow.  

 

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you had me at chocolate!!!!! LOL!!!! 

This time of year is really hard for me. My mind goes back to 3 years ago. Richard was in the hospital and they couldn't figure out what was wrong. Nov. 3 was the day the doctor finally figured it all out and I received the worst news ever. Little did I know that at that point I only had less than 48 hours with him. 

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It was hard last night...I was talking to my friend Jim last night and he had several people there and trick-or-treaters at the door.  I was alone and no one came.  I kept trying to call my son and DIL last night, I wanted to talk to my granddaughter about her Halloween (grandson doesn't talk yet), but when they finally answered the phone, they'd already put her to bed.  :(
Yep, it's been quiet lately, kind of goes in spurts sometimes.

Polly, that must have been a hard memory, no wonder you were up late!

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Things much the same here. No trick or treaters for several years now. Not many small children in this neighborhood and imagine those that are attend the community Halloween in the nearby park.

Even after all these years, had a bit of sobbing while fixing dinner. My son had gone to Fry's for a few groceries. Ron did the grocery shopping and Fry's was his choice of stores. Reminded me of his last days as he struggled to communicate. He couldn't talk so I had given him a pad and pen to write, but his brain wouldn't allow that either. He managed to scribble "wife" one morning, and later "Fry's". Those were the only two things I could read. I somehow think he was telling me to go get groceries. Who knows? Anyhow, that sad memory is burned into my brain along with so many others.

Can't seem to outrun old age. It catches me no matter how fast I run. Am going to have to get more teeth pulled and partial dentures if I want to keep eating. Not what I wanted to hear, but guess I needed another reason to feel depressed.  lol

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This is the time of year my wife loved. She loved Halloween. We even operated a costume shop at one time. She would've worked there without pay just for the chance to wear a different costume every day. I will admit that we had a whale of a good time doing that.  And of course Thanksgiving and Xmas was always wonderful with her.  Now this time of year is always depressing. It's habit by now so I reckon I'll keep doing the "one foot in front of the other" gig.

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Hello, it was quiet at my new digs for Halloween......22 total trick or treaters....Grand kids get the left overs tomorrow, and there is lots.....Slowly adjusting to my new location, people are great, visiting family tomorrow.......House closes today , so that's done(got the money last night)......But still unpacking and downsizing...join local Gym on Monday...

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On 10/31/2018 at 7:38 PM, Gwenivere said:

Where’d everybody go?  

really tho...to those having a hard time my heart goes out to you.  To others that are doing OK, I’m happy for you.  Just never seen it go so quiet.

 

Guess I'm one having a hard time.....my precious fur baby, Maddie just had surgery to remove part of her bladder.  The UTI she had a couple of months ago turned out to be bladder cancer.  I am praying and hoping it was caught soon enough that I can keep her with me for at least another year.  Her oncologist seems to think it is possible.  Interesting that my husband died as a result of bladder cancer surgery. 

My daughter from Oregon has been here with me through this ordeal and keeps telling me I can do this.  I have doubts though.  Dee   😭

 

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12 hours ago, KarenK said:

Can't seem to outrun old age. It catches me no matter how fast I run. Am going to have to get more teeth pulled and partial dentures if I want to keep eating. Not what I wanted to hear, but guess I needed another reason to feel depressed.  lol

KarenK:  So sorry you have this to go through.  When you find a way to outrun old age, and being alone - please pass on the secret.  I could use that secret.  Dee 

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2 hours ago, widow'15 said:

Guess I'm one having a hard time.....my precious fur baby, Maddie just had surgery to remove part of her bladder.  The UTI she had a couple of months ago turned out to be bladder cancer.  I am praying and hoping it was caught soon enough that I can keep her with me for at least another year.  Her oncologist seems to think it is possible.  Interesting that my husband died as a result of bladder cancer surgery. 

My daughter from Oregon has been here with me through this ordeal and keeps telling me I can do this.  I have doubts though.  Dee   😭

 

Oh Dee, I am so sorry to read this.  I truly hope Maddie is not suffering with this.  How is she doing?  I so abhor cancer.  I don’t know which is worse, knowing what is going on or not understanding the changes as animals don’t but they something is wrong.  

 I understand your tears.

 

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15 hours ago, KarenK said:

Can't seem to outrun old age. It catches me no matter how fast I run. 

I guess I thought I would escape it too.  But if we have to, which we do, I was hoping it would be with my best friend.  So sorry about your teeth.  It just never stops.  I understand about the memories.  There are many I wish that flash thing they had in Men in Black really existed.

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Karen,

I'm sorry about your teeth...I hear you, old age catches us faster than we can run!  I was just thinking about my 40s, how I kept the yard so perfect and kept going until midnight, now I can't do yard work and it sadly shows it's neglect, and I poop out by dinner time.  I lament missing all the evening events as I can't drive at night, but in another way it gives me a good excuse to relax, something my body seems to need now earlier than it used to.

Kevin,

Sounds like it's going well, I'm happy for you!  In 42 halloweens up here, I've never had a trick or treater.  The town does a party for the kids so they're safe.  It's changed since I was a kid.  Glad you're settling in, it'll be nice to have the closing over with!

Darrel,

I'm sorry the holidays are so hard for you, I try to enjoy what I can but it's nothing like it used to be when George was here and the kids came home.  Now it's another day alone but I do try to watch the holiday Hallmark movies and invite George to sit with me...we loved the sappy movies where it ended happily ever after.  For a little while we can pretend, Lord knows life isn't like that!

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We had one Halloweenie.  My light was off.  We did not answer the door.  I had forgot to buy candy and if it is laying around, it is usually mine.  Dee, I'm sorry about your fur baby.  I hope things turn out okay.  Do not like to see babies or fur babies hurt.  

Changed the clocks.  That was Billy's job but he has quit doing "his jobs."  He used to would say about dishes, trash, etc.  "That's my job" and woe to anyone who stacked dishes in  left sink.  He would fuss.  Left sink clean, dishes in right.  I find myself doing the same, but he used dishwasher, I don't.  

 

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It’s hard doing everything now.  I didn’t realize what a team we made til it all falls on me now.  Especially as I get  more limited.  Sometimes I just want to cry about the smallest thing because I’m so tired of being so competent and there is no one to ask for help.  There is one guy that comes by to use the studio every couple weeks and if the timing us right, I can save some big job for him.  I also hate having to wait on other things like sweeping the deck of leaves and debris.  Have to wait til trees are done to call the landscaper so trod thru that mess every day.  It’s depressing.  Just like getting my carpets vacuumed.  

Eventually we both would have needed help, but at least we would be together in it.  Go out and do other things.  Maybe balance each other out.  I can’t pickup things easily from the floor, maybe he could and I would be able to do something that hurt him.  But it’s all speculation now.  It also seems more is going wrong now that I have to deal with it.  Often I’d come home and he’d tell me about something he fixed and vice versa.  

T Last night I noticed a self setting clock did not change for daylight savings.  Was in bed and no glasses.  My fuse is so short I got myself worked up into a tizzy.  It was mess with it to find the right buttons to manually set it back or hobble to my desk for my glasses.  I get so tired of wanting to cry if a lightbulb burns out.  It’s that bad.

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I spent Halloween at a neighbors three doors down.  Stephen loved Halloween. Every year we would dress up and set up a little table in the driveway, listen to spooky music, drink a glass or two of wine, while giving out candy.  I couldn't bare it alone this year.  Maybe in the future.  Maybe not.  It ended up being very quiet.  I believe my neighbor received 12 trick or treaters.  But it provided a distraction.  She's a good listener and I just rambled on.

Yesterday was our neighborhood's annual block party.  Informal gathering, bring a dish and a chair.  Listen to the two man band.  I forced myself to go.  Stayed for an hour chatting with neighbors, then came home.  I called my sister crying..... I feel no joy, is this normal?  She validated yes it is.  Still sucks though.  I don't mind forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone, but man, it works on my soul.

I have one clock in my garage that obviously decided to actually connect to the "world clock," whatever that is, and when I woke up, it had set itself to the correct time.  Spooky somehow....

~Shirley

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On 11/2/2018 at 12:49 AM, Gwenivere said:

Oh Dee, I am so sorry to read this.  I truly hope Maddie is not suffering with this.  How is she doing?  I so abhor cancer.  I don’t know which is worse, knowing what is going on or not understanding the changes as animals don’t but they something is wrong.  

 I understand your tears.

 

Thank you Gwen for your comments. The surgery went well and the surgeon felt there were clear margins.  Next thing is how I will decide to fight the cancer, as it is the type that generally comes back.  My Maddie is almost 12 years old, so want to make sure her years with me are as comfortable as can be.  Right now she seems like nothing is wrong except she has to wear the "cone of shame" at night so she doesn't lick the sutures - will have them removed November 10.  Am trying to be positive and take one day at a time.  Dee

 

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14 hours ago, shebert56 said:

I feel no joy, is this normal?

Oh yes!  You are still very early in this, the adjusting is so gradual as to seem imperceptible, that is until we look back to day one and see we've absorbed some of it so that it's slightly more palatable than the shock of finding them gone.  It takes much time to progress through this journey, I guess that's okay, we have the time.  Too much of it, it seems.

Gwen, I read about your leaves on your patio, I swept mine again yesterday, I had to last week too.  My patio is over 30' so it takes a while, esp. with things on it.  Yes everything they used to do is now ours on top of everything.  Had the guy here about the roof yesterday, had to walk Arlie down to pay him.  Something George would have taken care of easily.  At least I'm hoping that takes care of it.  Always something it seems.  Still have to change the clocks in the car and the truck.  I wish they'd quit changing time, it messes up the animals' schedules too.

Dee, I'm glad for Maddie that she'll soon get her cone of shame off.  I can imagine how they hate that!  They haven't found one to fit my dog.  The one they sold me for $35 I returned because he could reach right around it with his long legs and it did no good whatsoever.  One reason I put off having surgery on his cysts, how would I get him to leave them alone and let them heal?  Instead he's had to live with them.

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Oh yeah....rub it in Kay!  I can barely walk from one end of my house to the other and your raking leaves!  🙂

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Dee, clear margins is great news.  I totally understand us doing what we can.  I have a near 14 year old and am doing anything I can to keep her healthy and happy.  Never had luck with cones.  Just policed my kids all the time I could. 

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Not leaves exactly, debris from the firewood, DF needles, just junk that blows in on my patio all the time.  I don't mess with the leaves, they can mulch, except I do have to keep cleaning the trough out in front of my carport, it's covered with a grate and is about 40' long and I have to put my fingers in the grate and pull out the muck and leaves and needles, it's annoying.  A pressure washer would make easy work of it...if I had one.  It needs done again and I've already done it twice in the last month or so.

My son is coming this weekend to swap wood stove doors with me, bringing my granddaughter.  You literally have to take the stupid wood stove apart to get the door off, it doesn't operate like most of them., why I don't know.  He's also going to replace a valve in my outdoor building so I can use a hose outside again (I can't turn it off if I turn it on so haven't been able to use it for a few years).  I don't know if he's planning on swapping cars then or not.  He's setting my new cellphone up on a different plan for me as the current one won't allow my new phone, gave him my pw and pin so he can get it all set up complete with my google contacts and syncing.  I'm in the dark ages with cellphone technology as they don't work in my area and the one I had was about ten years old, before they started numbering them. I hope I can learn my way around it!  I'll be canceling all my plans this weekend to spend time with my granddaughter and son.

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On 11/5/2018 at 1:22 PM, Gwenivere said:

Dee, clear margins is great news.  I totally understand us doing what we can.  I have a near 14 year old and am doing anything I can to keep her healthy and happy.  Never had luck with cones.  Just policed my kids all the time I could. 

Gwen:  Every night when I put the cone on Maddie, this is one less night to wear the cone.  My daughter was staying with me the past three weeks and she found a wonderful soft cone at Mud Bay.  Maddie seems much more comfortable in it and doesn't bump into everything including my shins.   So far, between the two of us watching her like a hawk she has healed well.  Am hoping to keep her with me as long as I can.  I need her more than she needs me.  Dee

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On 11/5/2018 at 5:54 AM, kayc said:

Dee, I'm glad for Maddie that she'll soon get her cone of shame off.  I can imagine how they hate that!  They haven't found one to fit my dog.  The one they sold me for $35 I returned because he could reach right around it with his long legs and it did no good whatsoever.  One reason I put off having surgery on his cysts, how would I get him to leave them alone and let them heal?  Instead he's had to live with them.

Kay:  Trying to visualize your dog reaching around his cone - he must be a real character - keeps you smiling I am sure.  Last year I had a cyst removed from Maddie's  "armpit" and instead of the cone, used a Tank Top.  She looked so cute. 🐶  Dee

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3 hours ago, widow'15 said:

I need her more than she needs me.  Dee

I totally get it.  I don’t know what I’d do without my Ally girl.  I have to help into bed ay night now because I need her curled up with me to sleep.  She's kinda into the ear rubs and petting as I fall asleep.  How much longer for the cone?

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9 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I totally get it.  I don’t know what I’d do without my Ally girl.  I have to help into bed ay night now because I need her curled up with me to sleep.  She's kinda into the ear rubs and petting as I fall asleep.  How much longer for the cone?

Gwen:  Tonight will be the last night with the cone - sutures will be removed tomorrow. 

Have often thought about sleeping with her to calm me some evenings, but sleep in a twin bed - she would probably kick me out on the floor. LOL.  She does sleep in my bedroom in one of her beds.   She has a bed in almost every room in the house.

I love Ally's name.   She sounds cuddly. Dee

 

 

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Dee, I'm glad she gets her cone off today.  My Arlie is too big to sleep with me, but I find comfort hearing him breathe during the night, in the same room as me. 
I bet she will be glad to have the surgery behind her, sutures out and the dreaded cone gone!

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