shubom Posted April 28, 2006 Report Share Posted April 28, 2006 I just found out the cause of my mother’s death. In Jan she went to sleep and never woke up. We found out that she died of natural causes, the papers mentioned something such as vascular disease and maybe her heart. But nothing major contributed to it. She just died. She was only 56 yrs old and I miss her so much. When I first heard the news, I felt a sense of relief that I finally knew what caused her death. I felt like I can now close that chapter in my life, and move on. And also I felt that no matter what, I couldn’t have done nothing to help her. She died quickly. But then a few moments later, I became extremely sad. It’s like I lost her all over again! And I REALLY couldn’t do anything to help her ! She’s really gone! I feel so hurt right now, I can’t even think straight. Last night I had a dream, and when I woke up, I turned over and said “I miss my mom”, and then started to cry. But then, my aunt who’s sleeping on the other side of the room heard me and said, “I know sweetie, we miss her too.” I was shocked someone said something, and sat up?! And that moment, I realized what I said, and was shocked that I said it out loud. I stopped crying because someone was listening me. Sometimes I try not to reveal my feelings to people, because they have a tendency to step on them or use it against me or they just really don't care as much as I do. But I’m glad my aunt didn’t think it was weird what I said. But then I spend all night trying to figure out what I dreamed about to make me blurt my deepest emotion and hurt out loud ! Gosh I miss her so much……I can’t stop crying……. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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