olemisfit Posted December 23, 2018 Report Share Posted December 23, 2018 My hope for all of us is that the pain we all live with now is not so all-consuming and that we can begin to find some things to smile about again. MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE One foot in front of the other (we can all do this!)...Darrel 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted December 23, 2018 Report Share Posted December 23, 2018 And to you, Darrel. My wish is for lasting peace in all our hearts. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widow'15 Posted December 23, 2018 Report Share Posted December 23, 2018 6 hours ago, olemisfit said: MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE One foot in front of the other (we can all do this!)...Darrel Darrel: Thank you for your Holiday Wishes and yes, "One foot in front of the Other" - as hard as it is some days, I do keep trying. May you and your sweet fur baby enjoy your Holidays together. Dee 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olemisfit Posted December 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2018 1 hour ago, widow'15 said: Darrel: Thank you for your Holiday Wishes and yes, "One foot in front of the Other" - as hard as it is some days, I do keep trying. May you and your sweet fur baby enjoy your Holidays together. Dee Thank you Dee, and bless you for what you said. I started including the one foot in front of the other line on my posts shortly after I started posting my comments here to try to inspire myself because each day was such a struggle for me. I honestly had no idea that it would be noticed by others the way it has. I'm amazed and humbled by all of you. And if those words have been a teeny tiny help to even one person here, all I can say is thank you Lord for putting those words on my keyboard. God bless you all. And-- wait for it... One foot in front of the other... Darrel 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 24, 2018 Report Share Posted December 24, 2018 Darrel, thank you for your wishes...how are you doing? Are you alone? I'll be alone today, waiting to see how Christmas turns out as they're still predicting snow and I'm hoping against hope it doesn't come. Merry Christmas to YOU! Yes, one foot in front of the other... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olemisfit Posted December 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2018 49 minutes ago, kayc said: Darrel, thank you for your wishes...how are you doing? Are you alone? I'll be alone today, waiting to see how Christmas turns out as they're still predicting snow and I'm hoping against hope it doesn't come. Merry Christmas to YOU! Yes, one foot in front of the other... Good morning Kay. I hope you are well. Yes to the being alone today, as I am every day. That isn't intended as whining about it. I've gotten to where I'm a little bit better about accepting it. It is what it is. This apartment building is going to be a bit empty today and tomorrow. Many of the people here will be with their family members that live nearby. But someone here is going to bring me a plate of their Christmas dinner tomorrow, so my tummy will be happy. Our weather tomorrow is supposed to be in the mid 50's. None of that white stuff here to wake up to on Christmas day. If I remember correctly you're in Oregon. I spent the entire week between Christmas and New Year's Day one year while I was "truckin" snowed in at a truckstop in Burns. Talk about having cabin fever by the time I was able to get away from there! lol Then when I was able to put Oregon behind me for that trip I had to climb cabbage hill with ice underneath the snow. That was a barrel of laughs also. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger! I hope you can somehow have a pleasant day tomorrow. I've got my little critter to keep my spirits up. One foot in front of the other... Darrel 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shebert56 Posted December 24, 2018 Report Share Posted December 24, 2018 Blessings to all of you for Christmas. I chose to drive four states away to spend Christmas with family. I have to admit, it's been quite emotional. I'm happy to be here, but in some ways sad to be away from home. This being my first without Stephen, not sure what I was going to feel. The normal quiet is filled with constant stimulation, and it has been overwhelming. Whatever we do, wherever we are, Merry Christmas and peace to all. ~Shirley 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomPB Posted December 24, 2018 Report Share Posted December 24, 2018 Hi All, it's my second without her. Susan was the one who loved Christmas so as I decorate in her memory I'm always opening what I think of as her things. Taking train to my brother's in New Haven tomorrow and I'm giving the women in my family Susan's scarves addressed as from "Susan and Tom". At my counselor's suggestion last year I put a note to my current self with the decorations when I put them away so now I read it. It asks if I've found a point to my life, if it felt real or still fake, you get the picture. I suppose I have fewer grief attacks but just as intense when they come. That's what she told me to expect. I had a dream that I was in our rented condo in Ptown and I was waiting for Susan for us to go out and do something, getting annoyed she was late. Finally I opened the door to go myself and she was standing outside the door. I take that to mean she is close, if only I can see. Yesterday a close woman friend and I cooked together and shared a special meal. It was very warm but also strange to be doing the same thing I would do with Susan. She said she felt Susan's presence in the bathroom and I asked if Susan told her to stay away from her 🐼and we had a good laugh. I avoid words like Merry and Happy, but my very best and warmest wishes to all walking this painful journey. It is a fearful thing, to love what death can touch. Tom 🐼 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted December 24, 2018 Report Share Posted December 24, 2018 1 hour ago, TomPB said: I avoid words like Merry and Happy, but my very best and warmest wishes to all walking this painful journey. It is a fearful thing, to love what death can touch. I don’t us those words either. Not now. What I hope for is less pain for us all. To love what death can touch made me cry. It’s so true. I don’t know how I will get thru today and tomorrow. I’d like to make it like any other day like always, but I can’t. I. Wish I could be like my dogs as they don’t care about the trimmings. Just routine and contentment. I'm glad some of you have people in your lives, even if you can’t be with them right now. Without Steve and his connections and my losing my ability to go the places I did, it’s am imposed solitude I’m not sure how one adjusts to. We never had kids so there is no one that I mean anything to besides an aquaintance. What few friends I had are all gone except little passing hi's now and then. And I had to go to them. I don’t know what it’s like to have company for dinner or chats anymore. It’s not healthy for the mind or body. It’s my mothers birthday today and I am full of thoughts of her and how when I got older would make sure she had a day that wasn’t shared totally with Christmas. i know Mitch and Tammy were married today. Hope he is holding up. Alone Is alone is alone. Oh yeah, I got a UPS delivery. Supplies for my oxygen condenser. How touching. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CairnLady Posted December 24, 2018 Report Share Posted December 24, 2018 My wish for all of us is a measure of peace and solace. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittam99 Posted December 25, 2018 Report Share Posted December 25, 2018 4 hours ago, CairnLady said: My wish for all of us is a measure of peace and solace. That's my wish for everyone as well. Very tough day today... it's our wedding anniversary. Tammy loved Christmas more than anyone I know and Christmas eve was her favorite day of the year. When I proposed, I suggested a small wedding back in her hometown on Christmas Eve. Our wedding took place at her parents house with a small group of family and friends. We read our vows right in front of the family's Christmas tree. This was also the time of year in 2014 that Tammy's health took a terrible turn for the worse. So, for so many reasons, the holiday season now takes on a completely different feeling, to say the least. The cold weather doesn't help either. Where is my Tammy to snuggle up with? Spring can't get here soon enough! I got a text message from Tammy's sister today mentioning how wonderful and loving our wedding was. And how happy the day was. My reply was simply that the day Tammy came into my life was the beginning of the best part of my life. Tammy was a joy to be with. I was blessed when she said "yes" and she showered me with unending love and understanding. As I'm sure most of you do, I talk to Tammy from time to time. Well ok, you probably talk to your beloved spouses and not Tammy, but you know what I mean. Today, I looked up to heaven and wanted to tell Tammy "Happy Anniversary" but I couldn't get the word "happy" out of my mouth. Instead, I told her I love her forever and always. Finally... Gwen, thank you for remembering about our anniversary. That really touched me so much. 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 25, 2018 Report Share Posted December 25, 2018 Mitch, I was thinking about you yesterday and this morning, I know it's hard having your anniversary at Christmas and missing her, but like me, you've also come to appreciate that we had the best and if that means missing them now, well it's small price (okay big price) for having the love and wonderment that we had for a time. Sending you wishes for peace and any smidgen of happiness today. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 I don´t know what to say with regards to holidays. Perhaps "I wish a peaceful time as much as it could be". "I wish this too shall pass". My Xmas was a sad one, and these days I feel very sad. Did I grow strong to face them? Probably. At the same time, it´s sad to try to be strong so as to face a week of the year when everybody seems to be really happy and sharing good news. Just only one friend, who is grieving, told me: "I understad why are you sad". "Count your blessings" "your boyfriend would want you to be happy". Somehow it makes me feel sadder and ashamed. If someone feels ashamed of still grieving, I would like to suggest the following article (just click on the title): Grief and Shame: An unnaceptable combination You all are on my thougts and prayers. Ana 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 Very good article, Ana ~ thank you for sharing ♥️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittam99 Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 9 hours ago, scba said: If someone feels ashamed of still grieving... No one should ever feel ashamed for "still grieving". This loss means not just losing the love of our life, and the magnitude of that. It literally has put us into a completely different new place. A lonely, empty place where we feel surrounded by happy people in love. Feeling fenced in by a sense of angst and misery. This isn't grief that just magically goes away. It's here with us for the rest of our lives. We simply learn to live with it and adapt the best we can. There is absolutely no shame in that. My heart truly goes out to you, Ana. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 Well I managed to see everyone,4 kids, 6 grandkids and old friends, including my X Wife and her Husband...Its times like this that I like the idea of me moving back to frozen North...On that note I took sick this morning and have a flu or something(itchy throat and congestion)....I wish everyone the best in this Journey we are all on.... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 27, 2018 Report Share Posted December 27, 2018 Thank you for sharing that article Ana...I saved it under "Judging Grief" so I could find it again. I don't know why people apply a dose of "shoulds" to grief, they're not the one walking in our shoes or anyone else's. This is for life. It is ever evolving but sometimes so slowly as to seem imperceptible. But it's always with us, it's us that learn to live with the grief...not do away with it. And it is what it is. We feel what we feel. Not for anyone else to judge or shame us. Kevin, sorry to hear you;re sick! Just how cold is it in your frozen North? It's cold enough here, getting snow off and on. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted December 28, 2018 Report Share Posted December 28, 2018 KayC we have had days Zero or colder quite often and our highs are 32 degrees F......Next month we will get -20 but that is usually without wind.......But still 12 weeks of winter to go.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted December 28, 2018 Report Share Posted December 28, 2018 My gawd, Kevin! You all must be built differently up there. That’s soooooo far out of my comfort zone. I get hot and cold in my own house! 🌂🧦🧣 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 28, 2018 Report Share Posted December 28, 2018 14 hours ago, kevin said: KayC we have had days Zero or colder quite often and our highs are 32 degrees F......Next month we will get -20 but that is usually without wind.......But still 12 weeks of winter to go.. Wow! I'm wimpy! I think cold is in the 20s and warm is at least in the 40s! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted December 28, 2018 Report Share Posted December 28, 2018 The weather is dry so that makes it somewhat bearable...Its always freezing at night so the outdoor rinks are getting the crowds......Going to do some very light shoveling today, still got chest cold but definitely feeling better..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 Take it easy on yourself. Shoveling is hard work! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted December 30, 2018 Report Share Posted December 30, 2018 Day 5 of my "flu" and I think I'm feeling almost human...I am a wimp when it comes to sickness...Watching lots of Halmark movies and drinking Soups The weather is a refreshing -4 F today, will spend 20 minutes shoveling again...Its light fluffy stuff , its the cool weather that has me hesitating.....Have a Good New Years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widow'15 Posted December 30, 2018 Report Share Posted December 30, 2018 1 hour ago, kevin said: The weather is a refreshing -4 F today, will spend 20 minutes shoveling again......Have a Good New Years Kevin: -4 F is refreshing? Oh my Goodness. ❄️ Am happy to see you are feeling better today, but don't over-do the shoveling. At least the sun has finally come out here in the Pacific Northwest today, with 45 degrees. My dog and I will have a nice walk and I will attempt to pick up as many fir branches in my yard as I can before the next wind and rain storms begin again. Have a Blessed New Year. Dee 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomPB Posted December 31, 2018 Report Share Posted December 31, 2018 No snow in Boston but I have either flu or food poisoning. I think it's the first time I've been sick since living alone and I have very dark thoughts lying in bed alone, thinking about how Susan would have been looking out for me. I've had some nice texts and advice from one woman friend and another brought me liquids but it doesn't fill that hole. Best to all TomPB 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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