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olemisfit

Happy New Year to everyone

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Well folks, I hope and pray that 2019 is a better year for all of us.  Lord knows, we deserve it!

So today begins year #4 for me. The day that is supposed to be full of hope and promise for us turned into a day of sadness for me 3 years ago. I spent a big part of yesterday trying to think of ways to make 2019 a better year for myself.  I am tired of these constant carpet burns on my chin. I don't like constantly being depressed and unhappy any more than anyone else does. It's not a fun place to be. There will always be those trigger events that will cause me to backslide, but my objective for this new year is to try harder to find something each day to smile about. I flipped through our picture album a while ago, and I got through it without my eyes leaking any. If I didn't have my memories I really would be out there wandering around in the proverbial ugly wilderness. 

I have no concrete way of knowing that Cookie and I actually will have our reunion in heaven. Heck, it could just be a pipe dream I have. But I choose to believe it will happen. Thank goodness that faith and hope are free. So long as it's free, I will always keep my bucket full of them both.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ONE AND ALL!

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

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1 hour ago, olemisfit said:

I have no concrete way of knowing that Cookie and I actually will have our reunion in heaven.

How could it be heaven without it?  I can't imagine going to heaven and not meeting up with George!  I want a big bear hug!

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I too hope that 2019 is a better year for all of us. 

Darrel, my thoughts and prayers go out to you this day, which I know is so terribly hard for you. I too had to make that decision and sign those papers. In a few days it will be two and a half years for me. I have yet to make it through an entire day without crying an ocean of tears.

My mountain of anxiety starts in the early hours each day, and soon thereafter the tsunami of grief comes and gut punches me in to the abyss where I flounder, reliving those horrible events.

Some days I can climb out in a relatively short time, other days it’s an all day battle. Only in the late afternoon and evenings am I mostly ok, most likely because I am simply exhausted emotionally.

It is my hope again for this year (as it was for 2018) that I can finally get to a place where I can make it through a day without tears. I didn’t make it today.

Dear Lord, I pray, please help us all find peace, comfort, and the strength to carry our grief each day.

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10 hours ago, olemisfit said:

Thank goodness that faith and hope are free. So long as it's free, I will always keep my bucket full of them both.

Such a wonderful and inspirational sentiment Darrel.  I really needed to read this today.  You have no idea how you've uplifted my spirit!

Hugs,

~Shirley

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2 hours ago, shebert56 said:

Such a wonderful and inspirational sentiment Darrel.  I really needed to read this today.  You have no idea how you've uplifted my spirit!

Hugs,

~Shirley

Thanks for the kind words Shirley. I aim to please! lol I pray you started this new year with a good day today.

Have you smiled today? It isn't to late-the day ain't over yet. I did manage to smile today---and my face didn't even crack. How bout them apples!

Something to maybe brighten your day

!nbgsadofsi.gif.1898d89d11b842d2881bd7dafa2dc03e.gif

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16 hours ago, olemisfit said:

Well folks, I hope and pray that 2019 is a better year for all of us.  Lord knows, we deserve it!

So today begins year #4 for me. The day that is supposed to be full of hope and promise for us turned into a day of sadness for me 3 years ago. I spent a big part of yesterday trying to think of ways to make 2019 a better year for myself.  I am tired of these constant carpet burns on my chin. I don't like constantly being depressed and unhappy any more than anyone else does. It's not a fun place to be. There will always be those trigger events that will cause me to backslide, but my objective for this new year is to try harder to find something each day to smile about. I flipped through our picture album a while ago, and I got through it without my eyes leaking any. If I didn't have my memories I really would be out there wandering around in the proverbial ugly wilderness.

Darrel:  You did it again - you seem to know just how to say the words that help put my thinking onto the right track.  Thank you and it is my hope you will have the 2019 you pray for.  Sounds like you made it through the day.  Dee

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11 hours ago, olemisfit said:

Have you smiled today? It isn't to late-the day ain't over yet.

Indeed I did!

 

11 hours ago, olemisfit said:

Something to maybe brighten your day

So thoughtful, thank you!  And this starts my new day off perfectly!

 

Although tradition in my home dictates that the holiday tree and lights are up until January 7, I took the tree down yesterday.  The outside lights come down today.  I'll start back up with the tradition next year.

January 7 is my next challenge, as that is Russian Christmas.  Stephen was Orthodox.  I do have perogies in the freezer that Stephen ordered last year.  I'll celebrate him with these.

~Shirley

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Thought this was very beautiful and moving. As Darrel so eloquently stated, faith and hope are free.....

Wet eyes alert....

Together In Heaven

My dearest friends and family there are things I'd like to say:

first of all I'll let you know I arrived here safe today.

I am sending word from heaven where I'll dwell with God above;

there are no tears and sorrow, there is only peace and love.

I had to leave you as my time on earth was through;

loved ones waited for me just as I will wait for you.

God gave me many tasks he wishes me to do;

high up on the list is watching over all of you.

Don't think I do not hear you because I am out of sight;

remember I am with you every morning, noon and night.

When your load gets heavy don't cry too many tears;

then I can whisper to you what you will need to hear.

I always will be near you to guide you through each day;

remember when you need me I am just a thought away.

Our love will build a highway and our memories a lane;

I'll walk right down from heaven and be with you again.

Remember when you miss me and I am on your mind;

although you will not see me I'll be just a step behind.

When your life on earth is over and your soul is finally free;

believe me when I tell you, you'll be coming home with me."

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Thank you for sharing that CairnLady. I've never seen it before. Things like that do seem to lighten the load, even if only temporarily. Thanks very much!

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

Cookie left this for me in one of here journals. I like it also...

166465713_IAmAlwaysWithYou.thumb.jpg.93fc9937d49f90602ba1b6a4cfa85e74.jpg

 

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I have to share my afternoon.

Late morning, I began to grieve.  I've had partial days of grief since I return home Sunday.

When checking my mail, I found a card taped to my door from a neighbor.  Inside was written "Whatever soothes your soul and gives you peace and happiness is wished for you this year."

Then when needing to get out, I drove to Walgreens.  Browsing the Christmas stuff, I ran into a woman who had me laughing with her sense of humor at picking up something that obviously wasn't supposed to be on the sale shelf and how this would go down when she checked out.  After a few moments, I told her that I lost my husband four months ago, and that it is said angels come in all forms, so keep your eyes open for them.  I told her she was my angel today.  She then chuckled and said honey, I had a lung removed due to cancer 13 years ago, and here I still am!  I find something to laugh about every day!

To top it off, we parked near each other. She actually came over to me and gave me her name and phone number.  She said if you need to talk, or to laugh, call me anytime.

Wow.  

So remember, angels are everywhere.  We sometimes just don't see them.

~Shirley

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19 hours ago, CairnLady said:

Together In Heaven

My dearest friends and family there are things I'd like to say:

first of all I'll let you know I arrived here safe today.

I am sending word from heaven where I'll dwell with God above;

there are no tears and sorrow, there is only peace and love.

I had to leave you as my time on earth was through;

loved ones waited for me just as I will wait for you.

God gave me many tasks he wishes me to do;

high up on the list is watching over all of you.

Don't think I do not hear you because I am out of sight;

remember I am with you every morning, noon and night.

When your load gets heavy don't cry too many tears;

then I can whisper to you what you will need to hear.

I always will be near you to guide you through each day;

remember when you need me I am just a thought away.

Our love will build a highway and our memories a lane;

I'll walk right down from heaven and be with you again.

Remember when you miss me and I am on your mind;

although you will not see me I'll be just a step behind.

When your life on earth is over and your soul is finally free;

believe me when I tell you, you'll be coming home with me."

Where did you find this?  I am saving it for my grief support group but I like to give credit where it is due...I love this!  Thank you for sharing it with us.

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18 hours ago, shebert56 said:

So remember, angels are everywhere.  We sometimes just don't see them.

Thank you for sharing that with us...laughter is indeed very good for the soul!

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kayc

Unfortunately, I do not know the original source. it was sent to me in an email from another widow who runs a widows meetup group in NJ and simply said she saw it as part of the obituary for an unknown woman’s husband some time ago.

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Thanks, I tried doing a search even with poetry and funeral sites, but came up empty handed.

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