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Blue Captain

Home For Christmas (or not)

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My house didn't feel like home when I came back for Christmas. It felt like a film set or stage set, that I had to be a different person again. Mom was back to being taboo and it was very difficult. Guess I got used to seeing her photos at my apartment or freely speaking of her while at school. The urge to bolt was there but my little brother helped me control it.

On another note, there's this couple I met at college-- nice people who I became friends with. To them I'm a regular college kid not a stereotypical rich kid. Over time, I came to see them as parent figures. Is that normal? Am I unknowingly replacing my parents?  

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My friend, there is nothing wrong with going out in the world and discovering people outside your own family circle whom you come to enjoy, to like or even to love. Doing that in no way replaces your parents! We each have only one mother and father, and they are undoubtedly a part of us ~ but many of us eventually grow up, leave home, and find lots and lots of other people we are drawn to that are very different from our own parents and our families of origin  ~ It may be because we admire them, have fun with them, or we realize that we simply enjoy their company, or we find that we can learn new and different things from them, or we may decide that we admire them and want to imitate them or be more like them ~ All of these are valid reasons for wanting to become friends with people other than our parents.  That is not being disloyal to your parents. It is part of growing up and becoming your own person. It is one of the benefits of going to college and, perhaps for the first time in your life, living away from home and meeting people on your own ~ people of your own choosing, as you learn to develop your own circle of friends and acquaintances, apart from the people you've met through your parents.

As for "mom back to being taboo again", you might appreciate this article: I Don't Care How Long It's Been--Can We Talk About My Loved One?  ♥️

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This is not only normal but to be expected, I'd say.  When we leave home, we experience new people and try new things...it is then we begin to discover who we are, what makes us feel comfortable.  You will always love your parents, but this is the time to discover who YOU are and what makes YOU comfortable and form who you are going forward.  You'll always come back to your childhood home to see your little brother and dad, but I'm glad you've met new people and can develop who you are for yourself.

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