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ayrton88

Help...just lost my little cat

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I'm so sorry.   I thought going through this alone would be harder.   I guess everyone has to grieve on their own no matter how many people surround them.  

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I know. I really thought this loss would be easier to manage. I’ve lost a rescue dog in my 20’s, then one in my 30’s. Almost 49 and with s family in the house and while certainly it’s different, it’s not better. The good thing is I’m forced to get out of bed and have a routine. But I still feel scared, alone and disconnected. My husband never liked the dog. I had him before marriage. The house is full of memories...in every room. So crushingly painful. I stayed home with my child and the dog duryimg the day. She’s not old enough to talk or notice he’s gone. I was the sole parent to the dog. 

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Even though I have my new cat Emmie,   I still miss Joy terribly.  That said,   Emmie is quickly worming her way into my heart.   I'm so glad I got her.   Would a new pet be possible?

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Well, I really hope to get another one day soon. I know from experience from the other two losses that it takes me 2-3 months to be able to adopt another. Unfortunately, my husband of 6 years is dead -set against another dog. It’s going to be a huge problem. I’ve never -not- had a dog. Even as a kid we had family dogs. I told him before we married I would always have a dog. 

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So you told him that and after you married he decided no to dogs?  Hmm...the only thing I ever really bucked my kids' dad on was getting a dog.  He grew to love him as much as I did and was devastated when he died, but oh we butted heads when I got him!  I told him he had a dog growing up and his kids were going to also!   I'm kind of the same way, it takes me a while to be ready to get another one.  When I lost my last one it was about 2 1/2 months before I was ready to get another.

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Sorry to hear that.   I guess there are some benefits to living alone.  My girlfriend is a cat lover as well so we don't have a problem as far as that goes. 

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Yeah, he knew the first date. I had recently had a date with a guy who was grossed out by the fact that my dog slept on the bed. So I told my husband on our first date, “Hey, I’ve always had a dog, he will always sleep on my bed, just telling you upfront that I’m a real dog person.”  Then he tried to fight me about the dog sleeping on the bed after we married. I held firm. Sadly it’s really the only major way we are not suited for each other. 

Day five without my friend. I hate going to sleep because of the dreams. Then I hate waking up because of the panic attacks. 

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I feel your pain.   I wish I could say something to make things better.   I still find myself almost tearing up when looking at old pictures of Joy.   I also find myself inadvertently calling Emmie Joy.   That's going to take a while.   I think I got real lucky with Emmie because she is such a little sweetheart.   So gentle and loves play.   I still feel bad that losing Joy affected me more than my father.   Dad was 96 and was begging for God to take him so it wasn't a surprise when he left us.  Such a relief actually

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That's the sad thing about the loss of a companion animal. That we feel bad for "loving them more" or "missing them more" or, being "more affected by" the loss. Somehow we are made to feel this is wrong, because it's "just an animal". But, it's a creature we loved fiercely with our entire being, who was solely dependent on us. Acombination of child and best friend, I guess. I wish we could  be proud that we connected with a helpless creature and protected them with all our might, instead of feeling shame. 

I think I would feel relief too, if my parent was ready to go... And you "left home" a long time ago, like you were supposed to. You were supposed to move on to your "new family". 

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14 hours ago, ayrton88 said:

I still feel bad that losing Joy affected me more than my father.

Try not to feel bad for that, it's common and totally normal...you were living with Joy, not your dad, and she was in your everyday life.  I know it sounds terrible, but when my dog goes, I will mourn him way more than I did my mom, but the relationship is different and so was the everyday experience, and as you said, she was in her 90s and ready to go. 

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