My Dad And Uncle Both Died, Feel Lost

[Diana]

My uncle died of stage IV non-small cell cancer on Oct 5 and my dad died Nov. 14 of small cell cancer. I was my dad's primary caregiver during his last month and his POA-Health Care. I made the decision to override my dad (he didn't want hospice) because he had stopped eating/drinking/taking care of himself for 3 days. I'm trying to be 'strong', but this weekend has been very hard. Dad died 3 days before my birthday and we were really close. Dad always said that people actually grieve for the living; for the missed opportunites they had. But I just keep seeing my dad's face in my mind and reliving all the times we were really close. Before, they made me happy (even after he died) now I just get depressed and cry. Is this normal?

[Penny]

Hi Diana. I think what you are feeling is very normal. My Mom lived with me for 12 years before she passed away on Oct 11 of this year. It has been less than 3 months and I still cry every day. It is too painful for me to think of her very often. I am told that the day will come when I can think of her and smile instead of cry. I'll be glad when that day arrives for you and me both. Take care.