sandyanne

[Sandyanne]

My husband of 44 years, Peter. died five months ago.  Since then, I can't remember much about him at all or the events and experiences that we shared.  I know you will all say that I'm just numb and this is normal.  But although I can't say I'm enjoying life, I am functioning reasonably well in all other areas of life. I keep very busy and have good friends who support me wonderfully.  .    A small part of me feels guilty that I'm not thinking of Peter much, or honouring his memory, but I know that Peter would very much understand and be pleased for me.   Is this a normal stage of grief and will I be hit with a tsunami of pain before too long?

[MartyT]

 

41 minutes ago, Sandyanne said:

Is this a normal stage of grief and will I be hit with a tsunami of pain before too long?

My dear, since grief is as personal and as individual as the person experiencing it, the only honest answer I can give you is to say that yes, this is normal ~ for YOU. You are the only one who is walking in your shoes. How you respond to the death of your husband depends on factors that are unique to you alone: your personality, your individual strengths and weaknesses, your values, your personal belief system, your past experience with loss, the relationship you had with your spouse, the support system you have around you now ~ the list of factors is endless. While it's helpful to learn about what is "normal" in grief, you're still left with having to travel this path by yourself as you figure out your own way through it and discover what is "normal" for YOU. If you find that you're still troubled about the way you are coping with your loss, a session or two with a qualified grief counselor may be in order, if only to give you the reassurance that you need.

[kayc]

Sandyanne,

Welcome here...this is YOUR normal, and count yourself fortunate that you have a good support system, it's one of the most important things we can have and not everyone does.  As long as you're addressing your grief, try not to worry about what may (or may not) come, take it as it comes.