Green Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 My sons and daughter and grandchildren are wonderful, and grieving too for their dad/ granddad, but when I am with them I want to be aware of their lives, My husband of 57 years died January 28, after a long illness (pulmonary fibrosis), such a strong healthy 80 year old up until that August 2016. I thought I'd go first. I have some widowed friends who I can talk with about it somewhat, but I don't see them that often. The point is, I need support, maybe just online, time and space to grieve, so I can live my life as best I can. It's complicated, I'm left with bills, and the big house I couldn't bear to live in anymore, a long slog to decide what to take to a much smaller condo, selling all of our things and giving or throwing away most of it, so heartbreaking, I couldn't go there anymore after a while. Now it's almost sold, so I'll be out from under the mortgage, hopefully. It's been a long cold winter here (near Chicago). He died only 2 months ago, but it seems so long. Miss him, miss him, miss him. Love never dies. I wasn't sleeping, worrying all the time, doc gave me something, but warned me, it won't stop from grieving. Spring coming, life springs anew, death shadows the sunniest days. This sorrow weighs me down, not all the time, I am sort of functioning again, knowing he is at peace, maybe still with me in spirit. Certainly in my mind and heart. I want to write here what I have said, but I know people don't want to hear me saying it over and over again. The sweet songs run through my head, "Its very clear, our love is here to stay...forever and a day..." "We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, but we'll meet again some sunny day..." , "I remember you, you're the one who made my dreams com true, a few kisses ago..." If you're my age, you may remember Ella Fitzgerald singing that so beautifully. Starting my evening cry. Not always, sometimes morning. Sometimes just heartache, trying to distract from it. Yet I can keep going, one foot in front of the other, life is worthwhile, I still have something to give. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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