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Dounia

my kitten got killed by accident

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I'm crying while u'm writing this i killed my kitten by accident it just happened 2 hours ago some wood in the house my mom kept it there last 3 days i told her not to bcuz i was afraid that woods maybe could fall on my kittens she didn't listen to me this morning i came to the house after school n saw my precious kittens lookin at me Shiro , Juliette and Ghost  i love them so much i love them more than i love my family idk i just really appreciate them they were looking at me with their beautiful eyes  my other cat run over that woods n it fell on my kitten the one who called Shiro i was yelling n crying n begging my dad to take him to the vet but he told that Shiro is gone there was so much blood on his head n i can't believe that befor 5 minuts he was jst looking at me woth his innocent grey eyes n now he's gone but i blame myself i feel responsible for what happened i kept crying n yelling what made things worse my dad beat me n cursed me because i was crying he said that i'm psychopath my mom didn't defend me n she agreed with him he started to beat  me as usual he said i'm the men of the house when i say " stop crying " that mean u must stop crying ! I HATE HIM I HOPE HIS DEATH GONNA BE THE SAME OR WRSE THAT MY KITTEN DEATH I HATE MY PAREBTS FOR WHAT THEY DID SO MUCH I WANT THEM TO DIE THEY ALMOST TOOK MY CAT N START THREATENING ME they think an 18 yo women shouldn't cry or raise her voice ( my family is a Muslim  ) because people outside will hear her crying n this gonna make my dad embarrassing IMAGING MY DAD IS ANGRY BCUZ HE'S GONNA GET EMBARRASSED BCUZ OF HIS DAUTHER TEARS  ! i begged them to not take my children ( my cats) they made thing worse n i feel like i'm gonna die my heart is hurting so much n i can't get over the death of my kitten the only thing that is stopping from committing suicide is my other cats n kittens they have no one to take card of them n i can't stay away from them i'm sorry for writing all this i wish that my cat will forgive me for what happens i'm so sorry   

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2 hours ago, Dounia said:

I'm crying while u'm writing this i killed my kitten by accident it just happened 2 hours ago some wood in the house my mom kept it there last 3 days i told her not to bcuz i was afraid that woods maybe could fall on my kittens she didn't listen to me this morning i came to the house after school n saw my precious kittens lookin at me Shiro , Juliette and Ghost  i love them so much i love them more than i love my family idk i just really appreciate them they were looking at me with their beautiful eyes  my other cat run over that woods n it fell on my kitten the one who called Shiro i was yelling n crying n begging my dad to take him to the vet but he told that Shiro is gone there was so much blood on his head n i can't believe that befor 5 minuts he was jst looking at me woth his innocent grey eyes n now he's gone but i blame myself i feel responsible for what happened i kept crying n yelling what made things worse my dad beat me n cursed me because i was crying he said that i'm psychopath my mom didn't defend me n she agreed with him he started to beat  me as usual he said i'm the men of the house when i say " stop crying " that mean u must stop crying ! I HATE HIM I HOPE HIS DEATH GONNA BE THE SAME OR WRSE THAT MY KITTEN DEATH I HATE MY PAREBTS FOR WHAT THEY DID SO MUCH I WANT THEM TO DIE THEY ALMOST TOOK MY CAT N START THREATENING ME they think an 18 yo women shouldn't cry or raise her voice ( my family is a Muslim  ) because people outside will hear her crying n this gonna make my dad embarrassing IMAGING MY DAD IS ANGRY BCUZ HE'S GONNA GET EMBARRASSED BCUZ OF HIS DAUTHER TEARS  ! i begged them to not take my children ( my cats) they made thing worse n i feel like i'm gonna die my heart is hurting so much n i can't get over the death of my kitten the only thing that is stopping from committing suicide is my other cats n kittens they have no one to take card of them n i can't stay away from them i'm sorry for writing all this i wish that my cat will forgive me for what happens i'm so sorry   

 

My dear, I am so sorry for all that happened, with your kitty, with your dad and mom, all of it.  I hope you will forgive yourself, you never meant for this to happen.  Please don't commit suicide, life will get better but in order for you to realize that you have to live it out and give it that chance.  I'm glad your kittens have you to take care of them.  Try to get away and be alone so your dad won't get mad at you.  I don't know where you live if you are in the US or another country.  If you truly feel suicidal, here is a number to call 1-800-273-8255.  I'm sorry your dad beat you, that's abuse and against the law here.  You say you're 18, I hope you have a job and can support yourself soon, you and your kitties.  I know what it feels like, my mom and first husband were abusive like that.  All you can do is try to take care of yourself and your kittens.  For now try not to cross him, I know it's hard and it's complicated...are you still in school?

Are you okay physically?  I know the emotional damage is far greater than any bruises inflicted.  And it doesn't heal very easily.  My earlier life was one of abuse, until I got away and determined no one would ever hit me again.  It took a lot of counseling and learning to get through it.

Meanwhile you have us to come to and talk to.  Your kitty forgives you already, you didn't intend for any of this to happen.  I hope in reading this article it will help you realize you are not alone in feeling responsible for a pet's death...I've been there.  I didn't see my dog get into my van when the back end was open, he ended up sneaking in and being real quiet and my van was locked up all day in the heat and he died, I didn't discover it until I got off work and opened the door.  I never meant any of it to happen and I was devastated.  I shouldn't have left the door open, not for a moment, it was only a couple of minutes, that's all it took.  You're not a psychopath, you're grieving, it's natural and normal to cry when you lose someone you love.  (((hugs)))

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/10/pet-loss-curious-cats-get-killed-in.html

 

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Dounia, my kitty was accidentally killed Friday in a tragic accident. I cried almost nonstop until Sunday morning when I reached out to my animal lover friends and family. Even though you asked them to move the wood, know it was  an unintentional accident. I have never lost a beloved pet until Friday and with it being completely unexpected it was very emotional. Try to remember the good times and happy times with your kitty and not the last moments when she died. I also wrote a page of the good times my kitty had with us and it helped me think of the great life and love she received as our family pet. If you’re able to get away someday and start a life safely away from any forms of abuse it will help you. Be sure to only go live with a safe loving female family member time friend that will understand and protect you while you continue to grow into your life as an adult woman. You are very brave, smart, unique and strong. You have a passion for something you enjoy and look forward to and let that carry you through as your life changes for the best. Stay strong dear💗😊

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