Random thoughts

[ipswitch]

Today, for no particular reason, I realized a couple things.  I realized that I have lived longer in my current home than I had in the first home Late Husband and I purchased. We moved in 17 years ago this past February. I also realized that as of some time last year, I've lived longer in this house without my husband than I did with him.

I miss my husband, but he was an alcoholic, so really, I miss who he was when we married.  I miss my youth.  I feel jealous, sometimes, of my younger co-workers. Which is shallow, I know. It will get better, but today was just not a good day.

 

[MartyT]

1 hour ago, ipswitch said:

I miss who he was when we married.  I miss my youth.  I feel jealous, sometimes, of my younger co-workers. Which is shallow, I know. It will get better, but today was just not a good day.

You are allowed to have these feelings, my dear ~ and I would wager that many of us here have had feelings similar to yours. Whether shallow or not, feelings are not facts. They are neither good or bad ~ they just are. What matters is what we do with what we are feeling. You're also allowed to have a bad day. Know that it will pass. The sun will come up tomorrow, and tomorrow is a brand new day. Be kind to yourself. You are worth it, and you deserve it. ❤️

[kayc]

ipswitch,

Ahh, I would envy the young but for the fact I don't want a repeat of what I've been through!  We had good times though, lots of memories and I cherish those good moments.  Last anv. of death I'd been without him twice as long as I'd had him in my life, that felt a little weird, esp. considering I have never forgotten and love him still.  Marty is right about feelings, neither good nor bad, they just are, and we're left contending with them.  Our lives are not over, perhaps there is still much good ahead!  One can hope so.