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Lost Athena and Lucy Both in Two Weeks Time; Chronic Kidney Disease

AZ Desertgirl

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Two cats in two weeks is a nightmare.  It wasn't fun, but it was necessary.  Both senior gals with chronic kidney disease, and other ailments to boot.

I'm reeling mostly from my loss of Lucy, which was yesterday.  I managed to treat her for over a year, with help from Tanya's support group online.  Sub q fluids, every other day, and she was eatting and enjoying life.  I was enriching and extending her life.  She saved my life because she loved me to the core.  And I loved her to the core.  She made me laugh, she amazed me.  She was my Harvard Kitty!

Yesterday, was the end for Lucy.  Her regular vet was off, and the relief vet was full for two days.  I decided on getting an in home vet, for euthanasia.  Which greatly relieved Lucy's stress being over the top.  She had a gallop heartbeat, which the vet said meant she was dying already.  Today, is my first day without my precious girl.  I keep thinking I hear her collar come up behind me, signaling me not to step on her.  I keep looking for her in all of her different beds, and hiding places.  Grief is a long, horrible, bad process that seems to never go away.  But it will lessen.  I know, in time. 

I decided to have her ashes returned to me, which I have never chosen to do.  And today, I purchased a beautiful, custom made, ceramic urn that will be handmade for Lucy.  And I can glance at her, anytime after I receive the urn and her ashes back.  It will bring me peace, honoring my best friend.  There is no love like the love of a cat.  No person, can ever love you like your cat can.  Both my cats were rescues; I adopted them off of craigslist, independent of one another.  And we were all together for 12 years.  But all good things come to an end.  But we have our precious memories, photos, and videos to reflect on.

Goodbye Athena dod 4.11.2019. 

Goodbye Lucy, dod 4.25.2019. 

Find Missy in Heaven, dod 4.12.2018.



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Wow!  A lot at once, I am very sorry for your losses.  You can rest assured though that you did the kindest thing putting them out of their suffering.  Very hard.  Wishing every day brings you a little more comfort and peace to replace the pain of missing them, I know it takes a good long while.  We adjust or get used to it but the missing them continues all these years later.

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Thank you for your kind words, Kay.  Yes, I agree.  Putting them out of their suffering is most important.  They aren't here for my benefit.  I am their guardian; I need to protect and honor them as best that I can.  Some people are afraid of letting go, for themselves, which I think is not goood.  That would be selfish.

It's very difficult to be in the same place with them, especially Lucy, as she was my shadow, my companion...my kitty savior in life.   I can still her the jingle on her bell collar.  I still expect to see her in her little donut bed, sitting on top of one of the dining room chairs...her favorite resting place.

Losing a beloved pet is way more difficult that losing a human family member.  Animals treat you with more love, more compassion, more respect than an family member I have.  And that is why my pets are so important to me and to many other people on this planet.  Pets are people, too!

Thank you for acknowledging my loss.  I appreciate your kind words and compassion.



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2 hours ago, AZ Desertgirl said:

I can still her the jingle on her bell collar.  I still expect to see her in her little donut bed, sitting on top of one of the dining room chairs...her favorite resting place.

For the longest time, I would look up at the patio door expecting to see Miss Mocha there, waiting to be let in.  She disappeared June 3, 32016, I know she would not have left on her own accord and I believe a cougar got her.  I put up flyers, posted on Facebook, talked to my neighbors, no one saw/heard anything, there was no evidence of anything, she just vanished.  She was so happy here, I knew something had happened to her beyond her control.  

Finally I quit expecting to see her as it sunk into my subconscious mind that she was no longer with me.  It takes a while to grasp that.  

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Hello AZ Desertgirl.

I'm so incredibly sorry for both your losses. It's so unbearably sad to see beloved companions suffering. Just know that you shared a wonderful bond with them, took great care of them and when there was nothing left to be done you made the most merciful and selfless choice you could in order to end their suffering. Speaking from recent experience it's a soul-shattering choice because you're actively making the decision to say goodbye but in the end you come to realize it's the right choice. And yes, the grieving process is a relentlessly painful and confusing one but like any process it will have to come to an end at some point. As kayc mentioned, missing them never goes away. Somehow, though, we eventually manage to make more room in our hearts and minds for the wonderful memories of our loved ones and less room for the excruciating emotional pain that losing them has caused.

I recommend you watch this video, as it helped put things into perspective for me:

Sending you wishes of peace and healing.

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