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mittam99

Another year, another birthday, still feel lost

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May 10th is my birthday and more than ever, it's just another day. Another day of sorrow, loneliness and yearning. Yearning for a life I can't get back. Yearning for the love I once had. Yearning for a life with more meaning than the drudgery of today.

Without people who care and love you sharing in the day, a birthday is far from a celebration. It's just a blip on the calendar; a day to shrug your shoulders and say "whatever". 

I miss my Tammy so much. I miss her smile and her hugs and her kisses and her unending love. I miss being her knight in shining armor and giving her every ounce of love I had to give.

I'm trying my best to find my place in this world. But, I'm stuck in my new role as the lonely widower who doesn't have a clue how to find happiness or purpose.

"Happy" Birthday to me.

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Mitch, without you in this life, Tammy would not have had the joy of sharing it with you.  I wish you a blessed day.

There are many days to mark, many days to simply let go by.  It's perfectly acceptable either way.

Hugs,

Shirley

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Mitch,

i send you wishes for peace and solace on your birthday. I hope there is at least one thing today that brings some lightness, or perhaps even a smile for you.

Bless you.

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Mitch,

Oh man, I know the feeling!  I'm going in for minor surgery this morning, didn't sleep well last night so have 120 mile round trip while tired...can't help but feel how different it would be if George were here, he would drive me and take such good care of me.  Lord I miss him!

I hope you know Tammy is thinking of you and I wonder if maybe this is hard for them too, I hope not, like their perspective of time is different, for us it sure drags on!  I hope you have a good birthday, my friend, I didn't see this when I started the other thread, I'd have posted it sooner had I not ran out of time and had to leave.  I hope all your customers are upbeat today!

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I get it too. I have felt the same in my last 5th birthdays. It`s a horrible calendar day that bring me anxiety and sadness.

We understand you. 

I wish you peace today.

Ana

 

 

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When Tammy came into my life, a new tradition started. You didn't just have a birth "day"; she introduced me to the concept of a birth "week". Oh how I miss that! And oh how I miss being with my Tammy for a week, a day, or for that matter, a single moment.

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It's not the same by a long shot, dear Mitch, but we're all thinking of you and sending birthday blessings to you today. 

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Have a peaceful birthday, Mitch. Somehow, "happy" no longer pertains to birthday.

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Totally understand how you feel.  Wishing you as much solace as possible.  They take so much more with them than we ever could have realized.  🦋

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9 hours ago, kayc said:

I'm going in for minor surgery this morning, didn't sleep well last night so have 120 mile round trip while tired...can't help but feel how different it would be if George were here, he would drive me and take such good care of me.  Lord I miss him!

kayc:  Hope all went well with your surgery.  It doesn't sound like anyone drove you to your appointment???

It is understandable you didn't sleep well. Our spouses were our support system in so many ways.  Prayers for you as you wait for the results and your safe return trip home.  Dee

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Kay, I was wondering about your surgery, too.  Hope you're doing okay and that you get a good night's sleep tonight.

 

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Mine was May 9th - my first without Bob and did it ever slam me on the side of the head. I was not expecting this. Birthdays were not huge with us - every once in awhile a surprise would pop up and we would have a bigger celebration - but it was a day that he made me feel more special (if that is possible). This year - I think I thought my "gift" would be Bob - he would be back from where ever he has gone. This nightmare would be over. So again - I waited and waited and waited. The more that others did to recognize this day (more than they have done in the past) - the more I felt they were doing this BECAUSE Bob is not here and it made the day worse and worse. I think I will take this day out of the calendar because I know the second and the third and the fourth etc etc will be just as bad as the first. 

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Ohh, JTP, I'm so sorry.  Happy Belated, and although I know it's not the same with them gone (boy is that an understatement!), it's good to know others are making effort on your behalf, even if it doesn't work.  (((hugs)))
 

Kacy, it's been a tough haul, I've been on the go ever since my surgery and today it responded by swelling considerably so I'm going to make effort to ice it several times and try to relax a bit more.  Ha, that's hard for me!  You see my car acted up several times the day of my surgery so I ended up buying a new car Saturday (in Positives thread) and that took all day Saturday and then Sunday picked up my daughter and drove to my son's for Mother's Day (five hours driving), I'm pretty worn out today.

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Kay,

Do I have to come up there and smack you around or lock you in your room?  You are grounded!  LOL  Surgery is serious business, girl.

Love Ya,

Karen

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"Happy" belated Mitch and JTP,

"Happy Birthday" seems to be an elusive thing now. Maybe we should say instead "Have as close as you can to a Happy Birthday" instead." 🙂 

KayC, hope you get to feeling much better soon.

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Thank you Johnny.

What I've learned since my Tammy died is that every day is a true challenge. Nothing is the same. Everything has changed. The anniversaries, holidays and birthdays are even tougher because what once was something special, now blends into the other 364 days of emptiness, yearning and sadness.

That's our grief in a nutshell.

 

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14 hours ago, Johnny said:

"Have as close as you can to a Happy Birthday" instead."

I hear you!

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15 hours ago, KarenK said:

Kay,

Do I have to come up there and smack you around or lock you in your room?  You are grounded!  LOL  Surgery is serious business, girl.

Love Ya,

Karen


Today I'm home resting and icing.  Tomorrow I have an out of town dental appt.  I'm going to have to take a day at a time and listen to my body.

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Kay, I hope you're doing better today.  Sorry about the car.  Sure was terrible timing.  Hope you're able to relax and take care of yourself.

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