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Sharon C

11 weeks without my boy

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11 weeks of crying..I can't hardly breathe while i sob .. my beautiful boy is constantly on my mind.. my heart is so broken.. more so now the sunshine is upon us.. you loved the garden.. spending alot of time out there with me ..soaking up the rays whilst I pottered around being watched by you .. even doing the garden now doesn't fill me with the same passion without your presence . god I miss you ..  you were perfect in every way.. I will never forget you .. How could I? You were my soulmate.. goodnite angel mommy loves you ..

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I’m so very sorry for your loss. Please know that while that adorable boy will obviously always be in your heart and with you, the pain will ease with time. 💕

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I'm sorry, Sharon, I know it's painful.  :(

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You are not alone in your grief. Have you looked into going to a physical group or reading a book on grief of losing a pet? Nothing really takes away the sting of not having them by your side anymore, but it will get a little better over time. I really feel for you.

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Yes I have just read a book i also have a good support network to talk whenever I need .. and cry to them too.. we did everything together holidays included ..he has left a massive hole inside of me.. I have done a part of the garden for him ...all lights up of a night ..I've had his portrait tattooed on my leg .. I know time is a healer .. it's just hurts waiting..

Thankyou for all your kind words x

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1 minute ago, Sharon C said:

I know time is a healer .. it's just hurts waiting..

Sharon, my dear, it's a myth that "time heals all wounds," most especially when it comes to grief. Grief has no time frame, and asking how long it lasts is like asking how high is up. It takes as long as it takes, and what matters is not how much time has passed. What matters is what we DO with the time that passes. Grief is best managed when we do the work that helps us to heal, and that is different for each of us. You'll find lots of ideas and suggestions here: Bereavement: Doing the Work of Grief

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Sharon, Marty is right -- " asking how long it lasts is like asking how high is up. " Exactly so. It's really rather pointless. Even after taking courses on grieving our precious animals, one of the best and most helpful pieces of wisdom I've ever heard is that, even if most self-guilt is realistically addressed, there will almost always be some part/s of grief and sorrow that will still be activated and alive at times...or even all the time, even if just in the background but not far from more tears. Then our job just becomes to learn to live with it, as another component of our lives with our beloveds.

But I deeply hear you when you speak of gardening time, and how your loss severely impacts your previous enjoyment of it. Been there, done that, still feel it, particularly when each spring arrives. There is melancholy still. There are always reminders and triggers. But that's also okay. I feel the same, year after year, just not quite as intensely as the first several years...and I accept that. Acceptance of how we actually and truly feel is more than half the battle, and honours both us and our relationship with our furbabies. Know that you are somehow "okay," even with the immense sorrow and loss of passion you feel now. I hear you, I feel you, I know...

"I will never forget you .. How could I? You were my soulmate.. "  Yup, yup, yup. I came to use a phrase I have by now used an awful LOT -- whatever question or feeling I was expressing to my late furchildren, it so often ended with "how could I NOT?" (love you the way I do, always did, always will, etc.) Pretty much sums it all up for me.

And even though I've never even had dogs, your baby is SOOOOO darn adorable. I've just always had a "thing" for sleek, white doggies with black spots on one eye. SO precious....

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