Buster's Mom Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 My beloved Buster, who lived with me across multiple states and eras of my life, died 2 months ago this week. He had cancer, it was sudden, it was awful. I miss him every day and I'm still grieving over his loss. About two weeks ago I went to the shelter and ended up coming home with another cat. Zuzu is a sweet, timid but sassy 2 year old tortie and I already care for her as she is starting to open up to us as she settles in to her new home. When I went to the shelter I didn't feel "ready" to adopt another pet, but as I told my partner I figured I'd be grieving the loss of Buster for a long time to come. Getting another pet was not a replacement, but I wanted to help another animal in need and I honestly did not physically feel like I could leave the shelter without her. Still, it's been tricky. As lovely as it is to have Zuzu and to get to know her, well, it has sort of exacerbated the grief I feel over Buster. My heart still wants my sweet best friend back. There will never be another cat like him, he truly was my "heart cat." At the same time I have affection for this new sweet cat, I have guilt that I know is not "logical" over getting another cat "so soon" after B's passing. And as much as I know in my head I did not get her to "replace" Buster, as there is no replacement in my heart for him, there are times that I wish she would do things that Buster did, like purr me to sleep while sitting on my chest. That also makes me feel guilty that I think that, because it's not her fault she isn't my Buster cat and I know logically that we will develop our own unique kitty-person relationship. We already are. To make matters more difficult, she has a deep cough that is very likely just an upper respiratory infection she caught at the shelter and is under treatment for it, but it reminds me of Buster's cough right before we found out he had cancer. I'm deeply worried about her health, and just hearing the cough is triggering and takes me right back to those awful days. I know I'm being intense about it and spending way too much time on PetMD worrying she has some kind of awful disease and worried that we'll have to go through this again, so soon. I don't know if my heart could take it. It's likely just a cold, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not sure if anyone has adopted a new pet after losing their dear pet, or has ever felt like this before. It feels complicated and illogical, but there you have it. Any advice or just knowing someone out there understands might help. Thank you for reading. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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