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Thank you Gingerlove.  I didn't leave him home and I live with that. I know you have gone through that night in your mind, too. You have also live with that.  We are hard on ourselves, but how can we not be when we lost someone so dear to us, yet we think now we didn't make the right choice?   I wish someone would invent a time machine. 

I'm having issues with my husband.  I'll hold the door open for him if he wants to leave. It goes beyond and before what happened with my dog.  Too bad he didn't leave before that. I wouldn't be grieving.  My dog would be here. 

Thank you Gingerlove for your prayers. I am sending mine to you as well.  

 

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12 hours ago, Guilt_beyond_imagination said:

kayc, my neighbor had a much bigger dog than mine. I think the bigger dogs don't get much tartar.  My dog Porter, is part Chihuahua and they are prone to teeth problems and tartar. I know the day is coming when I still have to get Porter's teeth cleaned -- this time by my regular vet.  Nervous now after what happened, just because of the usual risks. I wasn't this nervous before. 

My dog is huge and he has tartar, sometimes it's the genes, sometimes the food.  He chews bones, they usually clean teeth, but he's on a special diet due to his Colitis, so I think that's the cause of his.  We do all we can for our little ones (I call my dog Little Boy in spite of his size).

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Today was 6 months to the day, a Monday, that someone took my little boy away from me.  So far I am getting through it.  I am making progress with the complaint. So many corrections and cleaning up redundancies.  No statute of limitations which eases my mind, but that's no excuse to not finish it asap.

I am learning more about other vets and their discrepancies. I just learned about another kind of anesthesia method called "masking down."  It is a horrible technique from the dark ages and considering that vet I went to was in the dark ages, I am now going to ask the state to investigate if this was a possible method taken and a cause of my dog's demise. I read it's terrible for nervous and anxious dogs, which is what my sweet little man was. It's unnerving to know I never got an explanation of the procedure, what happened from start to finish. I could go by the notes, but practically a full page of white space doesn't say much. I guess I'm asking for too much considering he never discussed the procedure and risks with me to being with, as the law states he should.  I'm waiting for karma to kick in for him.  ~ Parker's Mom

 

 

 

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Mentioning that to the state as well, is probably a worthwhile idea. Did you ever call that vet back to demand more info than what little they gave you?

Karma can take a lifetime or longer to become manifest, so you may never see it. But when I discovered, quite by accident, that someone had been doing heinous things, I took action and reported their crimes, and there were some serious consequences to pay once they were finally caught. Based on my tips, a "sting" operation was undertaken. I did what I thought was right in order to save other innocent lives as best I could, because as they say, "God helps those who help themselves." I couldn't have lived with my conscience had I turned a blind eye and done nothing. Another famous quote I love about that whole concept is:

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."  - Edmund Burke  Well, I DID something about it.

And that's a large part of why the world is as it has become over decades. Good people doing nothing and not taking a stand for what they believe in, or what's right(er). Sometimes we just have to, and there are many taking such stands now. 

It's also true that there are a lot of vets nowadays who leave a lot to be desired. The more you inform yourself, the more you discover has been going on. But it's time to turn that tide around.

I'm so sorry today is a very sad milestone day for you. But if you're using it as a means to seek redress for Parker, that should help. I'm sure he'd be proud of his mom's perseverance in his name. 

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To Parker, My Little Angel,

I would give my life for yours to have you live again. I wish I could trade places with you. 

I Love You Forever and ever,

Your Mom

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On 6/24/2019 at 7:41 PM, Maylissa said:

Did you ever call that vet back to demand more info than what little they gave you?

Thinking of you...

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On 6/23/2019 at 12:25 PM, Guilt_beyond_imagination said:

My dog would be here. 

I'm so sorry. I know that feeling about my cat. It's tough not to get immobilized by that wishful thinking.

I hope you can forgive your husband...

Me too I asked myself why did I listen to him when I was tired and I could just listen to myself and not take my cat out......

You know that no cruel intention was there. None.

Let's try to be gentle to ourselves. It's tough...like you say there isn't.a machine to take us back to revert that one small decision.

The biggest evil is the vet (and the staff) not contacting us.

However they, too, didn't do what they did out of evil intention, but out of ignorance, foolishness, nervousness, inexperience...

 

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Kayc, no. I called a pet injury lawyer. I actually found one nearby. She said if he didn't give me that information before, he won't now. She said his malpractice insurance probably told him to keep quiet. I spoke to a woman who sued him in county court in 2014 and she said she repeatedly called him for information and he would not talk to her. That was before she sued him. She found out from another vet that he misdiagnosed her cat for months. Treated the cat for pancreatitis and the cat was having heart problems. I wish that woman would have written a state complaint. It may have gotten him disciplined. He had no disciplines when I contacted them. The state doesn't reveal complaints, only disciplines are public. Why would he tell me anything anyway, he lied through the entire process. He withheld flagged lab work, he never once discussed the procedure and the risks. I had 2 dogs scheduled. He didn't discuss it for either. Broke the law right there. The place is one big lie. I found out too late and I am so heartbroken that I let my dog go there for this voluntary procedure. This was not even his regular vet.  You know the rest, that I never wanted this in the first place. I really messed up not speaking up to my husband and telling him off. These MY kids, not his. He butted in where he should have kept his big mouth shut. I let my dog down and I'm paying for it now. As much as I try, it doesn't go away.

 

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Gingerlove,  I lam missing my dog so much, it hurts inside. I let my him down. I let him go there. Yes, dental cleanings are needed for pets, but I was willing to wait it out and go back to their regular vet. I would take my chances either way, not doing it or waiting to get it done by the regular vet and taking a chance with him.  Everything with this was WRONG.  My husband set it in motion from the day he insisted we take all our dogs there, months before this happened. It was like we set our dog up for disaster. I know if he did not go there, other than an "Act of God", he would be here.  I wouldn't feel guilt and this horrible about me and my husband's decisions if something happened to him by Mother Nature. I know it's wrong we took him there. As I brush his brothers' teeth (I always brushed their teeth before this),  I noticed Leroy's teeth aren't that bad. It's 6 months later and they don't look that bad. My little one, Porter, the blood brother of Parker, could use a cleaning. He's a Chihuahua mix and I was told they are prone to tartar and plaque. His vet says he has gingivitis, but I want to make a point. He has a digestive issue -- pancreatitis -- stable now.  Parker didn't have stomach issues. He had no issues except he was frightened by strangers. He had no problem chasing away a huge Rottweiler. He was brave. He was protective. In 2014 he had to get his upper 4th premolar (carnassial tooth) extracted on each side because I gave them Nylabones which are supposed to help keep teeth clean and they fractured those teeth of his. He was in awful pain because of the fractures. He was chewing things constantly. He must have been trying to ease the pain. Poor dog may have been suffering from pain for a while before I noticed it. Even though I brushed his teeth, I didn't notice it right away. Then I saw something looked strange. I noticed the one side and our vet found the other side was also fractured.  He got his teeth cleaned then and he did fine without those teeth. I always thought how strong a dog he was. Never cried when he had those fractures. I always thought how painful it must have been and I was glad he was better.  His front teeth were always white, no plaque or tartar. I never felt a need for him to get the dental done unless absolutely necessary and if he was going to have something else done. We both knew he was so frightened by strangers and this other vet and staff were strangers, yet we made him go there only to be more petrified. Parker was beginning to show he was comfortable with his regular vet, after all the years since being neutered. It was only May 2018 when I took him to our regular vet for his heart worm test and he didn't fuss at all. We were both surprised he was not scared. He looks at their teeth and gums during those visits. He didn't say he needed a cleaning.  Only 2 month later, in July, we took him to that other vet for his first visit.  Why? I ask myself. Why?  Because my husband insisted taking all of our dogs there?  I listened to him?  We were happy with our vet. Why did my husband want this?  This is why I am still so upset with myself because I knew my dogs already had a vet who we liked. It's not the decision I made. It's the decision I didn't make. I didn't say NO to going to that vet and about the cleaning, and I didn't keep Parker home when I kept telling myself I needed to call and cancel the appt.

We can't change the past. We can learn from it.  Have I forgiven my husband?  I don't know. When I feel like this, I don't feel I have yet. When I have a semi-good day, which is the best it's been so far, I may feel some forgiveness.  I have not 100% forgiven me or him. Do you feel the same way?  

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I am missing him so very much. I am afraid to be around when my other 2 dogs begin to have health issues or if something tragic happens. I am truly afraid now. I was not like this before and did not think about it.  I was so naive to think my dogs would live till their expected life span up to 20 years. I thought they all would outlive me and I would have to provide for them if I went first. 

I am in a lot of pain missing my sweet Parker. I know he should be here. I suggested that vet. I wish I never knew his name. I feel so much to blame. I'm not handling this very well these days. I led him to disaster.  He was robbed of a life.  His unassuming life.  Never asking for anything except food, water, kisses, and squeaky toys.  Giving more love than he wanted. 

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18 hours ago, Guilt_beyond_imagination said:

We can't change the past. We can learn from it.  Have I forgiven my husband?  I don't know. When I feel like this, I don't feel I have yet. When I have a semi-good day, which is the best it's been so far, I may feel some forgiveness.  I have not 100% forgiven me or him.

Forgiveness is as much for your if not more than the other person, because lack of forgiveness (resentment) can be a toxin that poisons you and who you are.  I never want to give that kind of power to someone else to change me!  Forgiveness has a beginning, an act of faith, but it's also a continual process, it's not about feelings, it's what you determine to do in your heart.  If you have a hard time with it (and we all get lots of practice forgiving), it's good to seek help from a therapist.  Don't be bound by someone else's thoughtless or sometimes malicious act!  Meditation and prayer can be key elements in helping us with this process.  It's letting go of judgment and bad energy.

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9 hours ago, Guilt_beyond_imagination said:

I am in a lot of pain missing my sweet Parker. I know he should be here. I suggested that vet. I wish I never knew his name. I feel so much to blame. I'm not handling this very well these days. I led him to disaster.  He was robbed of a life.  His unassuming life.  Never asking for anything except food, water, kisses, and squeaky toys.  Giving more love than he wanted. 

I understand.  I've ran across some bad vets in my life.  It's hard when you're taking up for your innocent dog that always loved and never hurt anyone.  I went through something similar a couple of times, in the end, I had to forgive for ME.  It's not about them being blameless.  What is done is done and can't be retrieved.  My heart goes out to you in this struggle, I know it's painful.

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21 hours ago, Gingerlove said:

Let's try to be gentle to ourselves.

Good advice always when we're grieving!

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That vet is TERRIBLE, plain and simple. And the lawyer is most likely 100% right, but I had just wanted to ask anyway. If he's done this before, that's obviously his modus operandi. I truly wish there is a way to get him out of practice for good, as there's no telling how many animals he's already managed to injure or kill.

Maybe I'll be the first to mention it (at least here), but to be honest, it seems odd to me that your husband would have been pushing so hard to take your dogs there, especially since you already had a good vet. Do you think his reasoning had anything to do with cheaper cost? Have you tried asking him why he was so adamant about going there? This is probably a conversation worth having, although perhaps best undertaken in your councilor's office.

Some people may not like to hear this, but I really feel, were it me, I might not be capable of forgiving my spouse for something this serious...at least not without a bucket-load of work on it first. Of course, I would also have a hard time forgiving myself, too, same as you. Compassion for both self and other would have to be cultivated first, and that could be a long haul. Whereas, forced forgiveness, before you're ready, if you try to push it, derails the healing process and makes things even messier. You forgive when you're ready. If you're not yet, it's much healthier to admit you're having a hard time forgiving, just as you're doing here. That honestly is where the first step of healing comes from. Then you might be able to create a desire to forgive. But for a better a chance of that coming about, I know I'd personally be booking sessions with Teresa to help with it, since animal communication, grief and guilt over our animals, and helping animals and their people, are ALL her specialties. You would be in very good and experienced hands with her.

In fact, I soon have to get in touch with her myself, as I'm now very unexpectedly suffering from anticipatory grief over losing yet another one of my neighbourhood feline friends...the only one who's been left to me after losing 10 others I loved dearly through the years. I hugely needed a nicer, calmer summer, and now there goes that hope. My heart is just busting in two again -- mainly for him and how his life is going to abruptly change for the worse, but of course also for myself losing his companionship and love. He and I just spent an amazing, blissful and loving afternoon together in my yard a few days ago (I believe he already knew about his people's plan, even before I found out the next day, & was seeking solace with me). And, as cats so often do for me, I learned more lessons from him then, and another biggie afterwards. That makes it even harder to accept what's going to happen to him, and the heavy sorrow we're both going to experience. I'm still in shock, not wanting to believe this is actually going to happen. Our history together was a delightful, then sad/tragic, then happy-again story spanning about 2 years...now about to turn tragic again. He's already been through SO much in his young life, and with this latest development I could easily see him soon passing away at his tender young age from this ignorant plan by his people. Only being able to help him later via animal communion (communication) along with my distance healing work just isn't the same as physically being here for him nearly every day. To say I have become very soured on most humans is a massive understatement. I don't think I'll be forgiving these people either any time soon, for what they're about to do to him. I'm furious, and not afraid to say so because that is truthfully how I feel about it.

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I might feel the same as you Maylissa except I have learned the principle of forgiveness.  It's not because the person deserves it.  It's not that what they did was okay.  It's not that we agreed with it.  It's about releasing that toxin within ourselves that has the power to change us (much for the worse).  I believe all will come out in the end, whether karma or judgment day, we all answer for our actions, it's not for me to be punisher, judge and jury, thankfully.  But also, if you have something between you and your husband, how can you be one?  I repeat, it does NOT mean what was done was okay!  Not by any means.

I don't say these things lightly.  I've been abused, I've been raped, I've been betrayed, stolen from, slandered, and even had someone kill my pets...I know what it is to practice the power of forgiveness.

Our feelings are just that...our feelings.  They are to contend with...sometimes helpful, sometimes not, we feel how we feel.

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Hi everyone,

I want to say something in case it seems to anyone that I am bashing veterinarians. That's not the case at all. For instance, if the vet I went to did all the right things and followed the law I would not have to file a complaint. This is not what I want to do. It is very painful to write this complaint. I relive that day over and over, but I have to do it for my dog. 

This vet did not obey the law and discuss the procedure and risks to give me and my husband an opportunity to ask questions so we could make an informed decision.

  • He told me my dog's pre-op lab work was clean, but I found out after my dog passed away the lab work was flagged and he withheld this from me.
  • His office rushed us in for the pre-op only to tell us that day the next available appt was 4 weeks later, they should have grouped them as close together as possible, so I have learned. In that case, he had 4 weeks to discuss the procedure and risks, and the lab work.
  • I called him a week after the lab work was done and spoke to him for 14 minutes and he never said a word to me about either. 
  • He knew my dog was anxious and petrified. He never suggested something to calm him.
  • He acknowledged my dog was "fractious" in his notes the day of the dental, yet he did not call me to alert me my dog was basically petrified. Sure, my dog was fractious. He was scared.  He was in fight or flight mode and any caring vet would have called me. No elective/voluntary procedure is worth stressing a pet. It's against the law here to keep an animal in fear.  For all I know my dog may have passed from a heart attack because he was so frightened, maybe why that vet didn't call me right away.
  • He claims my dog passed during recovery, so he should have been on the phone with me immediately when there was a problem.
  • There were no vitals or anesthesia record with the notes which leads me to believe my dog was not being monitored.
  • He never wrote or said they did everything possible to keep my dog breathing and to save him.
  • The use of a tracheal tube was not written in the notes. The notes are bare.
  • He never explained what happened. He grasped for things to blame.
  • He didn't take responsibility because he didn't think he did anything wrong, so I would expect a responsible vet to suggest a necropsy for my own peace of mind. I didn't know about a necropsy until my dog was already in a box. 

This vet didn't care. Everything he and they did in that place was wrong. I can't help but bash him. I have no choice but to write a complaint letter and sue him. He deserves it. He didn't make an honest mistake. He didn't do anything right. It was his negligence that killed my dog. He robbed my dog of his life. 

I found out after my dog passed that he was sued in local court in 2014 for malpractice, causing the death of someone's cat due to treating it for months for the wrong reason. The cat had a heart problem all along and he treated it for pancreatitis. If I knew about that I would have never gone there. By the way, you know how he treats pancreatitis?  I know because he saw my other dog for it and he gave him prescription food (which gave him an ear infection).  That's it.  That's how he treats pancreatitis. I took my dog to my other vet who gave him all kinds of meds and for a week I gave him IV fluids. He gave him a different brand Rx food with much lower fat. And I brought him back for follow-up lab work. That's how a real vet treats pancreatitis.  ~ Parker's Mom

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Hi Maylissa,

We were referred to a place out of town for our Beagle's digestive problem by our regular vet.  Our vet only knew of the other place because it's a specialty type of place and he wasn't originally from around here. It's slim pickings around here.  We didn't want to go there. My husband had a bad experience. I read bad reviews. So, it was me who decided to go to this other vet because he was the only one I knew around here from many decades ago when I took my other dog there. He is not a specialist. I should have, could have, etc. I should have just told my other vet we didn't want to go there for the real reasons. We didn't. We went to this vet for the 2nd opinion and in the long run, he basically did nothing anyway. It wasn't money. He was more expensive than our regular vet. We brought our Beagle there and my husband decided we would just keep going there. It doesn't make sense now and it didn't then. That's what happened. I regret so many things about it.  Writing this, I am realizing I should have just told my regular vet we didn't feel comfortable with that specialty place. Maybe things would have been different. Maybe we would have gone somewhere else and my husband would not have read dental cleaning posters and been brainwashed. I really want to die right now. Not literally.  Well, yes, literally.  My days are filled with tears.  So much of this I feel is my fault.  Even though my husband insisted continuing to go there and to have the dental done, I was the one who suggested that guy in the first place. It's too much for me to bear sometimes.  It's really all my fault.  That vet was sued in 2014. I never thought of checking on him. Just because I went there decades ago didn't mean anything. I learned the hard way.  He never changed. He is still in the dark ages from decades ago. No email. No laptop for notes. Calls himself a hospital and sends out for lab work. Uses old school meds which my regular vet said are ones he would never use because they lower the respiratory rate too much, making it more risky. He said he spends more for the newer meds that he can titrate and control because the whole idea is to mitigate risk. My regular vet does his lab work on site. 

Let's say I forgive me. Let's say I forgive my husband. My dog is still gone. The pain is still with me. I miss him. He lost his little simple life. His unassuming life. Never asking for anything but to eat, play with a squeaky, and get some hugs and kisses.  And to be the best friend he could be to his brothers. That was his life. He was robbed. That's the hardest pain I have. I would give my life for him to be here.  I want him here. His brother Leroy (Beagle) is so lonely. Porter doesn't play with him. Parker was best friends of both of them. He was my friend. He was my hero. It was he who chased away that Rottweiler when it charged for us. A little 13 pound dog scared away a dog over 100 pounds to protect us all. How do I live with myself letting him go there?  I struggle, that's how. I think it will be like this until my time is up. I'm not too sure I believe in an afterlife and if I would see him again. I'm afraid this is it and there's nothing else, that he's gone forever.  Forever.  It's too hard to live with that.  ~ Parker's Mom

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My Loving Sweet Baby Parker,

Mom is having some rough days.  I am sorry my baby. I have been crying a lot.  My mornings are filled with tears and I cry myself to sleep. It is all because I feel so bad that you were robbed of your life. It is not right you are not here to comfort your brothers. Leroy is very sad and lonely. Porter doesn’t play with him. I have been giving him a lot of attention to keep him from feeling sad.

We are all extremely sad you are not here. I feel it is my fault.  I hope you forgive me. I cannot understand what happened. I do not know why I took you to that place instead of Dr. Chris. Dr. Chris liked you and he understood you. He knew you were scared, but he knew how to make you feel relaxed and comfortable. He was so happy last year when you were not afraid getting your heart worm test. We were both very happy that you were not afraid. I felt so good for you. I knew it was good you were not anxious.

Then I took you to that other place and you were so frightened. I wish you could have spoken. You would have told me to bring you back to Dr. Chris. I let you down. I am full of remorse. I cannot accept I will never see you again. It is not sitting with me well.  

I Love You. Please believe that. It may not sound honest because I let you go. I could have kept you home that day. I wish you could have spoken to me. You would have told me you did not want to go there. You would have told me to take you back to Dr. Chris, and that they were not nice to you like Dr. Chris.

I have not been able to look at your pictures or videos. It is not because I do not want to.  It hurts me too much to see them now.  I need to turn my head every time I see something with a date from before you were gone.  It only reminds me that is when you were here.

I wish I could hug you again. I miss the pitter-patter of your little feet.  I miss your little howling-bark combination. Your brother Porter barks. Your brother Leroy howls. You were a cross between them both. The three of you were so good together. You bonded with Leroy right away.  He loved you. He knew he could kick your butt, but he was gentle with you because he loved you so very much. I feel so bad for him. I can tell he misses you and does not understand where you are.

Please show me a sign you are here with us. Please don’t stay away. I need to know you still trust me.

Parker, I Love You beyond infinity.  I am hurting right now. Mom is crying. I know I should not make you sad. I am sad without you. I cannot help it.  How do I go on? 

I miss you my little hero.

Love you forever,
Mom

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I never got the impression you were vet bashing.  

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On 6/29/2019 at 3:01 AM, Guilt_beyond_imagination said:

.  I wouldn't feel guilt and this horrible about me and my husband's decisions if something happened to him by Mother Nature

I know how you feel.......

We probably say to ourselves, by the small actions of that day if we just didn't take them, our beloved pet would still be fine.

Me too I questioned and my eyes said anger, ... But there was a tiny hope that things should turn out fine even if I go out being tired, even if you went along to the less known vet.

We simply believed in our beloved pet's luck. How do something relatively beneficial to them turn out to be fatal?

I know I could leave my cat home even if we guess from his meowing that he's bored. It was not food or new catnip toys he wanted.

You knew if you left your dog home without any check-up you can still wait for another time to do it.

The alternatives are so obvious now. They are Now.

I'm sorry. I think it feels terrible especially when all the other times you have been thoughtful and careful.

You're maybe thinking just this time...

Please try relaxing exercises, remebering how much you love your beloved pet, how precious that is.

Hang on. Another human being did something terrible to your beloved pet, however for long you have had beautiful and real loving relationship with this loving pet. Hang on to this, this love is true, that's why it hurts so the sudden loss. Your beloved dog knows your love, and has had a special and loving life.

I tell myself that with my Ginger. I sometimes talk to him in my heart.

❤️

 

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Hello Parker, My Little Peanut,

I'm thinking about you more today. I think about you all the time, but more today.

I took Leroy to your pediatric vet. You know, Dr. Dolittle.  Leroy misses you a lot. His face shows it. I wish you guys could talk. Porter barks so much, I think he is trying to speak. Wait a minute. If Porter could speak, he would never stop talking. 

I was thinking about a song today that I want to dedicate to you. It has always been one of my favorite songs. You may have heard me play it.  It makes me cry, and so does Ave Maria.  

Remember that I Love You and if there is a place beyond life, I will see you again. I wish I knew for sure. 

I Love You Forever,

Mom
♥️

Here is my song to you, My Little Peanut. It is about us.  I will think of us each time I hear it  . . . till we meet again. 
TIME - The Alan Parsons Project 
Time, flowing like a river
Time, beckoning me
Who knows when we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river
To the sea
Goodbye my love, 
Maybe for forever

Goodbye my love, 
The tide waits for me
Who knows when we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)
To the sea, to the sea
Till it's gone forever
Gone forever
Gone forevermore

 
Goodbye my friends (goodbye my love)
Maybe forever
Goodbye my friends (who knows when we shall meet again)
The stars wait for me
Who knows where we shall meet again
If ever
But time
Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)
To the sea, to the sea
Till it's gone forever
Gone forever
Gone forevermore

 
Forevermore
Forevermore
Forevermore

 
Songwriters: Alan Parsons / Claudio Goldman / Eric Woolfson / Sergio Antonio De Albuquerq
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In the news:  "An Arizona woman who "died" for a total of 27 minutes asked or a notepad after she was resuscitated to share an urgent message about the afterlife."  There have been many case like this.

Doctors revived her after 27 minutes and a vet couldn't save my little dog whom he claims didn't make it out of recovery.  If he tried hard enough he could have. It's been suggested this vet may not have been in the room. 

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I am reminiscing about when I first got these amigos in early 2013.  I had just early retired.  Having no children, my husband thought getting a dog would keep me company. Leroy was adopted in January. In February, I agreed with the rescue, to foster 2 little male Chihuahua-Beagle pups. The rest is history. I pulled some pieces from emails. It reminds me about how happy they made me. The 3 of them hit it off instantaneously. This is dedicated to Parker.

FROM ME TO RESCUE OWNER:   I had my eyes on Leroy when I first saw him online on October 9th. He looked so cute. I filled out the application about 2 weeks later when I saw he was still there. I went on vacation. The holidays came and I looked online for him and he was still there in late December.  It's like he was waiting for us. 

Leroy is settling in very well. At first, he was a little nervous and shy, but he is getting used to "his" new home and has gained our trust. He goes to bed on his own. We have a bed for him up and downstairs. We haven't needed to use a crate, so he's got the run of the house. I have a knack for spoiling my pets. . .   He makes funny slurping noises when we walk him, so I almost changed his name to Slurpy, but we are sticking with Leroy.  After he returns from being walked, he likes to run around and play with a toy ball and my old slippers.  He doesn't beg and he's got manners! Leroy saw a dog out the window today and proved his protection skills by barking for the first time. He must know this is his home now. We (my husband Bob and I) love Leroy!  

Whenever you are free, I can bring Leroy to meet you.  He's such a cutie. He may need a playmate.  There's only so much fun we humans can provide. Leroy is a real sweetie. I'm glad we kept Leroy as his name. I read that it means The King in French (le roi, or le roy).  Plus, it's not a common dog name. 

Tomorrow morning, Monday, I am meeting Porter and Parker at Tammy's.  I'm bringing Leroy. I will let you know if one of them works out. Leroy was very friendly with all the dogs at PetSmart. He didn't bark or growl. He went up to larger dogs, too. That's a good sign. 

FROM THE RESCUE OWNER: As of tonight around 630(ish) Paul will be taking Parker and Porter to get neutered by Dr. Chris - afterwards, Tina (our newest adopter/foster) will be fostering both Parker and Porter because Jess's pups are sick and we didn't want to sick any dogs health, especially after a surgery. (No worries though, her terriers are healthy!)

FROM ME:  These guys are really adorable though, but it's a lot for me because they are puppies and I also have Leroy. I also feel bad leaving them in the crate, but they're too young to run loose because they're not housebroken.  The pups are really close knit. Porter was really upset when Parker was away from him. I don't think they should be separated. Porter will once in a while growl and at Parker, but he sometimes growls at people. I don't think he means anything by it. I think that's just his nature. He may mellow out with time since he's been neutered. He really loves his brother. I think they should be adopted as a pair. I can't see them being apart. I think Porter would be really sad without his brother.   I'll hold onto them during this recovery time, but do you know if someone would want to foster both of them?  As much as I love these little guys and would miss them

I do want to care for these little guys while they heal.  I've gotten really attached to these little guys. I love these little boys. They are so adorable!  I would love to keep them for as long as I can take care of them. I feel like I am getting them to trust people. They are really affectionate with me. I will really miss them. I understand that they are young and don't know the ropes yet. Maybe I can help teach them and get them on their way. 

I hope that whoever gets these little guys takes as much or more care of them as I have. I truly care about them. I mean that I wouldn't want to dump them on someone or for someone to take them only because it sounds like a desperate situation.

They and Leroy have brought so much joy to our home. I love them all! 

I am really attached to Porter (darker face). I love his personality.  I am bugging Bob to adopt him or at least foster him as long as we can (if that's okay with you) and then maybe Bob will also get attached to him and want to adopt him.  I hope Leroy approves, too. I have been calling Porter "Curly" as in the Three Stooges because it's so funny after he goes to the bathroom outside, he does that kick back thing with his back legs. He looks like Curly when he kicked back his legs saying, "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."

I can't part with these little guys. I love them so much. I want to keep them. It gets challenging sometimes, but I'll get it down to a routine. (I, myself, only expected to get 1 dog.) 

Bob and I definitely want Parker and Porter. Yes, please considered them in the adoption process by us. They are now Leroy's adopted brothers. 

Parker loves Leroy. He licks his ears and grooms him. They play a lot. Porter and Parker play together and they love to be together in the crate. It's like the 3 of them are a team. They all rest together on the couch. It's usually Parker up against Leroy. They are like brothers. I love these guys. I fuss over them like they were my babies. (Maybe because I never had any children.) I fix their bedding at night and then cover them with a little blanket. I keep their feeding bowls clean all the time. They're like my kids.  Yes. I am in agreement with Suzi to adopt them. They are now Leroy's little brothers.

FROM THE RESCUE OWNER:  And congratulations Tina - I am so excited for you and the 3 boys!

FROM ME:  Leroy is very happy with his little brothers. Parker and Leroy are like a comedy when they play. Leroy is passive and Parker is more aggressive, but Leroy may be laying low because he knows he could whoop Parker's butt. He has sat on Parker when they've played. It's really funny. 

FROM ME ABOUT PARKER:  He's always looking for mischief. Yesterday I had the kitchen window open about 8 inches and pulled up the blinds. The window is about 4 feet from the floor. The window is screened in. The sill is only about 6 inches deep up to the screen. Parker managed to jump up and onto that sill!  I don't know how he did it!  Good thing the screen was there or he would have fallen out of the window!  Now I know to keep the blinds down when the window is open, so he won't be able to get up there. He has jumped up on the counter and in the kitchen sink. We call him "crazy man" and I call Porter "tiny boy".

FROM ME ABOUT PARKER:  He's kind of my favorite. He follows me all over the house and always stays by me when I'm on the computer. He's the most affectionate, too.

 
I Love You Parker.  We all miss you and your funny antics. You were a bundle of energy your entire (short) life.  I think about you all the time, my sweetie Little Peanut. 

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This song is dedicated  to my 3 amigos, but in especially to Parker who is not here.  This is how I have always felt about my little ones. Every word of this song is true for me, to and for them.

I LOVE YOU PARKER

(Everything I Do) I Do It for You

by Bryan Adams

Look into my eyes
You will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart
Search your soul
And when you find me there
You'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do
I do it for you
Look into your heart
You will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am
Take my life
I would give it all
I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do
I do it for you
There's no love
Like your love
And no other
Could give more love
There's nowhere
Unless you're there
All the time
All the way, yeah
Look into your heart, baby
Oh you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more
Yeah, I would fight for you
I lie for you
Walk the wire for you
Yeah, I'd die for you
You know it's true
Everything I do
Oh
I do it for you
Everything I do, darling
And we'll see it through
Oh we'll see it through
Oh yeah
Yeah
Look into your heart
Look at your soul
You can't tell me it ain't worth dying for
Oh yeah
I'll be there, yeah
I'll walk the wire for you
I will die for you
Oh yeah
I would die for you
I'm going all the way, all they way, yeah
 
Songwriters: Bryan Adams / Michael Arnold Kamen / Robert John Lange
 
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Hi everyone,
Thank you for all your love and kind words.

I’m still trying to get over my loss.  Nothing is the same here. The only routine is feeding them and walking them. The rest of my life has dramatically changed.  It's changed for all of us.  I am not the same. I don’t feel the same. I am more doubtful. I am less trusting. 

What has changed is I am kissing, hugging, and holding my little ones more than before. I am afraid now to lose any of them, please, not so soon.  I have always equally loved and love all 3 of my boys Leroy, Parker, and Porter. Losing Parker was a life changer for me and his brothers.  I see it in their faces.  I know they are confused. I've read debates about dogs and their sense of time, so I'm not sure if they think he's only been gone since yesterday. That may be better for them, so they don't feel it's been a long time. One thing I know for sure is that I know they are missing Parker. It's in their eyes.  Leroy is very sad. He mopes around. Parker was a leader. He motivated all of us.  Porter and Leroy were very scared this week from the fireworks. Leroy ran upstairs to seek refuge. Porter was panting and pacing. Except for being handled by strangers, Parker was never afraid of anything.  He would have comforted his brothers from the fireworks. He would have groomed them and cuddled next to them. Oh, how I wish he was here, and I didn't make such a terrible decision.  I hope Leroy and Porter don't feel that we took his brother away from them.

I learned from some of you that a Cardinal has a significant meaning after a loss. My husband must be believing that now. The other day he brought me to the window and told me there was a Cardinal on our lawn. At first, I couldn't see it. He showed me where it was. He appeared excited about it. By the time I got my camera, it was gone. They are not common in my area. 

I read this on several websites: The belief that cardinals are messengers from someone who has passed exists across many cultures and beliefs. However, a symbolic sign is unique to each person and gives us the opportunity to interpret its meaning. A symbolic sign is a message for the individual receiving it. A symbolic sign can be considered a phenomenon, or a “cardinal experience.”  The word cardinal is derived from the Latin word cardo, meaning hinge or axis. Like a hinge on a door, the cardinal is often considered the hinge on the doorway between our earthly world and the spirit world.


Parker, was that you?  Please come back if that was you.  If a cardinal appears again, then I will believe.  Parker, I will believe it's you.  Parker, please let me know you are here.  I need to know you forgive me. 

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