loss of pet l FAILED MY LITTLE ONE, I'M FULL OF GUILT

[Guilt_beyond_imagination]

DebbieGD,

I am so sorry and sad you are feeling like this. I felt guilt for an extremely long time. I still go through guilt phases. I understand how you feel. Was your baby a cat or dog? I know cats can be fearful at a vet office. What exactly happened?  You said her sugar went up. What happened during and after that time? You had no control over her sugar. I had a dog once before who got diabetes out of nowhere. I had to give him insulin 2x a day. That's something we cannot control. Please let me know what happened. I don't want you to go through the pain of guilt. It's an awful ride. I lost 17 pounds right after it happened. I got really sick. I have low blood pressure and it was borderline high for meds. Luckily I got it back to normal. I am still sad about my little guy, Parker, as you can see from my posts. I want to understand what happened to your baby, and what was her name?  Please stay on this site and people here will comfort you. I've been here more than a year. I've met nice and understanding people. Tina - Parker's Mom

[Guilt_beyond_imagination]

I'm so sorry Parker.  I'm sorry.  Please forgive me.  I hope you hear me.  I never got to say goodbye.  I didn't get to kiss you before you left that fateful day.  I wish I could take it all back and start over.  I'm hurting. 

I LOVE YOU FOREVER

Mom

[kayc]

Tina, Parker's Mom, I'm so sorry for your pain, I do understand.  Sunday will be one year since Arlie has been gone, I'd give anything to have him back.  I've never grieved anyone like this before except my husband.  The pain is incredible.  Still having a hard time with how he died.

[Guilt_beyond_imagination]

Well, it's been months since I've been here and I am sorry for that. I haven't written to my little one and I am way overdue. It's been getting better and I am able to let his soul rest.  I miss Parker so much everyday and he will always be in my heart.

Sometime in the fall, I was looking on Petfinder and Adopt-a-Pet. I saw a dog that looked so much like Parker to me. His description was like him. Then I saw that he had the same birthday, except 4 years younger. Well, after watching the rescue's videos of him, I knew I wanted to save another dog in honor of Parker. We live in NE PA and did a day/roundtrip to Maine to get him. He is semi feral, but he has come so far since we got him on November 30. I feel like he was sent to us for me to heal and let Parker rest. I still cannot open the cabinet where his ashes are stored, but I am able to feel better now that our new dog "Chip" is here to help me. I made it through the worst day of the year (Xmas Eve) when it all began. Chip kept me busy and my mind was not preoccupied with the day. I did not forget Parker, but I was not as much sadness as the last two years. I miss Parker all the time.  

I finally got to file my civil complaint. I waited so long for the state to respond to my state vet board complaint, that I had to file the local complaint before the statute of limitations ran out. The insurance wants to settle, but it is way to little for me. If they want to settle for more, I can do that. Parker was worth more than $500 they want to give me. That doesn't even cover the cremation and lab work they made me pay to kill my dog.

I finally heard today from the state!!  My state board complaint is officially active and they will be working on it going forward. I am ecstatic. First this local civil complaint for him and now he will be slapped with a state vet board complaint which is far more drastic than a civil complaint. I was told it will take months and months after that to know the results.  That's okay. It's in the works, that's what matters.  Maybe it's Chip who has brought me this luck and good news.

I will always think and dream of Parker and I will never forget him. A letter to him will be coming soon.

I thank all of you who write me and read my posts.  I hope to keep in touch again with all of you, especially you, KayC.

Please be well and safe to all of you through these rough times. 

Your friend,

Tina ~ Parker's Mom

Leroy, Porter, and Chip's Mom, too.

[kayc]

Tina, this post made me cry!  Thank you for your great report, both that you got Chip (and I believe God gives us these confirmations that we may know they are "the one" we're supposed to adopt!) and for what is happening with your filing.  I pray it comes to fruition.

You may recall, my little Kodie was conceived when Arlie died, born on my birthday, and his name popped into my head before I even knew he had one.  He is what I needed this year during this pandemic.  I miss all the things about Arlie that made him unique and I guess it's fitting this little guy is uniquely different as he created his own spot in my heart, patiently and undaunted by my grief.  I miss Arlie each and every day and will never stop loving him.  I talk to him, hoping he can hear my heart.  It's amazing that our hearts can begin to heal, albeit very slowly.

Wishing you the best and your family as well!

[Guilt_beyond_imagination]

Hello all, especially both of you, kayc and Marty.

I have been missing in action. It's been a while since I wrote. If you remember, an incompetent vet and staff killed my healthy 6-year old while there for a simple dental cleaning. They did everything wrong. My dog could have survived if they didn't break laws. I wrote a 49-page complaint to the state of PA.  Hooray!!  The state listened to me. I received a letter the other day from the state. By the way, I framed it. PA cited this vet for poor record keeping, he was fined over $6,000, and had to go back to school for record keeping. It was probably hard to prove he killed my dog, but his antiquated record keeping of handwritten records say enough. This disciplinary action will be public as soon as it's posted on the state site and it stays with him forever.  If he gets more complaints, he could be shut down. (Another bad vet around here was shut down and is in jail after being fined 2 million dollars for federal tax fraud.) After this state disciplinary action is published, I am going to the media. I want to be an advocate for pets and people's rights. People don't know they can write to the state and file a formal complaint. This can help save a life from bad medical errors. In PA there is no statute of limitations. People often get confused with local civil court which is about money and has a 2-year statute of limitations. I filed and he got the civil complaint the same day the state investigator was there. What a day that must have been!  I settled with local court for $750 which covered the lab work, which by the way, he did a month before the procedure -- way, way too much time before any surgical procedure. I learned this too late . . . among many other things. These are things I want to educate people about. People can file a complaint against anyone who is licensed in this state. I want people to know how to avoid bad vets, know when something doesn't seem right, give them pointers so they also don't lose their pet. If someone has already lost a pet, or has encountered an incompetent physician, etc., I want tell them to about writing a complaint. I can help them write it. 

Of course, I would have liked to see him served with more citations, but record keeping is the top one here for vets, so he was served with the highest discipline. I have a calming feeling now. As it's been said, I feel "like a weight has been lifted."  I can let my little Parker rest now.  No more tears in vain. No more blaming me or my husband. I know now that the state recognized this vet's ineptitude. I hope he fired his front desk staff. They royally screwed up and played a part in Parker's passing. My little boy can rest in peace. Justice has been served.

My Beagle, Leroy was sick for a while and it turned out to be a splenic mass. It and his spleen were removed about a month ago and good news, the mass was benign. It was huge, but at least benign!  They had him under anesthesia for this major surgery, and he's at least 11, maybe older. That other vet couldn't do a routine dental?  

This is Tina from PA (Parker, Porter, Leroy's mom, and mom of Chip, our new little boy) signing off for now. I will return. Thank you Marty for this wonderful site. I want to post in the loss of family members. I lost my only nephew, my godson, in 2020. A few years before that, his only sibling, my only niece, passed away. They were both only 40 and 32, respectively. 

~ Tina (Parker's mom)

[kayc]

Wow, you have been busy!  I applaud your efforts on behalf of your dog and everyone's!  Congratulations!