Upset and I feel like it’s my fault

[Lex]

I recently lost my golden retriever, he was 13 years old and had fluid in the abdomen. My parents took him to The vet and they said that they could do further testing but all of the reasons there could be fluid in the abdomen would require surgery which. This was all while I was at work. They ended up having him put to sleep unfortunately. I remembered that before he had started getting sick he was scared of a storm and was trying to climb through a chair we had blocking his way to downstairs. He got stuck in there and I was trying to get him out from the chair’s legs when I accidentally hit him in the abdomen with the bottom of the chair. I don’t know if this was the cause or not but it really sounds like it because he started not feeling well and having a head time moving the next day. I am so upset over this and feel aweful about it and am not sure what to think.

[kayc]

Oh Lex, I am so sorry...my dog is 1/2 Golden Retriever and I had another one in the past, they're wonderful gentle dogs and I know you must feel heartbroken to lose your dog.

Even though it does sound likely that may have been the cause, it was an accident, you were trying to help him.  I was responsible for my Fluffy's death, he climbed into our van unnoticed and I drove to work, it was hot and the van was closed up, I didn't know he was there until I got off work that night and he rolled out into my arms, stiff as a board.  They know we would never intentionally hurt them, we feel it's our job to protect and take care of them and we do our best...but there's the human factor, we don't know/see everything and try as we might we're not perfect.  

Have you tried writing him a note and telling him your feelings?  It can help.

https://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/04/pet-loss-guilt-in-wake-of-euthanasia.html