Financial things that had been getting better since she died

[David s]

Things financially had been getting better since Sue passed. Man I loved her but she had no clue about money. I get paid once a month from disability and a small check for my daughter. While Sue was alive we couldn't ever make it without borrowing. Things had sure turned the corner with her passing even though we had no insurance. Please don't get me wrong I wouldn't have traded Any amount for her. But now things just keep going from bad to worse. Had to have furnaces replaced this winter now had to replace AC unit. The dss requirements are making me spend about 600.00 over a 2 and half month period. Both my bathroom floors and plumbing have to be replaced. Now a tire just went out on the car and I am still trying to buy parts for my truck that Sue wrecked before she died. I really am grateful for everything I still have but add all the financial things on top of losing the one you loved. I just don't know what to do anymore and PLEASE I am not looking for sympathy or expecting some kind of miracle. But there are sure sometimes I just want it to be done. Can't do it myself because I could never leave my daughter that way. I am sure there are lots and lots of people going thru the same thing. But lying to myself that things will get better is getting harder and harder to do. Anyway thanks for this safe spot to rant, have a goodnight all.

 

 

 

[Gwenivere]

 David, you are still new in this lifelong journey.  You’ve left the shock phase and now face life without your partner.  Things that would have happened anyway.  It was a shock to me when life carried on and things went wrong it seems endlessly.  Fortunately not financially.  But without purpose and meaning in my heart, they become so monumental.  

[kayc]

I have gone through financial struggles since George died.  Lord knows he was not good with money either.  When he died, we had $120 in the bank.  I lost my job and it was the beginning of the recession, yet they gave only six months unemployment.  For the first time in my life I faced age discrimination, I'd never had a hard time getting a job before.  Three times I lost my job in the few years after he died.  Hospital, ambulance, doctor bills poured in, no way to pay them so I remortgaged my house.  My car had valve problems and I had to commute 100 miles/day so that meant having to buy another car, remortgaged house again to include car.  A junky old mobile home that used to be paid off and I'm still making payments.  The week I retired I discovered I needed a new roof.  There is no A/C.  No furnace.  I had to buy a new wood stove.  A new roof on the patio...the first two contractors failed miserably, taking my money with them.  Third time was a charm.  Needed a new roof on my double garage/shop/outbuilding, this time at least I knew which contractor to hire. 

I say all this to tell you that somehow we live through these things even when we don't see how.  Somehow I've never missed a meal.  The one thing I have is a roof over my head, literally.  It may need painted and new carpet, but it'll have to wait until I can do it.  And I just had to buy another car again.  I miss being able to talk these things over with George, he was always so encouraging and it helped so much to talk to him, to have his arms around me.  I felt I could face anything.  Now it's an upward struggle, but it's also been confidence building to know that I am handling these things and so much more.  Surgery with no one to help me.  A broken right elbow with no one to help me.  Ever try to buy a 40 lb bag of dogfood and no one will help you get it into your car or house?  Yes I've learned to ask for help but when help isn't forthcoming it can be discouraging.  Still, I've made it.  I look back and I don't see how, but I did.  And you will too.  These financial things are but setbacks, they FEEL worse when we're going through them.  Many a time I've reminded myself that at least I have a place to sleep, many do not.  I have food to eat, many do not.  But I would never in a million years minimize the pain of not knowing how you're going to make it, because it's a crushing weight that is very hard to go through alone.  Been there, and I'm sorry you're going through these things too.  Grief, the "gift" that keeps on giving.

[David s]

So sorry that you had to go thru so many things after suffering your major loss.

I am grateful for everything I have and no other option just to keep breathing and know somehow it will work out.

I was at the bank a few minutes before they opened. One of my front tires had went bad the night before. I asked the young man for any place to get it replaced. We walked out the bank and he handed me the money to buy the tire. I was blown away I never said I couldn't pay for one. he said God or the Holy Spirit told him to do it. Anyway just reminded me that things were going to be ok. A few days before that me and a pastor help push a broken truck to safety don't know if that had anything to do with it or not. Have a great night and thanks

[kayc]

That's a strong message, I'm glad you received that encouragement.

Getting the news about my dog (in loss of pet section), it makes everything else pale in comparison.  The house, money, nothing matters but having my little boy (as I call Arlie) with me a little longer.  

Always taking a day at a time...

[shebert56]

On 6/7/2019 at 9:38 PM, David s said:

he said God or the Holy Spirit told him to do it.

Davis s, 

Angels come when we least expect them and need them the most.  This stranger's soul reached out to touch yours.  Blessings to you.  And to him.

~Shirley