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Loss of beloved cat


jmd201

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I woke up one Saturday morning with my beloved cat, Tiger, dead in bed beside me.  He always slept with me.  He had arthritis and kidney disease, but he had been doing well and I thought he'd be around for many more months.  I am devastated by this loss.   I cannot get the picture of him dead next to me in bed out of my head.  He had his eyes open and so I thought he was alive.  I picked him up and said, wake up Tiger, but he was gone.  Can somebody please help me?  How do I get over this?

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I am so sorry to hear about your beloved cat Tiger. That is so sad and what a heart-wrenching experience. It is surely a devastating loss, and I'm sure you will miss him terribly for some time. When we lose someone, the last events and images tend to stick in our minds. Those images don't get replaced, but we kind of add to them as time moves along with other images. I'm sure it was awful to discover like you did that he was dead, but animals and people do have some ability to choose the moment when they pass on. It seems likely that he wanted to be there close to you sleeping when he took his last breaths. It seems to happen a lot that a person or animal seems to be doing better when they were actually very close to the end. We never know for sure - and doctors don't either - when the end will be. 

Grief is a long path and no one can tell you what you need the most. You can read through this site and see what has been helpful to others; there are many kind and compassionate people here who have been on the same road as you. Each person's grief is unique and don't feel obliged to walk your path by anyone else's directions. People will say all kinds of things that don't help and may even feel hurtful. Try to accept what is helpful and feels good to you, and let the rest go.  My suggestion is that you be kind to yourself and realize that it takes time.

Also, keep reaching out to us here... 

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I am very sorry for your loss.  You don't say how long it's been, but if you continue having problems with the images, there is something you can do...
https://www.healthjourneys.com/blog/ask-belleruth/have-you-heard-of-emotional-freedom-technique-eft.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2010/03/using-emotional-freedom-techniques-eft.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/03/in-grief-using-eye-movement.html

Grief counseling might benefit you also, look for a counselor that specializes in pet loss.

I would try, every time that image came up, thinking of another more positive image of a good time with Tiger.  It may take some concerted effort but with repeated effort perhaps it'd help?  Images can be pretty powerful, they're memories that are saved to our brain differently.

I agree with what Laura has said, that at least he was with you to the end, right where he found comfort.

 

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Thank you for your replies and help.  My Tiger died 3 months ago and it hasn't been very long but it hurts terribly.  I don't know if keeping his pictures out is helpful or just making it worse.  Another thing is that I work at home and Tiger was always next to me while I worked on my computer.  Now he is not there and his loss is just so hard. 

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When my husband died, I put his pictures up, made a shrine, took them down, up, down, depending on how it made me feel at the time.  They're now up to stay.  I would say go with what feels comfortable for you and it could change from one week to the next.

I know how hard it is, I am losing my dog to cancer and it's literally life-sucking living with this anticipated loss.  My heart goes out to you.

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Here's another link you might find helpful:

 

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