Unnatural grieving

[LilLlama]

Hey. I lost my rabbit a month ago and I don't feel like I've had any movement forward with the death. She was the first pet I had that I have felt so connected with. I suffer from crippling social anxiety and she was the one thing that could get me through the day. We were inseparable. I even thought of making her a service animal so that I could actually go to the store like a big girl (I'm 27 and I need someone to be with me.) I'm not trying to be rude and I apologize if it offends anyone. It's been a month since her death and I think about her every day. I come home and I feel like maybe she's going to be there. I even felt the need to dig her up and hold her, which I won't be doing. I have never felt this way before about a death. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I can't live my life. I don't want to tell people that though because I don't want to hurt their feelings. 

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your bunny, my dear, and it's obvious from your post how very attached you were to her. No surprise, then, that you are feeling the acute pain of grief in the wake of this significant loss. We do not mourn for those we do not love.

You say it's been a month and you don't feel as if you've made any forward movement since, so I hope you will consider finding a counselor who specializes in pet loss, or seeing if there is an in-person pet loss support group offered in your community. (See Finding Support for Pet Loss.)

It may also help to do some reading about what is normal in grief ~ and particularly about the grief we experience following the death of a cherished animal companion ~ so you'll know your reactions are not "crazy" ~ and you may discover some coping mechanisms that are useful. (You'll find a list of such articles on this page: Pet Loss .)

Since you suffer from "crippling social anxiety" have you ever considered getting another animal to help you with that? (e.g., Can A Service Dog Help with Your Anxiety?)

 

[kayc]

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through this...my dog is my companion and has been for 10 1/2 years, he is dying of cancer.  Since his diagnosis 5 1/2 weeks ago, it has changed my life up side down, so I can relate.  I also have anxiety but not social, GAD.  Have you seen a doctor about your anxiety?  I'm getting help for both my anxiety and sleep issues.  I used to try to tough it out but I've changed my stance on that, whatever is helpful.

Marty gave you some good articles so I hope you'll read them.  I hope you'll consider another service animal.  Try not to worry about what others think, it's more important how YOU are feeling!  You're number one and that's what counts!

My condolences on your loss, I know it's hard.

[LilLlama]

I do have medication for my anxiety. I find it does help a lot but I still require a lot of coping strategies. I definitely like the idea of a person who specializes in pet loss to talk to. I will definitely read those articles. Thank you. I can't imagine how hard that must be for the prolonged suffering of your companion. I'm sorry. I will look into a service animal. I do feel that I really need one. 

[kayc]

Yeah, anxiety meds don't totally fix my anxiety either but they take the edge off so I can better cope.  Still have it in the middle of the night...I recite "He will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee." a lot!

I think a service animal would be helpful, good luck in looking into that and a pet grief counselor!