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A Very Anxious Day!

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i dont know where to begin so here it goes. first off my mom died in november in a nursing home, i was holding her hand when she took her last breath. i have been a stay at home mom for the last 4 years. my field is occupational therapy in sub acute setting (aka nursing home). part of why i havent worked in this setting for the last few years even though i could have, was because of my mom being in a nursing home and i just couldnt handle it. i recently had a very part time job opportunity literally fall into my lap, right in my town etc etc. i started orientation on friday and actually had my first day of work yesterday. now of course i was nervous about starting a new job (who isnt) and to top it off because of being exposed to tb a number of years ago they want me to have a chest xray done because i cant have the skin test done anymore. so im anxious about that, because i am of course convinced they will find something! but i digress, this isnt what this is about. anyway, i go to work yesterday and actually feel really great about it. i didnt realize how much i missed working w/ the elderly and how much i miss working as an ot. i really and truly love it. anyway, last night i was having major anxiety. i couldnt figure out "why". so i start telling my husband who says "i think its from just being in the nursing home today, its making you think of your mom" so as soon as he said that my anxiety dropped literally about 75%! so i guess im just "venting" here to try to get myself to think/feel about this. ive got to go to work again today!

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