Mom Just Diagnosed

[theochocolate]

I have browsed this forum a bit, and feel a little silly for struggling with my situation when others seem to be going through much worse. But I just need a place to vent and get support. My mom was just diagnosed last month with Parkinson's disease. She's only 60, I'm in my 30s. I expected to have more time to prepare for a major illness like this, so her diagnosis has really caught me off guard.

I just feel so much helplessness and despair. There's no way to know how long she has to live, or how long before her mind goes or her ability to communicate deteriorates. To make matters worse, my parents are not well off and my mom is the only one working right now. My dad is also 60 and got laid off 2 years ago, but is really struggling to find a job because of his age. I am currently in grad school and do not have the means to help out my parents, though I would love to. I am anticipating the possibility that they may need to move in with me at some point, and that I may need to be a caretaker for my mom.

This is just so life-altering in so many ways. It is hard to wrap my mind around it. Knowing that there is even more grief ahead, as I watch my mom deteriorate, is overwhelming. In some ways this diagnosis is harder than even something like cancer (and I have lost multiple loved ones to cancer) because there's no hope for a cure. I feel like the best I can hope for is that something else takes out my mom before she deteriorates too much...a bleak prospect indeed.

[kayc]

I am so sorry.  I lost my mom 5 years ago this month to Lewy Bodies Dementia which is kind of like a combination of Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.  She also had Leukemia.  Her dementia went on for many many years but the worst of it was the last 3-4 years.  We had to sell her home to pay for her dementia care facility.  There was no way we could take care of her ourselves when we were working and no support (my husband passed 14 years ago)...it requires 24/7 care.

I hope you'll stay in close touch with her doctor.  You might want to consult Adult & Family Services for suggestions on help available.  There's Home Health, we used their services when my MIL was bedridden with cancer for three years, they were a godsend!  There's also service for someone to come help out six hours a week, it can be housecleaning, shopping, errands, whatever is needed.  Also ask about services for yourself, there are supports for caregivers.

[MartyT]

And you'll find many such services listed here:  Caregiving In Serious Illness: Suggested Resources