how to go on without my ESA

[Chris-girl]

I just lost my rat Dexter almost a month ago and my life feels so empty. I got 3 more to replace him but it didnt work. No one is Dexter. My heart is broken and I am having a hard time functioning. I hold my other animals and dont feel fulfilled like I did when I held him. I cant talk about him without crying. I cant even write this without crying. I cant believe a little critter has made himself so dispensible in my life that I cant live without him. I stare at the ground where he now lies and wish I was in there with him. I dont know how to go on...

[mimms]

hey.

sorry i cant console you, but i feel the same way. im in the same situation. except i haven't gotten 3 new dogs. yet..

im guessing that means im not alone in this feeling right now. and i hope someone comes along with any piece of hope or light or something.

i lost my Mimms. my light. she was my everything. my little princess. a black pug, she was 9 years and 7 months.

 

[Maylissa]

Chris-girl, I'd like to suggest you get the book, "Animals And The Afterlife: True Stories of Our Best Friends' Journey Beyond Death" by Kim Sheridan. Her beloved ratty, June, is featured in the book, and taught her (Kim) so very much, both in her earthly living, and in her transition.

https://www.amazon.com/Animals-Afterlife-Stories-Friends-Journey-ebook/dp/B000SEJJI2

You can never "replace" anybody, as we're all utterly unique. So yes, those who we resonate with on the deepest of levels do become indispensable in our lives. That said, others still have love to give us, and to receive from us, even if not in quite the same ways or to the same depth. It can be a long journey to work out "how to go on," but I hope this book might help you connect with some aspects of that.

[kayc]

I am sorry I missed this post.  I'm very sorry for your loss.  Maylissa is so right, we can't replace them, we can only open our hearts to experience a new love.  I don't think I could ever feel about another like my Arlie, but hope to get to the point where I can love another for who they are.  It's hard.

[MartyT]

I missed them, too, Kay ~ not sure why. (I take it as my responsibility to read each and every post in these forums, and I know that KayC takes it upon herself to do the same.) Thank you, Maylissa, for your kind and thoughtful response ~ and I agree with you completely in your recommending Kim Sheridan's beautiful book. It wasn't until I read Animals and The Afterlife that I came to appreciate that rats can be such wonderful and loving companions too. ♥

[kayc]

My little sister had one when she was a child, named Rat-Rat, and he was sweet smelling and we all loved him.  

Maylissa, I've saved that book for when I place an order or get my Kindle going again, it's one I want to read.

[Calire]

On 8/5/2019 at 12:13 AM, Chris-girl said:

I just lost my rat Dexter almost a month ago and my life feels so empty. I got 3 more to replace him but it didnt work. No one is Dexter. My heart is broken and I am having a hard time functioning. I hold my other animals and dont feel fulfilled like I did when I held him. I cant talk about him without crying. I cant even write this without crying. I cant believe a little critter has made himself so dispensible in my life that I cant live without him. I stare at the ground where he now lies and wish I was in there with him. I dont know how to go on...

I understand where you're coming from - we just lost our rat in a terrible accident last week. But I would still encourage you to love on your other rats as much as possible - not as "replacements" but as new friends. You can still honor Dexter's memory while doing your best as a pet owner to your new rats. That's my plan - we have 5 babies who still need love and affection, and you have 3 who still need you! 🐀