Several difficult first

[feralfae]

Gwen, I was reading your posts here, and I remember when I was here when my husband Doug died, and you were a comforting presence in my life then, and I was so happy to see you are still here now that I am back with the loss  of my mother. Your insights, and your way of describing what you go through, really affirms my own sense of loss and life. I love the many blankets analogy you used to describe the sense of not being whole anymore. Thank you dear one.  We all keep making it one day at a time. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you. *<twinkles>*

[Gin]

Yes, nothing comes near to what Al and I meant to each other.  NOTHING!   Gin

[Gwenivere]

I’m so sorry about your mother, Feralfae.  A very deep bond.  My first big loss and absolutely no one understood.  Not even Steve and he apologized for being impatient with me when his mother passed.  Gads, what does passed mean?   Died.   Just hate the word.  I’m glad my posts helped.  I’m so full of pain I have to get it out.  When I was full of joy I savored it and spread it to people because it felt so good.  This is like purging I have to do or feel sick in the soul.  This inner pain has outsiders just scratching their head as to why I’m not over it.  

Gin, caps are the perfect way to emphasize nothing.  NOTHING EVER COMES CLOSE!

[feralfae]

Thank you Gwen.  I am so sorry for your loss, and glad you have found a place here to share and be a part of this community. You know how people say that Joy shared is Joy multiplied, and sorrow shared is sorrow halved?  I think that has some truth.  We need to talk about our pain, just to let it out, and also knowing the listener is not going to need to carry what we share, at least not so much. I agree that we need to purge. I have a lot of sweet memories of Doug, and I am purging a lot of the pain from that time. I want to carry happy, Light-filled memories that do not pull me down into a spiral of sadness and despair. But sometimes, I need to share enough so that I can lighten my heart to keep from being pulled down, too. Thank you very much for understanding and knowing that.  Yes, Gin and Gwen, NOTHING comes close. *<twinkles>*

[Johnny]

My time in Seattle has come to an end. Flying back home to South Carolina tomorrow. Can't wait to see my two fur babies Strider boy and little girl Arwen.

That reminds me, congratulations KayC on your new addition to your fur baby family! 😊

[Gwenivere]

Johnny, your getting out at the beginning of a big storm coming with massive rain.  But supposedly we get actual sunshine next week.  Hope Seattle treated you well.  Just don’t tell anyone it’s a nice place.  A rule we have here as we don’t want anymore people moving here! Send them to Dee in Tacoma.  😁

i bet your dogs will be thrilled to have you home.  Lots of wagging!

[widow'15]

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

A rule we have here as we don’t want anymore people moving here! Send them to Dee in Tacoma.  😁

Gwen:  You are correct the Pacific NW has gotten too many people in spite of our RAIN and grey clouds.  Seems the beautiful scenery is too inviting.  Seattle has become so expensive to live that more Seattlites are encroaching on Tacoma more and more.  Oh well, guess that is progress.  Don't give anymore folks the idea of adding to our traffic problems.  Dee 😉

[widow'15]

5 hours ago, Johnny said:

My time in Seattle has come to an end. Flying back home to South Carolina tomorrow. Can't wait to see my two fur babies Strider boy and little girl Arwen.

That reminds me, congratulations KayC on your new addition to your fur baby family! 😊

Johnny:  Safe trip home to Strider and  Arwen.  I can imagine how excited they will be when they see you.  I know your Mom will be happy to have you back on the East coast.  Dee

[Gwenivere]

Oops, Dee, you caught me.  Was hoping to sneak any more encroachers your way.  How about the Tacoma Dome?  You could jam them all in there! Since we lost the Kingdome, we don’t have anyplace to contain the out if state relocation critters.   I don’t know about Tacoma, but up here?  It’s getting harder and harder to find a bare piece of land.  

I was noticing how I react to changes now.  A little here or there was OK.  But so much as changed since Steve died.  Many memory places I used to sigh when passing.  It hurt.  But now that so many are gone, I’d take the sighs back.  I pass places and conversations would pop into my head we had.  Or nicknames we had for them.  It’s hard enough life erased him from me.  Now the city is doing it.  There just is no stopping time because if I could and keep a time constant, it would be time with him.  What is really hard down the line is in 5 years more is known that could have helped him.  I know it’s been this was as medicine has evolved, but I can’t help but get so sad that he might till be here.  His was very severe, so doubtful, but the love inside me will always be holding that candle in the now dark.

[kayc]

Johnny, we bid you farewell to the PNW but I'm sure you'll be happy to be home with your fur family.

Kodie was in my arms and fell from standing height, he was wriggling too much for me to stop him, I think he thought I tossed him down, he cried and cried, but I think he's okay, hurt his feelings more than anything.  Hard to teach him I'm a safe place when something like that happens.  Poor little guy, wish he could stay in this innocent bubble where nothing bad ever happens.

 

[Johnny]

Thanks for the fond farewell from the PNW. Seattle is an amazing place and the people are nice.

Ironic that I would have to travel all the way back to the deep South to see my first frost. 

Strider and Arwen were overjoyed to see me after 47 days! It did my heart a great deal of good to see them play together again.

KayC reminded me of the time when Strider was little and it seems that everything went in his mouth. When I saw him pick something up off the floor in his mouth that he was not supposed to have I would hurriedly put my finger in his mouth and scoop it out and hopefully take it from him before he had a chance to swallow.

Once, I got an electric mixer for mixing cake batter. I took it out of the box and the chord was tied together with a plastic tie. When I cut the plastic tie with the scissors it fell on the floor and before I could pick it up, Strider grabbed it in his mouth and looked straight at me and swallowed.

I panicked because I knew that swallowing the plastic tie could hurt him. Fortunately, he spit it back up and I was so relieved. They are just like little children and they can get themselves in trouble very quickly.

I found out when I went in for work to turn in my expense reports, that I will be returning to Seattle to help out the second field service team aboard the ship again in February, and I will be there for a whole month. This time it will be Seattle in the winter. No idea what that could be like. Can't imagine being there with snow or ice.

Lots of big hills with steep roads.

[kayc]

I've heard in the news that there's flooding, saw pictures.  I wish you well in February...that was when we had our "Snowpocolypse" (as it came to be known by) last year.  Hoping to make it through winter without a repeat.

Yes, Kodie is keeping me busy.  Yesterday he managed to get under a recliner...how he slithered under the 1/2" space I do not know, but he cried and cried as I tried to locate him and pull the chair up and get him out from under it.  It's like having a baby in the house except with chewing!

[KarenK]

Kay, I sympathize. When our black lab, Mickey was a baby, his favorite thing was to chew the plaster on the edges of the walls. Go figure!

[kayc]

I went to my son's, spent the night, Kodie did amazing. No accidents, didn't chew anything but his toys. Of course it takes a lot of watching...