It's been almost 9 years since my daughter's been gone and I'm still haven't been able to grieve

[Della]

Hi , So this site was suggested to me from a lady I've known for awhile . So my name is Della I'm 25 years old and on October 15 , 2010 I gave birth to my daughter Kendra Nicole Morris and she was pronounced stillborn, my biggest problem is I've never been capable of grieving , because after her passing I went straight to self medicating myself so I could be numb and not have to deal with the pain and the realization of her death. Well It's been almost 9 years and I'm finally sober and im trying to learn how to grieve and try to learn what tools i could use , and where I may be able to find support from people that has also experienced the loss of a child so I have people that understand and also will be able to help me through it . Thank You

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your baby Kendra Nicole. On this site, we are all about understanding and sharing our grief as we strive to support one another. I can assure you that your grief hasn't "gone" anywhere, and no matter when you've decided to address it, it is never too late to do so. So we welcome you with open arms and caring hearts.

You might begin your own grief journey by doing a bit of reading about what is normal in grief, so you'll have a better understanding of what you may be feeling ~ and what you might try to better manage your own reactions. Here are some suggestions to get you started:

Grief: Understanding The Process

Silent Grief: Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Bereavement: Doing the Work of Grief

In addition, be sure to check out our Tools for Healing forum, here: https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/forum/29-tools-for-healing/

[kayc]

You're in good hands with Marty.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost three but before they were born so I always felt like they didn't count because that's how society views it, but they counted to me.  We never forget them.  Congratulations on your sobriety!  It's never too late to do our grief work, it's still waiting when we come to.

[Jackie - Richard]

Della...

...i have not been through your loss so i cant claim to understand the loss of a young child-a baby...( my sudden loss is my partner of 20 years, Richard ) but, as a 68 year old with a daughter soon to be 50, a grandson 31, and a great grandson soon to be 4, you could be my grand-daughter if i had one, in age, and all i want to do right now is give my virtual granddaughter, a virtual (( hug )) if i may..i think you are desperately needing one...

Well-done on kicking the bottle habit...my own daughter too has a bottle problem, been going on and off since her mid teens, i shan't go into the whys...

Jackie...