kebery Posted October 2, 2019 Report Share Posted October 2, 2019 So I am 24 and I lost my mum (aged 56) 3 weeks ago. To be honest I don't know how I feel about it all. Some days I feel fine and get on with life which then later on makes me feel guilty as I feel like I should be more upset. Other days I want to curl up and hide and do absolutely nothing all day. (I can't do that as I have a dog and a horse). Equally, my dad is now on his own, the first time in 40 years he's been alone and it just breaks my heart knowing that he's all alone. He tried to go back to work on Monday (3 weeks to the day mum passed) and he said in his words "it was an epic fail". He got there but fell apart so was sent home and tired to work from home but struggled so just lay on the bed crying. This absolutely breaks my heart as I know there is nothing I can do besides be there for him which I am. I wish I could do more. Also I have hardly cried about the situation. I start to but I actually don't cry and I have no idea why. I feel like I should be crying more. I also have to keep telling myself she is dead and that's when my heart skips a beat and I realise its real again. I feel like I am in a film and the past 3 weeks haven't been real. My friend says I am being strong for my dad and not actually allowing myself grieve but I don't know how to grieve. This is such a hard situation to be in. I keep just wishing I could turn back time and be with mum again. I still can't believe she's not here. I'm going to a friends wedding in a few weeks where I want to have a good time as I'm with some of my closest friends but I know I will drink and I'm worried I will just fall apart there and I really don't want to. Sorry for the randomness and length of the post. I just needed to get everything that's in my head down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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