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Going to sleep


S and S

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Hello,

Tomorrow our beautiful boy Dalmation Maz is going to be put to sleep. Maz has not been able to walk without assistance for several days and now he has stopped eating. My wife and I decided this morning that it was best for our boy as this is no life.

It's really difficult to type but I just wanted to put my pain out to the void as I can't think of anything else to do and just feel so helpless. 

I'm not a religious man but I just hope he goes somewhere nice and is looked after the way we have looked after him.

We have a girl Dalmation who is 11 years old and she knows something is going on.

I send my love to all those that are in this most sad situation.

 

Simon

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Simon,

I am so sorry!  I know the excruciating pain that is involved with this as I recently went through this same decision with my sweet boy, Arlie, who had inoperable cancer and lymphoma.  It is true, as Marty said, that we take on the suffering when they go out of it.  The last couple of months have been incredibly hard as I miss my boy more than I can say.  He was/is everything to me and I haven't hurt like this since my husband died 14+ years ago.

That said, it was absolutely the right decision.  We beat ourselves up pretty good afterwards, thinking, "I could have had another week with him." or maybe "I should have done it a week sooner.  It's hard to know when is the absolutely right time because this isn't an "absolute" decision, it is one we make to the best of our ability with their utmost in mind, and the knowledge that we have at the time.  I recently learned that their is going to be a dog cancer center go up in Eugene, a nearby city, and I thought, "Oh why couldn't they have gone up sooner?!"  Why couldn't there have been help when my Arlie needed it!  But alas his was too far gone when I discovered it, and that wouldn't have made a difference if it had existed, not for my Arlie anyway.

I do hope you'll continue coming here for a while, let us know how it went, you're in my thoughts and prayers.  You say you're not a religious person, but that isn't necessary, to hope for the best for them...so much of afterlife is unknown territory to us, but I can't bear the thought of not being with my Arlie again, so I continue to hope and choose to believe in what may be mostly unknown to us.  He was such a vibrant spirit, I can't believe he died and that's it. 

I hope the thought of this brings you some comfort, regardless of belief or lack of it...when I view videos of the galaxies beyond it helps me to believe that just maybe...there's a whole lot we don't know and yet mankind is discovering more every day.  I am glad you and your wife have each other to go through this with, that you can lean on each other and be each other's support, it's terribly hard to go through alone.

 

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Thank-you both, Marty and Kay.

In 4 hours time we will say out last goodbyes and loving kisses and cuddles. I will tell him we will see him again.

I am dreading it but I must be strong for Maz and my wife.

I will come back when I can...

Simon

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Oh man, my heart is with you, I know how hard that day was.  I wouldn't have made it without my son...he took the day off work, drove here 2 1/2 hours the night before, brought his auger to help with digging the grave, even brought his Baja so Arlie could jump into it because he thought the Nissan pickup might be too hard for him...he was right.  Arlie had gotten so weak he barely made it into the Baja.  

Still I got my last walk in with him, and fixed him a special breakfast with his Colitis diet and omelet/cheese mixed in.  He was happy about that and I brought a can of catfood with us, he'd always wanted one, he scarfed it down like he couldn't believe it.

I hope there are some special memories today and not only the losing him part.  Sending you thoughts for comfort and peace with your little guy.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My heart goes out to you. We have had to make that decision so many times through the years. It is so difficult. But what a gift it is as well, to be able to love our companions enough to do what is necessary to end their suffering. In 1995 I had to make the decision for my amazing Irish Setter Gabriel.  He was 13 1/2, could no longer walk well, got stuck in corners, was obviously in pain. Then my beloved Boots in 2011; he had developed cognitive impairment. Most recently my adoring, loving, gentle Peggy Sue (rescue Irish Setter). 9/25/19. We have had about 20 dogs & only two died without being euthanized. It is always an agonizing, sad, difficult decision. Bless you for loving your baby enough to do the most loving thing. 

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In case you're second guessing the euthanasia decision (it's common to even when we know it's in their best interest)...
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/04/pet-loss-guilt-in-wake-of-euthanasia.html

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Well I have come back to the thread. Thank-you all very much for your words and thoughts. Maz has gone and of course there is a hole in our lives.

But now his companion is ill, our lady dalmatian "Chip" of 11 years. Just not fair. I think Chip was mourning as she hadn't eaten anything for 10 days since her friend has gone - only sugar water and egg yolk occasionally. The vet tried various treatments but she got so weak that the vet took her in yesterday and gave her a drip with nutrients. She was OK though very weak after that but I haven't seen her yet. She'll be in for 3 days or so and I'm waiting for an update this afternoon. The vet says she is not eating because she is in pain and it's pointing towards a problem with her back. 2019 has been a bad year for us but we are hoping she will pull through. Losing one friend is hard enough for us to bear.

Thank-you

Simon

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Simon,

I am so sorry for this added distress...I will add your Chip to my prayers.  You are right, nothing is fair in grief/loss.  I'm so sorry for the loss of Maz, I know this is all terribly hard and painful.  It's been 10 1/2 weeks for me and I'm still crying.  Not sure I'll ever "get over" this loss.  It's hard to live with, I miss him so much.  Sending you my condolences.

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Hi Simon - so sorry to read about Chip. I hope things get better. We lost 2 dogs in one summer (2009) - Riffraff was 12, she had either canine Ehrlichiosis (sp?) or multiple myeloma. Later that summer our darling Veil, also age 12, died of lung cancer. It was horrible. Thinking of you & your baby. 

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Thank-you Marty, Kay and Peggy Sue.

Tomorrow Chip will have been at the vet for 1 week. She is eating and getting intravenous nutrient suppliments but unfortunately when she does not have these her temperature is dropping. We haven't see her for 1 week and in 11 years she has never been without one of us. I hope she is strong. I don't think I can go  and see her as I'm not strong enough and it may disturb the routine she has with the vet who is very sympathetic.

Chip has always relied on visual communication as she is 100% deaf. We noticed over the years that wherever we are she always manoeuvred a "sight line" to know where her companions are. I think she is mainly in a room by herself at the moment as the vet goes about her day to day tasks. I hope she knows we won't let her down even though she cannot see us.

It's Sunday afternoon, my wife is working until this evening and the house is empty. It's very difficult to get the energy to do anything and everything just seems pointless. I feel pathetic and should be stronger and try and sum up some energy but I just wanted to put my thoughts down as a kind of release knowing you kind people are there to support folk like me.

I really, really  appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

Edited by S and S
Missed out something I wanted to relay
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The vet has diagnosed kidney failure and she that cannot continue without the intravenous supplements. We have all made the  decision to not continue her vet treatment and we will bring her home tomorrow so she can be with us in the environment she has known and loved for years and we can be with her.

This is so very hard to bear. That our two beautiful friends will have been taken from us withing a month. I have nothing else I can add apart from thank you all for your understanding and kind words. 

All my love to you and your friends,

Simon

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Can you schedule a vet to come to your home and euthanize her so that she can be free from suffering in the environment she feels most comfortable in?  I thought of doing that with my dog with his cancer but alas I knew he'd be suspicious and in guard dog mode with anyone he didn't know entering our home.  So for us it worked better to take him to the vet for that, even though it was a new vet office to him, he knew it as such and also knew they were there to help him.

So hard, no matter how you do it.  I pray for strength for you all.  God be with you in your final time together.

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Oh Simon, I am so so so sorry. The lose your two darlings so close together if heartbreaking. My sister (who passed away in June) dealt with a similar situation in 1995. Her sweet Golden Retriever Princess had died in September from cancer. Princess was 13. She had another Golden name Daisy who was only 9. She thought she would have Daisy for at least a few more years. But in January Daisy went into renal failure.& ultimately passed away I know how incredibly sad Ginger was. Please know that you are in my thoughts & prayers. 

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I, too, have had too Goldens, they're wonderful but with one of the lower life expectancies.  I was hoping Arlie being half Husky would live longer, alas it wasn't to be.

2 hours ago, S and S said:

Yes Kay. We have that in place. She will always be with people she knows. Thank you for your prayers.

I'm sorry, this is tough no matter how you do it. I will seriously be praying for you as I know how very hard that time was for me just 11 1/2 weeks ago.

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