Jump to content

Recommended Posts

5 years ago Steve died yesterday.  9 years ago he told me he would.  It’s been a very bad day and the evening is proving to be a challenge.  i feel him all uaround me in memories but I don’t feel him.  I’ve been very lightheaded and feeling panic and like I am going to pass out.  So scary bring alone.  

I love you SteeBee.  I always will.  

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(((hugs)))

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As life would have it, my fur baby Ally drastically changed last night.  She wouldn’t lay down, was trembling from all the standing and was in pain.  I couldn’t get her to an ER vet in the middle of the night.  I am taking her this afternoon after waking to find she pooped in the house and ate very little food.  I want them to keep her overnight as I don’t want to have to go thru what she did last night.  I thought she had sprained her leg jumping out of the car but this is very serious.  I’m not recovered from Steve’s anniversary yesterday and feel I am losing my mind.  There is no one to call ghost can physically be with me.  My mind is all over the place.  Is it worse to get a phone call with bad news or find them yourself?  Steve was a phone call while getting ready to go there.  I might be ahead of myself, but I know my dog and this is wrong.  I don’t know how I will handle tonight.  I was scare when I woke up a few hours after going to sleep last night as she moved to sleep in a place she never had and I needed to see if she was breathing.  Still waiting on my own doctor for help with my leg.  Cannot do another ER trip now nor do I want to.  I’m just stunned at the timing of this.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh Gwen, no not Ally.  Keeping you and your baby in my heart and letting you know you are in my thoughts as you go through this difficult time.  Sincere wishes she will be ok and you will be able to get through this.    Dee

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, widow'15 said:

Keeping you and your baby in my heart and letting you know you are in my thoughts as you go through this difficult time.  Sincere wishes she will be ok and you will be able to get through this.  

Yes. Amen. ❤️

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone.  Ally is home with me and seems to be doing better.  She starts A new pain med tonight. Vet said it could be dementia episodes as well when she acts strange.  I had to go to 2 vets so it was a long afternoon.  Didn’t sleep well of course last night.  Know I will be tense again tonight in anticipation of the new med and tomorrow morning.  I know the inevitable will come, but I begged the universe to not have it be close to Steve so am grateful for that.  Hugs to you all.  💖

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gwen,

I am so sorry for all you've been through this past day/night.  Am glad Ally is doing better and hope the medicine continue to help her.  I know what she means to you, what you mean to each other.  Hard enough going through the anv. of Steve...so hard.  Sending my best thoughts and prayers for you and Ally.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gwen,

What a scary time for you! So tough because our fur babies can't tell us what is wrong. I'm glad you were able to get her to the vet and she is doing better. Will be thinking of you and Ally, hoping you get some rest tonight.

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gwen,

I'm so sorry.  I hope you and Ally are both doing better this evening.  As if the nights are bad enough - now something to make them even worse.  I hope the meds help her and you both get a good night's sleep.

And this on top of the anniversary date, I'm sure, was very difficult.  Hugs to you...

Mary

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gwen,

How is Ally doing?  My heart is with you both.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ally is doing much better.  The new med seems to agree with her.  She wanted to come with me going out but I made her stay home so no jumping in the car or jumping down.  I’m still recovering.  Always I envy their being in the moment and then it is forgotten (at least the bad ones).  I’m still tense and felt it trying to volunteer today and doing a couple of errands.  Another bad nights sleep as some nerve in my messed up back must have got tweaked and I keep jerking around and my hands are clumsy.  I still haven’t fully processed the 5th anniversary about Steve.  Oddly as luck would have it, 2 women also in the vet waiting room were in the medical field and discussing work (incubation, chemo, etc) so that got to me.  What were the odds?  😰

thank you all for your messages and caring.  

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gwen:  So happy to hear Ally is doing well.  If only processing another year without Steve could be eased by a prescribed medication.  I understand how the pain and disbelief of his absence  manages to remain within.  

Today was such a beautiful sunny day I told myself I needed to go outside and try to get some yard work done - nothing too heavy, just felt I needed to be outside.  It felt really good, but so many reminders of how much my husband and I used to do together to keep this yard maintained.   I miss him checking on me in the yard and his just wanting to see what I was doing.  Miss his presence so much too.

Sorry you had to overhear the conversation of the two medical women.  So many triggers everywhere.

Dee

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gwen, I'm so glad Ally  is doing better.  Gosh I'm sorry about your back.  It's been five weeks since I messed up my right shoulder carrying heavy coolers of food, they were huge, what was I thinking!  I'm not 40 anymore.  I can't believe how long it's taking healing, it might be better but I had to buy some catfood and 40 lbs was beyond my limit but they didn't have smaller bags.  Gosh what I wish for George to still be here.  Life is so much harder without his help.  No one realizes that this just goes on and on.

I did manage to sweep the cones out of the driveways and the needles off the 40'ramp.  And picked up the never-ending branches that came down in the windstorm.  I'm okay if I don't move wrong but haven't yet figured out what brings on the pain, it's so sharp and sudden, hoping it's just a pulled muscle.  I know they take a while to heal so am giving it time before I cry wolf.

I thank God for this place...every little bit of connectedness helps.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No new friends, no one to call.  Just more challenges.  Just glad my dog is hanging in there.  Thanks for asking, Dawn.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...