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Laura C

Missing my sweet sweet girl...

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My 10 year old German Shepherd Juno died on 10-11-19 and life just hasn't been the same for me.  I am also dealing with my youngest daughter leaving for college (she moved on 9-21, then the dog passed on 10-11) and feeling so lonely and useless!!  Sometimes I can't determine if my grief is from the dog dying or the empty nest or BOTH!!!!!

I am a nurse, currently home on a medical leave after shoulder surgery.  The house is quiet and sad all day...I try to stay busy but find I am crying, sitting, and over eating.  This is increasing my feelings of emptiness!!!!  I go back to work on 11-25, so I know that will be helpful to me.  I am mostly just needing to share and unload about my grief.

I miss her so much it hurts.  I feel like I let her down.  She had been completely healthy, one day she stopped eating and the second day her back legs gave out.  We rushed her to the vet and they found a tumor on her spleen and fluid in her abdomen.  We rushed her to the nearest Emergency Vet Medical center where they diagnosed her with Hemangiosarcoma, a ruptured splenic tumor, and abdominal bleeding.  They said that surgery would probably get us another month with her and so we decided to put her to sleep.  I question our decision daily, and can't get the picture out of my head of her laying on the floor in the exam room with her belly distended, bleeding internally.  She could only lift her head and then lay it back down...we asked her to help us make a decision and she made the weirdest crying, growling sound...I am pretty sure she was telling us it was time for her to go.  I still can't stop seeing her  there....dear lord...so darn sad...I just wish I could still have her here with me.

It will be four weeks this Friday.  My husband really, really wants to start looking for another pup.  He misses her so much too.  Thank you for reading/sharing with me.

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12 minutes ago, Laura C said:

.we asked her to help us make a decision and she made the weirdest crying, growling sound...I am pretty sure she was telling us it was time for her to go.

My dear Laura, I know that sound! Your statement above took me back to the day I had to make the same decision for my cockapoo Muffin, who'd been hit by a car and was suffering as a result. His back was broken and there was nothing our vet could do to fix it. As lay there looking at me, he was making that exact same sound, and I will never forget it. Like you, I knew that he was telling me that no matter how much I loved him and wanted him to be all right, there was no saving him. I knew I had no choice but to let him go. It broke my heart.

I'm so sorry this happened to your beautiful Juno! What a handsome boy he was! And for this to happen while you're trying to adjust to your empty nest with your daughter gone, and recovering from shoulder surgery ~ Well, it's no wonder that you're feeling as you are. You've come to the right place. Here you are among fellow animal lovers, we know how much this hurts, and we share your pain. ❤️

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I am so sorry, I know how hard this is, having recently lost my dog, Arlie, to cancer.  You made the right decision, there was no "getting better" from this, even if they could help for a time. Beautiful dog, and now when you're spending time home, to have to do so alone, that's doubly hard.

You will know if/when the time is right to look for another.  I lost my Arlie August 16 and know there will never be another Arlie.  I have looked for another dog but to no avail...I nearly adopted one but he bit me four times so I'm still healing from that.

Good luck with your shoulder, I injured mine six weeks ago but it's taking it's time.

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What a sweet face, I’m so so sorry for your loss. I lost my fur baby lulu to bad hips and frequently falling. I had to put her down on 10-19-19. It’s been almost 3 weeks and I can’t seem to snap back into life. I don’t know life without her and can completely sympathize with you. You did what was best for Juno. That’s the ultimate act of love. I have to believe we see them again. You were Juno’s person and Juno was your heart. Not even death can break that bond 💕🐾

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10 hours ago, Nichole said:

Not even death can break that bond 💕🐾

Yes!

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What a beautiful baby girl!! Thank you for sharing Juno with us. Please know that you did the right thing for your sweet puppy. Juno would have been in pain & scared after the surgery. A month was not worth it. I had to let my sweet Peggy Sue go. She had a tumor/abscess in her abdomen and was in atrial fibrillation. I wanted so much for her to be with me longer but I couldn't let her suffer. Peggy Sue died on 9/25, not long before you lost your Juno. My heart has been so empty since then. I have other dogs so my situation is not quite the same as yours. You'll know when it's time to bring a new dog into your home to love. My heart goes out to you. Juno had a wonderful life with you, one filled with love & kindness. 

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