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It doesnt hurt anymore

Devin B.

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A year and half ago my beloved dog that I grew up with as a kid passed. He was with me since I was 5 years old. He was old and pretty healthy. But his hips just caused him so much pain. And when I left for the summer to find work I knew it was wrong to keep him just to feel pain. So I told my parents that if he was in this much pain the entire time I was gone and I came back to him suffering I would be very upset. All my life death really didn't effect me. I've never really cried for a person that's passed. But last night I had a dream where I finally got to hold him. I finally got to say goodbye. But before I woke up all he said was... it doesnt hurt anymore. And when I woke up I was crying. I havent cried and so long... and now I cant stop. I don't understand why... but it's the closest I'll ever get to an actual goodbye... I miss my beautiful wolf dog. I miss you Noah.

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I hope the message you got brings you relief that your decision was right.  I too am missing my dog, he looked a lot like a wolf (he got up to 140 but got down to 106) died over four months ago (cancer)...the best dog in the whole world.  I understand your missing him...I'm so sorry.

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My friend, when we are young, oftentimes the death of a beloved animal companion is our first experience with the pain of significant loss. I think the dream awakened for you the grief that you've been holding in (consciously or not) for so long. The grief we feel at the loss of someone dearly loved (and that includes a beloved animal companion) doesn't "go" anywhere. It lies in wait until something (like a dream, or some other "trigger") reminds us of our loss and calls our attention to it. There is nothing wrong with you. Think of your tears and your pain at this loss as a measure of the love you have for the one who has died. See 

Pet Loss: A Disenfranchised Grief

Pet Loss: Amazed At How We Are Grieving

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