4 days

[Sweetie_01]

My dog had to be put down four days ago. My dad brought her home when I was in the eighth grade. She had been jumping up and down in front of the corner store he worked at. He brought her home "temporarily" you know "just until we find her owners or a new home". We found out her owners had moved and left her -probably due to the heart worms we found out she had when we took her to the vet. She was supposed to be my dad's dog, but my dad had to work a lot and my step-mom was always taking her kids to see her mom. Since I was home a lot and she had to be in the kennel and have limited amount of exercise (due to her heart worm treatment) I ended up taking care of her and she ended  up becoming my dog. She was by my side for over 16 years and loved me unconditionally the whole time. Four days ago, she had a stroke and couldn't move any part of her body. We had her put down and I cried that morning. I went to work later that day and I was sad, and I cried some, but I was okay. However, later that night I returned to an empty home and I cried hysterically. Like, it had just happened. And, I've been crying ever since. I can't eat and my heart hurts. My family has said they're sorry for my loss and that she's in a better place and she had a good life. None of those things help. Someone even told me that I should have been prepared for it, seeing as she's so old and has had some health problems. I know I probably should have been, but I feel like I wasn't. I hate going to sleep in my room. Actually, I haven't been in my room for longer than five minutes since it happened. My sister suggested that I try one of these websites. I know that I'm not the only who has loved a pet or lost a pet, but I just feel so sad and angry, and I'm not really sure what to do.

[MartyT]

Saying that you should have been prepared for the death of one who's been your faithful companion for 16 years is like saying you should be prepared for the world to end tomorrow. How can you prepare yourself for a broken heart? The only way to deal with this, my dear, is to acknowledge the enormity of what you have lost and to give yourself permission to feel whatever you may feel. Grief hurts. It hurts like nothing you've ever experienced before. The pain you feel is directly related to the level of attachment you have with the one who has died. Let those tears come, and let them be a testament to your love. Know too that, although your beloved companion has died, the love you have for her will live forever in your heart, just as long as you keep her memory alive in your mind. Find some ways to memorialize her, and celebrate the love you shared with each other. Do you have a picture or two of her that you might share with us? And can you tell us her name? What was special about her? What funny or silly things she used to do that you'll always remember? 

[kayc]

14 hours ago, Sweetie_01 said:

Someone even told me that I should have been prepared for it

I don't think there IS any preparing for loss.  We can know in the back of our minds it's going to happen but it still hits hard when they die.  Knowing about it and experiencing it are two different things.  People say things that don't help.

I am so sorry for your loss.  I'm very glad your dad found her and that you gave her a good home, but I also know the pain of loss...my "soulmate in a dog" passed four months ten days ago.  I will miss him until the day I die.  He had the most beautiful smile and personality.  My son brought me a new puppy for Christmas two weeks ago but he's not Arlie, he's worming his way into my heart, but it's a different spot than Arlie held.

I'm sorry for the pain you're going through.  I've cried buckets of tears.  Christmas I visited his grave and talked to him.  One thing my heart aches for is that he know how much I love and appreciate him, he was such a good boy, I miss him so much.  I would give up anything to have him back.  I know you're feeling that way too.  If only that choice was ours.

You did the kindest act one can do by euthanizing her when she got so bad...we exchange their suffering for our own then.  And I'd rather carry this pain than have my Arlie suffer.  I just wish I knew an easier way to bear it.

[Sweetie_01]

Thank you for your kind words.Her name was Sweetie. She was a terrior mix. She used to growl at new people until they would reach out and try to let her sniff their hand, then she would roll over and demand they rub her tummy. Sheloved to sleep in boxes and laundry baskets. She loved riding in the car (it was the only way we could lure her back if she got out of the fence). She snored like an old man and loved to hog the covers and I really miss that when I go to bed.

[kayc]

Ahh, I can see why she was named Sweetie.  She looks a lot like my friend's terrier, very adorable.