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Taty

Miss my mommy

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I’ve never been one to post or ask for help but I’m in need of guidance. It’s almost been a year since I lost my mom and it’s been such a weight and empty void that I’ve lost myself completely. I’m struggling to make ends meet, I’m not the same person I was when she was alive. Idk how to get through this especially with the holidays passing. I’ve excluded myself out of everyone life except my boyfriend who has kept me afloat this past year. How do you all do it? How can I get through all this pain that I’ve been holding within myself. 

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My dear, I'm so sorry to learn of the loss of your mom nearly a year ago ~ the person upon whom you depended for so much and for so long.

You ask how you can get through the pain of loss, and I can only answer that you do it one day, one hour, one moment at a time ~ or as one of our members likes to say, by putting one foot in front of the other. You don't do it by just sitting there, doing nothing but holding onto the pain, which just keeps you stuck and miserable.

You can begin by reading about grief, which will help you better understand what you are thinking and feeling, and learn what you might do to manage your own reactions. Spend some time in this forum, reading through the threads that are here, to see how much you have in common with others whose parents have died. This will help you to feel less "crazy" and alone.

You might take some time to read the following ~ and note the links to related resources that are included at the base of each article:

Grief: Understanding The Process

Bereavement: Doing the Work of Grief

Taking Time to Mourn a Mother's Death

Parent Loss: Continuing Their Song

Mother Loss: A List of Suggested Resources

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16 hours ago, Taty said:

How do you all do it?

One day at a time.  And like Marty said, learn about the process.

16 hours ago, Taty said:

How can I get through all this pain that I’ve been holding within myself. 

Don't hold it in, let yourself feel it, it's part of the processing...let the tears flow.  Exhale.

I'm very sorry for your loss.  It's especially hard when you're young (my dad died when I was in my 20s and expecting my first child).  

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Dear Taty

 the grieving process is a strange phenomenon.. some people don’t seem to grieve, others Suppress their grief, then some never get the handle on living with the lost of a loved one. There is no right way to do it, but one key is to have someone to share it with ,and develop an hope for the future. 
those two support systems can handle and help you focus and heal..though the loss will neve die. Death is not natural and was never meant to be part of our lives .

 

May you find peace and comfort

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