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Robert prepares my taxes for me only so I can file the state for my property tax refund. I'm not required to file a federal due to income. I read today that you must have a return on file for 2018 or 2019 so they are aware you require a stimulus check. So will be making a copy of mine and sending it in. Just a little info if anyone else is in my shoes.

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I looked at what is required for a reduction  for property taxes in Washington and it’s phenomenal!  Not just tax returns, but proof of ownership, identity (that’s easy), I get SS survivor benefits and would have to submit that, move in year and 'general income. So, that would be overwhelming and some impossible to do.  I don’t know where the mortgage is filed.  

I checked on the stimulus checks and as long as you filed your taxes, you don’t need to do anything.  They have your name from your return.  If you’ve moved since your last return, then you are supposed to contact them.  Or if you didn’t file one this year as some very low income people don’t have to. They need the money the most so would have to contact the IRS. They’ll use 2018 if you didn’t have to do one this year.  If not 2018, then 2017.  So as long as you have filed in the last 3 years you should be fine.  Adjustments are made for people earning over $75,000.  

Quarantine sure gives me lots of time to read stuff.  I even checked out how to keep an orchid alive that my housekeeper gave me when I got out of the hospital.  Will see how it does with my simple skills as I’m not going to invest in special soils for one plant.  It would be a good hobby if I had motivation.  

Going bonkers in Seattle!

marg?  I even forgot my Xanax by 45 minutes.   Not a good thing to do these days.  🤪

 

 

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18 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I don’t know what you mean by deferred.  As in putting them off?

Exactly, until you die or sell, then they have to be paid at once including interest.  Often there's nothing left.  A friend of mine lives in IL and they do not charge their seniors property taxes on the home they live in.  It'd be nice if OR did that too.  My mom deferred her property taxes for nearly 30 years, between that and paying off her credit line and the dementia care facility for two years, wasn't much left, my brother got the pittance that was left.  So sad, her and my dad built that house and nothing left of it.

 

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16 hours ago, KarenK said:

I believe I got the smallpox vac when I was a baby.

Ours is from polio vaccinations.  A girl in gradeschool with me contracted polio when she was a baby and couldn't walk because of it. My little sister got her vaccination in her ankle so she doesn't have the scar, I still have mine, upper left arm.

Dee, congrats on the shots working!

Karen, our governor ordered dental office and vets closed unless for emergencies.  They canceled my dental appt and I canceled Kodie's vet appt.

We went from 3.3% unemployment to so high they won't release the numbers!  Crazy.  Just read in the paper it could get to 20%.  My mortgage institution (US Bank) didn't offer any help to anyone with their loans, some are giving skipped payments.  They even skipped a month's statement so we didn't know where we stood...had to call them yesterday as my payment came out the day before. 

Haven't heard of any helps from our local utilities either.  I hope my daughter is having better luck in Eugene.  No increase in my 10 GB/month data allowance.

Here's an article that tells how they're figuring the stimulus check amount you'll get.  You can't get more than you paid in taxes in 2018.  
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/20/coronavirus-rescue-checks-may-shortchange-americans-on-social-security.html?fbclid=IwAR2g8LI4FYai_xW9sSU0M91ZAcgYpKDStwQPBsQlMLd4y2_qmzdMDaisVuI

OR doesn't give breaks on property taxes unless you're a business owner that they want in the area.  No refunds, no discounts.  They can spend money as fast as we send it in!

 

 

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4 hours ago, kayc said:

  So sad, her and my dad built that house and nothing left of it.

Had to put parents house on market, second person took it.  My sister had no ready money to get things out.  Tool shed in back with family belongings, had to be left.  Took down her beautiful flower trees first.  Nothing we could do.  My sister could not keep house up.  I signed everything over to her.  She is barely making it even now, money gets "gone" fast.  sometimes that thing that is said that about worry, that if nothing can be done, why worry.  I have seen the point I have to do that.  I will see it more and feel so helpless.  None of us with the virus yet though, so we can be thankful for something.  My sister's lungs are terrible and that scares me.  My son working in a hospital worries me.  My daughter being so immune compromised scares me, my granddaughter with her drug-born anxieties from a bio-drug mother, her fears that I cannot cure, they scare me.  I scare me.  

Louisiana has worse numbers related to the crowds of Mardi Gras coming "home" with the virus.  Wonder if maybe being in a particular humid state does not harm us.  

I really think the insurance worry is not even on the list of worries for this epidemic..

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Having a tough morning.  Pain is a given.  Depression bad as I had a dream about Steve.  It was the 2nd recently where he doesn’t need me.  This Tim was more intense as I knew he was going to divorce or do something and he would be gone and I alone.  I was frantic as I didn’t know why,  more to it, but just crazy dream stuff, tho seeing my mother and a friend from the nursing home didn’t help as I so miss them too.

if I had to speculate, I would say this is driven by the isolation we have been forced into.  I know I’m not handling it well alone.  I really have been feeling so adrift and yearning for his presence thru this 'madness' and I only call it that because of its effect on me.  It is the right protocols for such an emergency.  It’s the only way to save lives.

Time magazines cover story today is Apart, but not Alone.  I interpret it in a different way than just with strangers.  I’m looking at it as my personal existence.  I received notice today from my insurance about downloading an app for televisits for doctor appointments.  Also letting me get 60 day supply of meds.  Supposed to be 90, but screwed up somehow and I hope we don’t need that long.  Point being, we are essentially alone.  I don’t care how it’s spun, technology will never replace the interaction we need.  I don’t have a smart phone so I can’t see anyone I know personally.  

We all had our bad times in real life with our partners.  Worked thru those times.  When we talk about perfect, we mean perfect for our personal relationship with them.  Has any of you had dreams where that love is lost to you, not by missing them or for you,  but they being different and not needing or wanting us anymore?  I’m not sure how to handle this new feeling.  I had dreams I couldn’t reach him, but nothing like this.  It was like he was moving on and my dreams are the only place I can go and have it feel like he and I are together in some way.  What a way to start another day in solitude.  😓

 

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47 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

 Has any of you had dreams where that love is lost to you, not by missing them or for you,  but they being different and not needing or wanting us anymore?  I’m not sure how to handle this new feeling.  I had dreams I couldn’t reach him, but nothing like this.  It was like he was moving on and my dreams are the only place I can go and have it feel like he and I are together in some way.  What a way to start another day in solitude.  😓

Gwen:  I haven't had a dream with my husband in it for some time now - or if I did I can't remember.  It might be I tend to need something to help me sleep so that part of my brain is too drugged.  Sorry your dreams are not more comforting to you.  

Sometimes I do day dream and recall wonderful memories of being with Bob and even though he is not here with me, I have a feeling he might be feeling my thoughts of our happier times.

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

 I really have been feeling so adrift and yearning for his presence thru this 'madness' and I only call it that because of its effect on me.

Being the introvert I am, and not minding being home, is to my advantage in this quarantine way of living.  But every once in awhile when I look outside and see no activity from the neighbors or no traffic noise I find myself thinking enough already.  Maybe I'm spiraling down into depression?  Tears are just at the surface more than usual.  Looking at Facebook posts or reading emails I find myself breaking out into tears.  It is surely what you are saying about how missing our husband's presence in such a time is 'madness'.  So sorry for you and all of us here.

The normal things we used to be able to do, we can't do now.  When I was driven to my eye appointment Thursday, I couldn't give my Grand daughter a Grandma hug and kiss like I used to be able to do.  Like I say, "Enough Already".

Hope your dreams will be Happy Dreams.  Hugs, Dee

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I was talking to my rehab roomie and she commented that we both spent over 30 days basically isolated from the world before this self quarantine began. So we were feeling the effects of lack of human contact normally for a very long time to come home to this now.   We were pondering how those that are just a couple weeks into this will feel as we are there now AND how we will feel being an extra month into it when that time maker hits. I know many stayed at home a lot anyway.  But as one member here reminded me there us a big difference between having the choice and it being decided for you.  Cloak that in grief and it’s a terrible recipe of loneliness.  I know people that have partners and kids will feel the strain of this, but they can take breaks from each other knowing they have them for companionship in the little things like meals, movies, TV, being able to play board or card games.  Things we may not have had time for.  How great it would be not to have to avoid everyone you are around.  My doctors are all going to televisits.  One counselor too.  The counseling will be helpful to see him.  But the medical I am not sure will be very effective for hands on evaluations of some problems.  Even if they talk you through it yourself, can we be sure we are doing it right?  This is a lot to adapt to without the safest, most loved and loved you back person we belonged to. 

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I suppose it's human nature to not like being told what we can and can't do. But this time it seems there's a monster lurking just outside our door to grab us and gobble us up, or so they say. Where's Superman when you need him?

Although I'm used to staying home, I miss the visits to the grocery store(of all places,  lol), library, and Walmart. Right now I miss Great Clips the most. I'm beginning to look a bit shaggy, not that there's anyone who ever notices. I just don't want to scare myself looking in the mirror.

Although keeping their distance, people were still hiking our few hills and walking in the parks. Those have now been closed. I sure hope all these closures serve their purpose and curb the virus. It's ruining so many businesses, not to mention our sanity.

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18 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Has any of you had dreams where that love is lost to you, not by missing them or for you,  but they being different and not needing or wanting us anymore?  I’m not sure how to handle this new feeling.  I had dreams I couldn’t reach him, but nothing like this.  It was like he was moving on and my dreams are the only place I can go and have it feel like he and I are together in some way.

It could be you're projecting your feelings of isolation and it's affecting your dreams.  Don't accept/believe that anything has come between you to force anything other than the complete closeness and love you always have shared.  Choose to realize that regardless of all that has happened, the two of you are still tight.  George and I based our relationship on faith in each other and I've continued that in the long years since his death even as I know he has too on the other end.  This is but time apart.  I truly believe we'll be together again.  it was nothing short of a miracle that we found each other and were so perfect for each other...I believe another miracle can brings us back together when I'm done here.

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Kay, maybe I should have asked you this in private mail, but I know It has been posted publicly by another member.  He said there was no marriage in the afterlife/heaven.  So what would be the relationship when you are with them again?  Obviously, there is no certainty but your faith, but I am interested to know what that is being a person that knows we are energy that has to change form, the physics perspective.  

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11 hours ago, KarenK said:

. Where's Superman when you need him?

Although I'm used to staying home, I miss the visits to the grocery store(of all places,  lol), library, and Walmart. Right now I miss Great Clips the most.

Although keeping their distance, people were still hiking our few hills and walking in the parks. Those have now been closed. I sure hope all these closures serve their purpose and curb the virus. It's ruining so many businesses, not to mention our sanity.

Well, Superman would be immune.  As long as the virus isn’t green and originated on Krypton.  🙂

Coincidentally, I had the very same desire to get my hair cut and missed the window as all places are closed.  I don’t have anyone here that could at least cut off a few inches.  I’d love to have my hair washed too.

Ive seen signs in school fields they are shut down, but for activities.  People are still walking the tracks and some illegally running their dogs, but no one seems to admonish it as ANY way to escape the isolation that is relatively safe is high priority to mental health as you noted.  The city parks have no closure signs up.  Same thing happening there.  Lots of foot traffic in my neighborhood.  I guess people opting to walk rather than drive to the grocery down the street.  I’ve had to ask people the date many days.  It’s such a blur without a normal structure.   I’m so looking for things to do that I can with my physical problems I wind up filling my pill boxes once a week now even tho I have 2 weeks worth.  I guess it’s a comfort thing, knowing I am covered all the time when on gets depleted.  I miss having my bed changed as I need who does that to do it, but they don’t know when they will be back.  Same with vacuuming and 2 dogs, birds chucking food out of the cage, feathers and general debris from the storms outside it’s hard to feel the place is clean.  

On my vent issue today, I tried sleeping to give my worst side a break.  It didn’t help and it feels almost worse.  I want to go get a paper and that will be massively painful.  Trying to keep the dogs entertained by throwing the ball is hard.  The pain meds I was scarcely given cause me to feel clammy and lightheaded.  It makes being alone very frightening.  I dread when I have to walk and all the sitting is weakening my muscles.  It’s a cycle that is not good.  So much I’d like to do with this time, but I can’t.  Worry if something happens to me no one would know.  Frustration I can’t truly take care of myself.  Steve couldn’t fix it, but I’d sure feel a lot safer.  I remember when Kay went thru those horrid storms with no power for days and wonder how she kept sane.  This is a storm in my body that never ends.  Everyone I do interact with is scared of infection so life by phone.  More face places popping up for tablets to try.  If they work it will be a bit job better, but contact for real is so lacking unless you have someone.  The scariest thing of the century (not forgetting 9/11) and we have to face it alone.  So unfair.

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17 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

He said there was no marriage in the afterlife/heaven.

The Bible says there is no marriage in heaven.  Otherwise who would someone be married to that married more than once?  I believe we'll have our memories, know each other, and I believe we'll always be close.  This is one subject I hate going to because it's distressing for many to hear that...me personally, I trust God to work it all out and know what's best.  I also trust my relationship with George and know we'll always be each other's number one fan and love each other...I don't need a title to substantiate that.  :wub:  Also regarding our decayed or incinerated bodies...we'll have a new body.

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16 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

People are still walking the tracks and some illegally running their dogs

Here the governor said we can still walk our dogs, we just have to make sure we're 6' from anyone.  They closed state parks and all playgrounds here.  We don't need signs, it's the law right now and the onus is upon us to keep up on the law.

 

16 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I wind up filling my pill boxes once a week now even tho I have 2 weeks worth.

Ha, I've been doing the same thing!  Don't know what I'm preparing for!

16 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I remember when Kay went thru those horrid storms with no power for days and wonder how she kept sane.

Did I stay sane?  That is the question...

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 1 Corinthians 13:12: “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

"That’s more than enough to settle the issue for me, and I hope that it is for you as well. Christians who know and love each other on earth will know and love each other in heaven"

(That was from Colin Smith, a pastor, and his belief.)  

I don't know.  All I know is something my mama told me all my life.  "You do not question the Bible" and I have lived by that.  Did I have questions?  Well, I sure have had them,, but like the analogy of politics.  I don't understand either one.  I have what I was taught for 18 years.  I have questions I have put to many theologian's.  (Not sure of the spelling of that word).  

I know my faith has been put through a blender of sorts.  

On 3/28/2020 at 4:28 PM, Gwenivere said:

We all had our bad times in real life with our partners.  Worked thru those times.  When we talk about perfect, we mean perfect for our personal relationship with them.  Has any of you had dreams where that love is lost to you, not by missing them or for you,  but they being different and not needing or wanting us anymore?  I’m not sure how to handle this new feeling.

I do not dream about Billy.  I feel his presence next to me each morning, but know he is not there, it lasts only a nanosecond.  I talk to him less.  Sometimes I get angry with him.  No, he would not have left if he could have done anything about it.  I do know we would be together "till the end of time" if he could have.  I get angry/jealous of him as if he were still alive.  The three girls/women he was at one time serious about, and I know it was before me,  but they have all passed away too.  I know this is silly.  I know how stupid it sounds.  Sometimes I feel they have him, I don't.  I have dream amnesia.  I might remember it the next morning, but I can remember dreams I had while married and before marriage, cannot remember any now.  

For awhile I felt his presence, now first thing in the morning I feel it, but only a moment in time.  Scott coded on the operating table after he was shot.  The first time he remembers only a darkness.  The second time he was in a place of happiness among people he knew, but cannot remember how he knew them.  When I doubt myself, like his dad used to help me with my faith, Scott said "you will be with Daddy."  And I am calmed.  It is nearly five years.  I was away from him one time for six weeks, but we saw each other every day, so really not much of a separation.  This time, it is, of course, extreme.  

Like the little water bug that kept wondering what happened to other bugs when they climbed to the top of the water and got their wings, became dragonflies, another verse comes to mind, and I won't quote it exactly, but it comes from 1 Corinthians.  It says when I was a child I spoke as a child.  Then as an adult, I put away childish things.  I don't think of that too much either, just heard my mom quote it often.  

I don;t think any of us have answers, we go by faith and my faith sometimes is all I hold on to.  And my grasp hangs on to  it sometimes in a tenuous hold.

Too much religion here, I did mention politics.  All I can say is this is one woman's journey and the path I have to walk on, and as we have mentioned so many times.  We all have different paths.  

I received information in my Facebook this morning from one of our "prayer warriors" and this is a good woman of faith.  I always feel when she prays for me that I've got to be better.  I know she is not perfect, but she is so much more than I am.  

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Hello Gwen, I have same kind of dreams too. I never met you, my story is different from yours, yet we share that same experience in our dreams. I remember one which was very vivid. We were walking on an empty street, there was only one light on, he was walking away apart from me, like leaving me behind. He seemed careless about that and I was growing in despair at realising we were walking through different paths. He didn't seem human anymore, he was not expressing any emotion. He behaved like a being not from this world.

This dream happened in year 1 and I was in so much pain.

 

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3 hours ago, kayc said:

The Bible says there is no marriage in heaven.  Otherwise who would someone be married to that married more than once?  I believe we'll have our memories, know each other, and I believe we'll always be close.  This is one subject I hate going to because it's distressing for many to hear that...me personally, I trust God to work it all out and know what's best.  I also trust my relationship with George and know we'll always be each other's number one fan and love each other...I don't need a title to substantiate that.  :wub:  Also regarding our decayed or incinerated bodies...we'll have a new body.

In year 2 I was visiting a religious temple on a cultural visit. There was a moment for making questions about religion. I asked: according to your religion, what happens after we die? The man replied: you will be reunited and you will be together in a life that has no end.

I am far to be a faithful person, yet I carry his words in my heart as a certainty, as hope. 

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1 hour ago, Marg M said:

 1 Corinthians 13:12: “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

 

This is too a beautiful definition of Love

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4 hours ago, scba said:

The man replied: you will be reunited and you will be together in a life that has no end.

That's good enough for me!  We have need of marriage here for legalities and such, there we won't.  We are affirmed in our hearts.

We're supposed to get hammered with snow here tonight on, predicting it all week.  I have to work at the church Sat. on the reporting, I wish they'd postpone the state quarterly taxes, but no such luck, so I'll have to come back another time for that, too much to get done in one day.  Supposed to count $ tomorrow and deposit it, may not be able to go anywhere.  I got 3 wheelbarrows of wood in today so should be okay if I can't reach my firewood this week, plus I always keep 5-7 days in my patio rack, so I'm set for that.  Made a huge pot of soup, chicken and lots of vegetables.  This weather warrants it.  It's been POURING rain today!

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2 hours ago, scba said:

This is too a beautiful definition of Love

I agree with you, Ana.  I’m used to seeing myself in the mirror, but I sure miss him seeing me.  Noticing my expressions, trying to get me to smile, telling me if I have peanut butter on my face.  Strangers look at us, but do they really see us?  I don’t think so, it’s a passing acknowledgment and look how people that were present during crimes often say it all happened to fast to describe the perp.  

On the flip side, I miss seeing his face not frozen in a photograph which is all I have.  I still have his voice, but without the rest of him it tears me up inside.  Everything about our partners is tied to the whole of them.  To hear his singing or voice on our answering machine can bring me to my knees in pain.  

I can picture him as realistically in my head like he was sitting right here.  Some people say it has faded for them.  Sometimes when I look at the photographs on the wall, tho, I wonder was he ever real?  Of course I know he was, but my mind gets jammed up not being able to reconcile it being able to recreate him but not touch that recreation.  I don’t know what to do with the good and bad things that happen I would talk to him about.  I talk to docs, therapists and aquaintinenses but they have such limited knowledge of the whole me.  I face serious decisions now without a sounding board for opinions that takes in all facets of me as I did with him thru his battle.  What decisions sound the best and what feels unnecessary.  I’d give anything to look into his eyes and ask.....what should I/we do concerning (insert whatever predicament).  

Being hit by that dream of his leaving me, as in yours, was the most pain I’ve felt in the 5 years he has been gone.  I don’t know why my mind would do that beyond trying to process this isolation caused by the virus that is now getting to people who thought staying home wouldn’t be that bad.  I knew this would create more stress for everyone, family or not with them.  No matter how you wrap it, we are looking at the world from a fish bowl we are stuck in.  Cut off from the river of connected contact we took for granted, even strangers.  We are reacted to as physical enemies by being told to treat everyone and ourselves as being infected.  So I watch the couples walk by, holding hands and envy them.  The appreciation they have probably found for each other to now deepen thier relationship.  I hope they get that added bond.

 

 

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Try not to let random dreams get to you...not all of them are visitations/messages, some might have to do with what you ate last night or fears you've pondered momentarily or a movie you watched.  Don't affix anything to him that is out of character for him.  You know he'd never leave you of his own accord!  I'm so sorry it hit you so painfully.  Sometimes dreams seem so realistic we forget THEY ARE NOT REAL.  If you get a good dream, savor it, if you get a bad one, dismiss it.  Stop and think about how it really was between you...that's how both of you still feel.

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Thanks Kay.  You are right, I know how it really was between us.  Coincidentally I had a dream about him last night we were doing something daring and I think illegal!  Trespassing or sumthin.  Anyway, I felt the thrill of doing something with him trying to be quiet, but giggling, watching each other’s backs, etc.   

read a blurb this morning about surviving this isolation.  Unfortunately it was written more for people with family or roommates.  These things always stress hobbies and taking care of home projects we didn’t have time for.  Not having a hobby (unless you count being on the iPad more than ever to connect to people) and unable to physically do things I’d love to, it’s pretty frustrating.  Now I read the CDC may say make homemade masks. Mental health specialists say limit how much you read about this everyday which I do, but hearing this adds to anxiety.  I’m guessing I would find this something to do if Steve were here.  Being alone I’m not that spurred to do more than the distancing.  For my conditions, it would probably be deadly for me to contract it.  That isn’t very scary to me.  Probably shouldn’t voice that, but this my safe place.  

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I hear you.  I haven't made a mask but then I'm trying not to go around people.  Need to get to the church to do their books but being as it's quarterly PR tax time I'll need two days down there...will bring a can of disinfectant spray with me when I do go because the secretary and I use the same keyboard, desk, chair, etc.  Opted out of counting $ this morning as the sec. was there to help count so I didn't see it necessary.  Cancelled my doctor's appointments...good thing I called Dermatology as they're closed up.  Will reschedule in May or June for my physical, made an appt. for mid May for Derm.  I would literally being going mad if not for Kodie, he keeps me busy.  This morning he broke his leash on our walk and could have easily escaped but I called him to me for a treat, which I didn't have, then swooped him up and carried him home to "get his treat."  He cried the whole way, didn't think a big dog like himself should be carried!  Fortunately I have Lucky's old leash to make do with meanwhile.

Snowed today, supposed to the next seven days and who knows when it'll quit.  Someone forgot to tell the sky that it's Spring!

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We have lousy weather too.  I like seeing sunshine, but as we can’t really go anywhere I’m doing OK with the grey.  I still have to get out but it helps me accept the empty fields of activity as they’d be rained out.  Anything to try and make sense in a time where nothing does.

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Our weather is 80 and cloudy, the kind you want to go outside and enjoy before the oven is turned on here.

Encountered my first human in a month or so, other than my family. Went outside to put an envelope in the mailbox and the mailman was coming up the driveway. I said "Perfect timing" and handed it to him. He replied "Thank you" and continued on his way. No mask or gloves so evidently postal workers are not shaking in their boots. I washed my hands after perusing my mail as I've always done. It's just a habit.

Okay, here's one for you. Either cranberry juice and water are a miracle for a UTI or I'm crazy which is debatable. I've been drinking both and my symptoms and discomfort are almost gone. Still have to respond pretty quickly when the need arises, but that could just be old age calling. Not going to try and figure this out, just keep my fingers crossed.

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